I have a single-serve French press that I bought off of Amazon for about $20. I use the Keurig machine as a source of hot water occasionally (don't put in the k-cup). But there are other sources of hot water if they take that away.
And I discovered that, perhaps ironically, German coffee tastes absolutely delicious when brewed in a French press.
My work does as well. However, I roast, grind, and brew my own coffee all at home instead. Immediately upon finishing the brew, the coffee is poured into a 12-cup Thermos vacuum flask, the kind with a nice button pressure spout. With this, I get the benefit of drinking a cup or two before work, and the rest sits on my desk throughout the day, still piping hot when I'm ready for a cup.
You're obviously poking fun, but for anyone who hasn't looked into it, roasting beans is surprisingly easy. I use an air popcorn popper ($20 at your favorite supermarket) and buy green (unroasted) beans for ~$6/pound, or ~1/4 the cost of comparable roasted beans. And they're guaranteed fresh!
I order my beans from Sweet Maria's, roasted with a Whirley-Pop on the stove. It's relaxing; the various aromas throughout the roasting process fill the entire house. The whole process takes about fifteen minutes, and the coffee is the best I've ever had.
I've been cold brewing my coffee. I dump a bunch of grounds in a big jar and pour water over them. After a couple of days I pour it through the funnel-filter I use for home brewing. Each day for the next few days I mix the 1/3 dark coffee with 2/3 water, pop it in the microwave for 3 minutes and enjoy.
Cold brew is much lower acid and less bitter than hot brewed, and much less "plastic" flavored than the Keurig at work.
I used to roast my beans in a skillet on my charcoal grill. It gave them a nice smoky flavor. I haven't done that in a while. (Too much effort.)
I forgo the coffee machine at work and brew my own as well, but just brew a fresh cup on demand, hobo style. Keep grinder, beans and vacuum sealer in an unused kitchen drawer. I never had much luck with thermoses. They seem to "cook" the coffee and give it a burnt, unfresh flavor after a while. Do you run into that?