[voiceofchoice]

I encourage anyone surprised that people would opt out of babies and raising kids actually spend time with kids.

Not just like for the holidays and pass them back when they start crying, but an actual extended period of time dealing with all the issues that they bring.

You've got to be a special kind of idealistic romantic to still see the appeal afterwards. Which is great for you of course if you do. But there's a reason authoritarians across the world are banning abortion and targeting birth control.

[zbentley]

> there's a reason authoritarians across the world are banning abortion and targeting birth control

I don’t think that’s because of birth rate decline. While authoritarians give lip service to that occasionally, it’s never their primary cited reason (which is usually some combo of religion, purported return to “traditional” prosperity via reduced promiscuity, aggression against feminist political opponents, etc). Also, most authoritarians aren’t that long-term in their goals.

[matchbok3]

Extended period? How about 5 years? 15? 25?

There is literally nothing in the world that compares to the joy of having a large, loving, family that you helped create. The day-by-day crying or trivial complaints that you are so short-sighted about simply don't matter.

I encourage you to talk to some happy families.

[thewhitetulip]

Basic statistics, common sense and dire poverty would dictate that there will be a sizable number of unhappy families.

If you're surrounded by only happy families then you're privileged.

I've seen families where husbands come home drunk and best the wives (in 2026)

[matchbok3]

You are in the family you help create. It is not just thrust upon you. The existence of despair need not discourage others to thrive.

[willmarch]

That’s assuming no disease, mental illness, unforeseen events, injuries, forced poverty, unexpected deaths, etc. A great deal of family dynamics is outside of a person’s full control.

[thewhitetulip]

That's also neglecting the fact that Indian boomers are very nosy and the culture pressures adults to have kids but gives 0 support. Neither culture nor religion or the govt does anything to help.

[leosanchez]

> culture pressures adults to have kids but gives 0 support.

Really 0 support ? I know many grandparents who entirely took care of their grandkids for 2–3 years. So their kids can work.

Mind you, Not by living in the same city and helping. But taking care of grandkids in their own village / town.

You clearly have no idea of culture nor religion of the country.

[trumpdong]

Did the drunk wife-beaters intend to be that way?

[thewhitetulip]

I think you're too idealistic (or of right wing ideology). The culture aka parents inlaws and random aubties and uncles pressurize Indian couples to have 1 kid then 2nd kid then 3rd kid

But neither of them come to help these days with childcare. Just for the photos and for lolz

Very few couples have kids of their own violitin

Not to mention some religious sects/cultures who look down upon contraceptives due to religious beliefs

So yeah, loads of parents become parents by accident and not by their own choice. (Not saying everyone is like this but a large number is like this)

[causal]

Complete opposite experience for me. I wish I'd had kids sooner- I was too influenced by popular negativity about kids: the expenses, the loss of freedom, etc.

Most of that is bullshit. Having kids has made literally every aspect of my life more fun.

[em-bee]

there are several comments here contradicting you directly and talking about how kids are a great experience.

[voiceofchoice]

I mean yeah, the human experience is vast and varied, I'll grant you that.

As long as people get to make the best choice for themselves that's really what matters.

There's lots of people who would choose not to expose ourselves to the risks and liabilities because we don't see the rewards as worth it.

[toasty228]

Your body go through a lot of hormonal changes when it's your own kids, of course it does not work as well with other random kids...

But of course people on this forum believe we're basically machines and that machines are interchangeable, they're so far in the techno bubble they forget we're just some kind of complex apes