[Eric_WVGG]

This is going to sound like it’s not directly addressing your concerns, but stay with me: watch Alton Brown’s old Food TV series "Good Eats".

I used to think cooking was this sort of mysterious voodoo with arbitrary rules, and could not (and still cannot) memorize a recipe to save my life. Good Eats changed everything.

Alton Brown had a background in children's television, and decided to apply that approach to a cooking show.* Instead of simply saying "this meal will taste great, here's how to make it," he goes into weird Sesame Street-style digressions into the science behind things like the "Mailard Reaction" (how the browned crust on a burger or steak happens and why it's delicious) or why different oils get used for different things.

Once the science, chemistry and physics of cooking started making sense to me, I quickly became a pretty goddamned good chef (if I do say so myself). I think this will have a similar effect on your fears — once you get how it all works you won't be afraid of fucking up.

After you've covered the basics with Alton, try http://www.cookingforengineers.com and Modernist Cuisine

* In fact, he didn't even know how to cook; he had the idea, took two years of classes, then made the pitch to the networks.