[Closi]

Pretty amazing effort, this looks like a great labour of love!

I can't give feedback on the code/technology, but on the writing on the lore section, I would try to simplify the writing. For instance the following:

> The reverberations of the trumpet stirred the knights from their deep repose, igniting a tumultuous awakening. With swords unsheathed and hearts ablaze, they clashed in a thunderous symphony of war, each seeking to claim dominance over the waking realm.

Feels too ornate (purple prose) and could be more directly put as:

> The trumpet’s call jolted the knights from their rest. Swords drawn and hearts alight, they clashed in a fierce battle, each striving for dominance.

I'm not an author or anything, but a little bit of copy writing could help - although this might just be me as it's probably a matter of personal taste!

[bitterblotter]

This definitely has a GPT smell, at no fault of the creator. Reminds me of a PR i reviewed about a simple security patch, where the description said "The following changes have been implemented to strengthen our role-based access policies and system security" - Like yeah, it's security patch. A small tweak to his prompt would probably do the trick

[DuLR10]

No AI-based tools were used to make the lore. One of our developers (not me) is more of an intense reader and retro gamer; he was the one chosen to write it.

[montedeipaschi]

I hate AI I hate AI I hate AI I hate AI

[nineteen999]

But we love Bulwer-Lytton!

[curtisblaine]

I love Siena!

[montedeipaschi]

I wrote that down as an inspiration of Paradise Lost by Milton. The original idea was to appeal to the phonology of English and structure it as a sonnet, but that got rushed

[montedeipaschi]

That is purple prose, however. I cannot deny it

[pmarreck]

i have "no purple prose" in my custom instructions

[skulk]

It's definitely a matter of taste. The first version has flavor, the second is flat. The first reminds me of the style of writing that got me hooked on MUDs.

[inopinatus]

LOUD MUSIC BROUGHT ALL THESE ANGRY SWORD GUYS TO THE YARD AND YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

[montedeipaschi]

We were actually considering a MUD at first, but then we added raylib

[adamc]

Yeah, agree. "Jolted" is not as evocative as "stirred".

[nonethewiser]

It's a style thing. Fantasy writing often does this deliberately.

I've thought about this before when I revisited fantasy after years of being in the CS domain which helped me abhor ornate writing. I definitely think there is such thing as TOO ornate but dead-simple language also feels bad. It feels wrong to just say its an exception with fantasy - simplicity is good because it conveys the same thing more clearly and with less effort. I would think that transcends all domains. Still not sure how I feel about this. I guess there is a baseline non-styled language that is all about communicating raw info and then there is style that can be applied to writing which makes it feel more natural in different domains.

Having said all this, I actually do like your example more.

[Closi]

You are right - it's a balance and definitely a matter of taste.

Although not-ornate doesn't necessarily mean dead-simple or bad. For instance compare the following:

> The reverberations of the trumpet stirred the knights from their deep repose, igniting a tumultuous awakening.

With a very similar sentence from Tolkein:

> At that moment, among the trees nearby, a horn rang out. It rent the night like fire on a hill-top. Awake! Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!

This is much less ornate, with simpler language, yet easier to parse and the image is much more vivid.

[danenania]

From a writing perspective, I think much of it is about “weighting”. If you make every line ornate and full of adjectives, then nothing stands out.

Therefore for not-so-important details like “the knight woke up” that are just about giving the reader necessary info to follow along, it’s generally better to put less weight and emphasis by stating it plainly. This way when you do add emphasis to make the reader visualize a crucial scene or situation, or describe emotional states at these moments etc, they will jump out as being special rather than just more of the same.

In my experience, every great writer follows this pattern, though they begin at different baselines. It’s fundamental to good writing, just like creating attention hierarchy is fundamental to good graphic design.

[nonethewiser]

That's a good example. I agree the imagery is strong with the Tolkien example. It also struck me as how you might say it if you are verbally telling the story. The "among the trees nearby" interlude and the successive exclamations at the end.

[sigbottle]

Exactly. Even though I understand every word of this quote

> The reverberations of the trumpet stirred the knights from their deep repose, igniting a tumultuous awakening. With swords unsheathed and hearts ablaze, they clashed in a thunderous symphony of war, each seeking to claim dominance over the waking realm.

there's a distinct feeling of disconnect, I guess? That language feels much more appropriate, when say, you're on top of a mountain and admiring the beautiful landscape around you. Tolkein's words capture the urgency and adrenaline of war with his simpler sentences.

I suppose I'd need to see the context behind the original quote; in a historical lore recap, I'm more happy with that quote.

(Not going to pretend like I know precisely what's different as it's all subjective, but I suspect the mood you're trying to go for heavily impacts your writing choice)

[pandemic_region]

So when there is less ornate and difficult language to parse for the brain, there are more cycles available for imagination? Indeed z a thin line to balance.

[inopinatus]

True high fantasy would not reference swords and trumpets, first spending a chapter or two defining a world with its own musical instruments and bladed weapons, their names of course also being in a language, sorry, tongue, for which the author must also first labour to invent a common version spoken by everyone, an ancient/high version only remembered by a few, and at least one alphabet.

In addition, each one must be described in detail, including a potted life story of the blacksmith that created it; when, why, and for whom; metallurgical observations; history of actual use; any supernatural blessings whether apocryphal or actual; the litany of families that have retained it as an heirloom & their subsequent social or political fates; details of any inscription or filigree; and a nickname. This remains true for both the swords and the trumpet. Additional remarks concerning a scabbard or case are optional but highly regarded.

[Kinrany]

The short version is better.

[wyldfire]

Maybe we could throw a "lurgid bee" in there somewhere?

[dgfitz]

The colorful version is better.