[kanche]

The location you share with your friend is dead accurate, not an area but the exact gps point in map. I did not realize I was sharing location when the feature was first announced -- told a friend I am just five minutes away from his house: he replied no you aren't -- found this feature and switched it off for good at that moment, it's intimidating.

[nodata]

Or maybe not lie?

[darklajid]

That's unrelated.

Sharing _exact_ locations by default without realizing it is creepy/intimidating. The content of the message/the incident itself is just an anecdote that explains how the GP noticed this idiotic behavior of FB's chat.

Commenting on the anecdote derails the thread as far as I'm concerned. The subject is 'FB shares detailed location data and you might not know it', not 'one time, in band camp, I lied to a friend about my ETA'.

Ignoring that, there's no way to judge his communication with a friend. The only two people that can decide whether a lie like that is acceptable are the people involved. The friend might be offended and agree with you. Or laugh about it and ask for a beer in return, being totally fine with it. Expecting it? Who knows. And still irrelevant.

We can blame HN for being unable to hide subthreads, but for now the first 2 pages on my 25" monitor discuss if lies are acceptable or not and in what circumstances..

[kanche]

Thanks for seeing the focal point of my comment. Cheers!

In India, " bus(just) 5 minute mein(in) aaya(coming) " is a way of saying I am going to reach there soon and the other end knows this means either he is far away or hasn't even started yet. His reply was a banter.

Literal translation created this whole mess! This has nothing to do with ETA.

[outericky]

At least on iOS, they have to ask to use location services. Granted, it doesn't say "so we can tell your contacts exactly where you are..." but for iOS users at least, the default should always be "No" when an app asks. Then decide later.

[bentcorner]

I'm adding to the noise, but on Firefox there's a "add collapse subthreads button" add-on. I think there's one for Chrome too.

[pavel_lishin]

https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/hacker-news-collap...

[hiamnew]

Small lies like that are a huge part of everyday communications. No one should feel overly guilty about them and we need to be able to make them. They can be a kind of courtesy.

[dmak]

While I do agree with being able to make small lies, but why would you tell someone whose waiting for you that you are 5 minutes away if you are clearly not. Maybe it's just me, but when someone says 5 minutes, I don't expect 10, 15, or 30. I expect 5 minutes. This is especially true in Asian cultures.

[personlurking]

One of the worst offenders is Brazil. When living there, it was common to hear "I'm on my way" (to an agreed meeting point at a specific time) but that could mean they actually are on their way or that they've just got up from the couch and will go take a shower, choose what to wear, maybe have a bite to eat and then think about transportation.

Knowing this, the trick was either to not take specific times seriously or to give a fake meeting time (earlier than the actual one) so the person gets there on time.

[at-fates-hands]

When I was in college, my Native American roommate introduced to "native time" which is the same as you related it while you were in Brazil.

If he had no set time to meet, he'd say he would be there around "native o' clock" which meant he would be there at the time +/- 30-45 minutes. If we agreed to a specific time, he would be there on time. It really helped me and I learned a lot about how Native American culture operated while we were roommates.

[tolt]

As a norwegian living in Peru I used the same methods. I started to tell my peruvian friends that we were meeting at a resturant instead of a street corner. Different cultures have different understanding of time.

[paganel]

It depends on the culture. When I hear "I'll be late 5 minutes" that usually means 10 or 15, "10 minutes late" means an actual 20 or 30 minutes, while everything higher than 20 minutes could mean an actual hour. I live in Romania.

[Fuxy]

That's why i set myself a rule of whenever somebody says I will be there in 5 minutes I translate it to give me 5 minutes to show up if i don't forget about it.

And I hold everyone to it. If you don't show up in the amount of time you specify I'm gone.

I'm Romanian too I just hate wasting my time. My friends learned that really quickly.

[untog]

What if they get stuck on the train? There are other, non-lazy reasons for being late.

If I'd taken a 30 minute train ride to come and see you, been delayed by 10 minutes, then find you're gone when I arrive I don't think our friendship would last very long.

[rokhayakebe]

If you don't show up in the amount of time you specify I'm gone.

Respect.

[dmak]

"I'll be late 5 minutes" does not have the same set of expectations for "I am just five minutes away" which is what kanche said.

[dalore]

I'll be late 5 minutes means you're 10 minutes away (5 minutes to get there on time and 5 minutes of being late).

[xux]

The point is, it doesn't matter. It's none of your business why someone lies.

[dmak]

Actually, the point is to manage expectations. Instead of saying I'll be there in 5 minutes, it would be better to say I am going to be X minutes late. There's lying to hide your business, but there's also lying and being inconsiderate of other people's time.

[Squarel]

Or, it could be your best estimate, based on current traffic conditions or walking speed.

I always underestimate how long it will take,this does not mean I am lying, it means I am bad at guessing how long it takes me to walk/drive/sit in a train somewhere

[qubex]

He might've been closer than he was making out to be. Yours is an unwarranted assumption.

[learnstats2]

When people make this lie, what they are really saying is: "Stop whatever you are doing and be ready and waiting for when I finally arrive".

The negative consequences fall on the person receiving the lie. It's not a courtesy. It has long-term consequences to your credibility and trustworthiness.

It is far better to tell the truth in this case.

[amerkhalid]

Tardiness/lack of understanding of time is actually a huge problem in our culture . Most of us take it by default that other person would be at least an hour late. So we usually give an hour earlier than intended time when hosting a party or something. (We usually give actual time to our Western friends).

However, this creates problem for people who actually show up on the given time. Now you have guests in the house to entertain while at the same time make preparations for the party. It also embarrassing for guest to arrive on time only to find out that they are early.

Sometimes when we really want to convey be timeliness, we say something like 5PM American Time not Desi Time. But I really wish we don't have to do this.

[copperx]

Would "5PM sharp" do it?

[amerkhalid]

We use "5PM sharp" or its equivalent in Urdu or Hindi but usually it doesn't mean much.

When we want people to be on time and don't want to assume that they will be late, we usually say a little more or give a reason (like we made reservations etc).

[Squarel]

The truth would be "I have no clue how long it will take me to get there"

[learnstats2]

"I just passed landmark X and I'm on foot" is often more helpful.

[corobo]

Or maybe "Here's my GPS coords and current speed". Facebook Messenger should add direction and speed information!

[icebraining]

On that note, I recommend Mark Twain's On The Decay Of The Art Of Lying: http://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/2572/pg2572.html

[rdl]

There are also cases where lying to say something is longer than the direct distance is more accurate. i.e. if I know I'm going to stop for gas/etc., even if I'm "5 minutes away" by distance, I might say I'm 10 minutes away.

[nodata]

What's the benefit (to both parties) for the example he gave?

[rainingtomorrow]

That's a good example of how faulty "if you don't have anything to hide, you have nothing to worry about" argument is.

[d0vs]

He has something to hide

[josefresco]

Everyone, has something to hide.

[dspillett]

It may not have been a lie. It could simply have been a bad estimate, maybe he guessed he was about five minutes away but didn't know the area too well and was more then ten minutes away?

[LLWM]

Then it's a good thing Facebook came through with the more accurate information.