[cgvgffyv]

What if you eat packaged foods because you're too scared of making yourself sick because you've missed something very obvious while cooking that everyone else knows about?

Are there any YouTube videos of paranoid cooking? ie they'd teach where to look to see if you've screwed up etc.

Asking for a friend.

[the_af]

Paranoid cooking as in "how can I be sure what I'm cooking isn't toxic"?

I started cooking relatively late in my life, and the lesson is: unless you're doing something strange, it's really hard to poison yourself by cooking. Also: real cooks improvise, they don't follow a recipe set in stone.

You can always screwup and cook something that doesn't taste nice (especially by overcooking), but if you mix and cook random vegetables, chicken, rice, etc, you'll generally have something edible and non-poisonous. If you follow an actual recipe it's even better, of course. Eventually you'll learn some tricks (e.g. sautéed onions go with everything and smell nice).

I suppose stay away from seafood or anything you're unsure of how (long) to cook.

[Gnewt]

I wonder if you might be approaching the problem from the wrong direction. In all likelihood, you're not going to make any grave mistakes -- you're just going to make food slightly below par a couple times until you hone in your cooking skills. It's probably worth practicing cooking some simple meals until that sense of paranoia diminishes rather than trying to cater to it.

(I honestly used to avoid cooking because I wasn't good at it -- the only thing to "fix" that was to start cooking, and now I feel comfortable with it and cook all the time)

[the_af]

Heh heh, I used to avoid cooking because I thought cooks followed a rigid set of instructions, and if they missed anything that meant the whole preparation became inedible (maybe that was the programmer in me!). Then my brother -- who's real good at cooking -- told me the truth: it's hard to screw up a meal. Beyond some basic tricks, he improvises. Exact quantities don't matter. Don't use too much salt (this is subjective and you get better at it), don't overcook (ditto), butter and oil may be unhealthy but make everything better, etc.

I'll never be a great cook, and I occasionally overcook something -- which is in my opinion the number one sin -- when I'm not paying attention, but I manage. Cooking doesn't scare me anymore.

[Gnewt]

This matches my experience! I thought there was a rigid set of instructions and that if I couldn't follow them perfectly I would ruin the meal. Definitely the programmer in me :). And definitely, in retrospect, a totally misguided notion.

[HeyLaughingBoy]

Thank you for posting this!

I've been cooking in one way or another since I was about 10 years old and this perspective has simply never occurred to me. And for the life of me I could never understand why people thought cooking was so difficult.

Suddenly a lot of that makes sense now :-)

[smileysteve]

I'm like your brother; I innately understand cause and effect when cooking; I can see something in a restaurant, and mimic it on the first try with reasonable results.

a fellow programmer shared that not everybody understands cooking like that, that the causal relationships, understanding of temperatures, or additions of flavors.

He was reading this book. "The Science of Cooking" https://www.amazon.com/Science-Cooking-Peter-Barham/dp/35406...

In a way, cooking is like coding; we can all learn through a bootcamp or tutorial, but for some of us it clicks really quickly.

[Eric_WVGG]

This is going to sound like it’s not directly addressing your concerns, but stay with me: watch Alton Brown’s old Food TV series "Good Eats".

I used to think cooking was this sort of mysterious voodoo with arbitrary rules, and could not (and still cannot) memorize a recipe to save my life. Good Eats changed everything.

Alton Brown had a background in children's television, and decided to apply that approach to a cooking show.* Instead of simply saying "this meal will taste great, here's how to make it," he goes into weird Sesame Street-style digressions into the science behind things like the "Mailard Reaction" (how the browned crust on a burger or steak happens and why it's delicious) or why different oils get used for different things.

Once the science, chemistry and physics of cooking started making sense to me, I quickly became a pretty goddamned good chef (if I do say so myself). I think this will have a similar effect on your fears — once you get how it all works you won't be afraid of fucking up.

After you've covered the basics with Alton, try http://www.cookingforengineers.com and Modernist Cuisine

* In fact, he didn't even know how to cook; he had the idea, took two years of classes, then made the pitch to the networks.

[rebuilder]

Most edibles in a supermarket you can just wolf down. Some things to consider:

-If you use dried beans, soak them overnight and boil them for an hour. Discard the water. You'll save yourself stomach pains this way.

-Do not eat uncooked wheat. Your stomach will thank you.

-Do not eat potatoes with green bits. They're a bit toxic.

-If the vacuum-sealed packaging meat comes in is starting to bulge, pick another package. The meat is releasing gases in the initial stages of spoiling. (Probably still fine to eat,cooked)

-Wash your vegetables. Soil bacteria can give you a bad time, although the risk isn't terribly high. In some countries, human excrement is still used for fertilization - this carries a risk of Hepatitis C and you want to heat the produce properly before consumption.

-If it smells off or tastes bad, don't eat it!

I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. This list is already full of "very unlikely to give you trouble" items as is. Have fun cooking!

[throwanem]

It's pretty hard to screw up, especially more than once. Here's how to avoid the 90% cases in food poisoning:

- Wash your hands.

- Wash your tools.

- Wash fruits and vegetables before chopping.

- Don't let meat other than whole beef sit at room temperature.

- Cook meat other than whole beef all the way through. Use a thermometer, not a rule of thumb.

- If in doubt, cook it another five minutes.

- Wash anything that touches raw meat other than whole beef before it touches anything else. This includes your hands.

- If in doubt, wash it again.

[nommm-nommm]

Don't wash raw chicken though.

[throwanem]

I mean, you can rinse it. Probably should, really. I hope I don't need to specify "don't use soap on food" in so many words...

[nommm-nommm]

No! You absolutely should not ever rinse raw chicken. It doesn't do anything except cross contaminate your entire kitchen!! There is really no reason to and very good reasons not to.

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/homehygiene/Pages/washing-chicken...

http://drexel.edu/dontwashyourchicken/

[throwanem]

Good to know!

[jdietrich]

As long as it's fresh and piping hot throughout, it's safe. If you're paranoid, buy a meat thermometer. The safe minimum temperatures are listed at the link below.

https://www.foodsafety.gov/keep/charts/mintemp.html

[smogcutter]

I think a meat thermometer is the best kitchen tool you can own, but folks should be advised that the "safe minimum" temperatures are (understandably) very conservative. The recommended 145 for pork, for example, is done. Anything higher will be overcooked and dry.

[cpenner461]

+1 on the Alton Brown recommendation from others.

A book that we've used a lot for ideas on cooking healthy and cheap meals is "Good and Cheap" by Leanne Brown. You can download the PDF for free from her site, or buy a hardcopy from several sites (I have no affiliation, just a happy buyer/reader/cook):

https://www.leannebrown.com/cookbooks/

It's based on trying to counter this very idea ... and has a lot of great ideas for what feels like "fancy" meals, but with pretty simple ingredients/instructions. Highly recommended if you are interested in expanding your kitchen repertoire (whether you're a cooking newbie or an experienced "foodie").

[Broken_Hippo]

I'd suggest that the best way to get over this is to learn food safety, proper handwashing, and get a few materials to help with that (different cutting boards for different things, etc). This sorts of things are the best way to cut down on food-borne illnesses.

And learn the statistics on them as well, so that you have a logical way to dismiss the fear.

Then start cooking simple things and work your way up.

[frandroid]

Not really a problem for vegan cooking. Go ahead and cook whichever way, and the worst thing that happens is undercooked or overcooked.

[mrob]

Not true. Incorrectly cooked kidney beans (and to a lesser degree other beans) can cause severe vomiting and diarrhea, because of phytohaemagglutinin toxicity, which needs prolonged heating to destroy:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phaseolus_vulgaris#Toxicity

[nommm-nommm]

Improperly washing vegetables can lead to a really bad time as well.

[the_af]

Cook whichever way, but remember to wash raw vegetables thoroughly! Improperly cleaned raw vegetables are a common source of gastroenteritis and similar illnesses (or more serious ones -- I still remember a cholera epidemic in my country when I was younger).

[xherberta]

A meat thermometer is great for quantitatively confirming that your food has achieved a germ-killing temperature.

Other than that, be paranoid about raw meat and its juices. Use disinfecting spray and paper towels to clean up any drips or spills. Don't set meat wrappers on the counter - send them straight into the trash. Immediately wash any utensils or plates that touched the meat, then wash your hands.

Wash your veggies; wash them well. Be sure to get leftovers into the fridge as soon as they're reasonably cool. To be on the safe side, throw away leftovers that have been out for more than 2 hours.

[tomjen3]

Use minced beef, since it is entirely obviously when it has been made safe (it will turn brown). Always use a clean knife, cutting board and hands for meat and things that come from the ground.

Also experiment with roasting things in the oven because with a cooking thermometer that's pretty much fool proof in terms of safety.

Finally consider a slow cooker/Instapot. Cook things for 8 hours and everything is safe to eat if it ever will be.

[nitrogen]

As another reply said, buy a thermometer.