Ask HN: Life advice for 40yo Web Dev, single, $500k savings

[artofstart]

Today i read the thread by the 25 year old web dev with 25k savings (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8019558). And i thought: Damn! Im in exactly the same situation as this guy. Only that Im almost twice as old and that my savings are more then 10 times of his. I would love to hear the opinions of you guys about this situation. So I finally made an account here, so I can post my version.

Just as the other poster, Im in Europe, come from a webdev/entrepreneur background and made some money with my startup. I was pretty introverted and socialy awkward my whole life, but teached myself a lot about social dynamics lately. So finally, I have some success with girls :-) But I cannot find any buddies for my lifestyle (go out, meet girls, talk about business, travel..). Everybody I meet is employed, has a relationship, is too shy to try new stuff. And for some reason, I completely suck when it comes to friendship.

Anybody here who is/was in a similar situation?

[somestranger]

Where are you located? And how many languages do you speak?

Here's a very specific plan:

Move to Barcelona. Once established there, try to find a job with either Computacenter, or Sellbytel Spain. They are usually always looking for people with good computer skills and that speak at least 3 languages (or 2 if you don't speak Spanish).

They have a very nice office atmosphere, and a lot of cool people from other countries work for them. You'll make plenty of acquaintances rather fast, and the lowest level jobs (I take it money is not a concern for you, right?) have a lot of free time (Unless you are unlucky and get a job in one of the help desk with the most volume of calls) when in the office, that would allow you to do some work on the side if needed.

I worked for them 2003 - 2006, and boy was that fun (If you do follow this plan, try not to get promoted: not worth the money ;) )

Have fun!

[artofstart]

The thing is: I find employment very boring. I could never sit on my ass and do stuff for a company. And I usualy dont click with people who are employed. I dont like all the stuff these people are into. I have absolutely no interest in talking about politics, sports, gossip, gardening, family and whatnot. Im interested in girls, startups, coding, philosophy...

[shock]

We seem to have a similar mindset and interests. Contact info is in my profile -- drop me a line so we can chat (there's no contact info in your profile). I plan to participate in the MongolRally, take a look, perhaps it might be your cup of tea, too.

[shadowcats]

You seem like an interesting fella. Wanna get in touch over email and bounce around some ideas and favorite blogs and such?

[artofstart]

Sure! I will send you a mail to the address in your profile.

[infiniteseeker]

We share similar interests. What did you do to get better with girls? What did you read? what steps did you follow? It is commendable that you did that

[artofstart]

If you give me some contact information, I can send you some infos on that.

[infiniteseeker]

Appreciate it. Please email me at infiniteseeker at gmail

[NicoJuicy]

I'm kinda in the same situation, only i'm starting a business, got 80-90 k. in the bank and i'm 27 yrs old, i did parties, but i don't want to commit myselve to a relationship - had a long term relationship... I want to travel (but that's hard when starting a business)... Never travelled a lot in my life.

I already have the property to live, but i need to demolish the old house first and then set a new one on top (then i'll have debts :) ).

Working on a full time job and i'm starting my business after my normal working hours (so it's kinda busy ).. I like working for myselve, because my current employer is old-skool.. Their money-making application is still written in VB6, that probably explains my point with old-skool :)

I speak 3 languages (someone asked you): Dutch, French and English. I also understand German (mostly)

[cameron91]

I have a similar background, however, I went through a lot of social anxiety my teenage years and somehow converted to being more extroverted my college years.

www.meetup.com is a good site (also check lifehack.org they have good articles on how to get the self esteem to get your foot int eh door). Also I'm always looking for new connects on LinkedIn if you're into that.

www.linkedin.com/in/cameronbradford/

[artofstart]

Sorry, Im not on linkedin.

[dylanhassinger]

You should join the Dynamic Circle, the membership community behind TropicalMBA. It is full of ballers all around the world.

http://tropicalmba.com

With your savings, I would take Dave Ramsey's advice and invest it in stable growth stock mutual funds, and then not touch it. You can use the interest to fund your retirement - hell you could probably retire right now.

[bonsai]

Forget about daily job.

Life is short. Just live your life to the fullest. Travel around the world and do what you like. You'll meet awesome people down the road that's for sure.

[the906]

Become an architect! Sorta serious, go google digital fabrication. Your'e good at programming but young in the realm of architecture. Be the next zah hadid!

[b_t_s]

invest in a high quality dividend index fund(DVY for example) and retire. You ought to be able to get over 1k EUR a month no problem. Might not sound like a lot in the EU, but you can travel or live very comfortably most places in Asia, Africa, and Central/South America on that and be completely free to pursue your interests.

[artofstart]

Do you live in one of these countries?

[ada1981]

I work with Silicon Valley founders & CEO types on Intimacy as a Spirtual Path. It's a post-pickup view. I spent a decade studying with the top guru's and realized what an empty existence it was. I know work with guys to create visionary partnership with amazing women. I'd be happy to give you a free deep dive session with me, as I've done for a number of Hacker News readers.. [e-mail]

[not_a_test_user]

Move to South America or Asia and live off your savings for the rest of your life. Unlimited time for hobbies!

[artofstart]

Good point. I at least have to check out these places to see if i like it.

[digitalzombie]

I... don't have much of a saving. I save just enough to take a year off to learn Android and move toward that field hopefully soon.

During that year, I've worked my ass off with girls mostly doing pick up artist kind of deal. I have a few friends are really prominent in this circle.

Since my funding is drying up, I've given up on improving my pick up skill, I've attain a decent level right now, but for now I'm working my ass on studying android and getting a job in it.

I've never had a problem with friends even with my horrible introvertness. I had problems keeping them because of my lack of keeping in touch skills. It's getting better though.

I'm 28.

> But I cannot find any buddies for my lifestyle (go out, meet girls, talk about business, travel..).

You can't find buddies to fit all aspect of your life style. I find that you need friends that fit certain aspect so you have multiple group.

I have university and highschool friends to just hang out and just interpersonal talk and maybe programming. I have another set to just talk about programming.

I also have another social group of friends that I go out and do pick up with. In general these group of friends aren't wealthy, who am I to complain? Ha, but they're mostly broke with deadend job but they sacrifice wealth for chasing girls. Well at least that's just my observation, I tried to balance both but well it's a tough.

edit:

If you really need to find buddies to chase girls, you can try to find a pick up community.

[artofstart]

Yes, I met a couple of guys from the pick up community. But I had to travel to meet them and they where not very dedicated or experienced. They where impressed with my skills as I was way better in attracting girls then them. And it was nice for me to have company. But all in all it was not enough to build a friendship. They where much younger then me, we had no mutual interests apart from girls and they where not really dedicated in that field either.

[japhyr]

I hope that you can start to see women as people with whom you can form meaningful relationships, rather than seeing them as "girls" that you need to "pick up".

[artofstart]

Of the things I wrote, what makes you think I do not form meaningful relationships?

[japhyr]

The "pick up" mindset implies a number of things about the kinds of relationships "pick up artists" have with women:

- Calling them "girls" implies they are young and not really in the adult world, and not on an equal level with "men".

- The phrase "pick up" implies that women are objects, to be "picked up", not to be viewed as equals.

- The whole pick up mindset turns dating into a game that men are out to win, rather than it being about finding someone you can build a relationship with.

- The word "dedicated" in this context implies a disturbing commitment to this approach to dealing with women.

I'm responding because my comment was sincere. I hope that people who get into the pick up mindset can recognize the shallowness of that approach, and move on to forming more respectful and lasting relationships with women.

[artofstart]

Neither did I use the term "pick up" in relation to what I do, nor did I imply seeing women as objects. Thats why I asked you to refer to what I wrote.

As for the dedication to become good (which mainly means more self secure and understanding) in the interactions with young beautiful women: Yeah! I would love to meet other guys who are into this. It seems to go against some old fashioned worldview you hold. My reply to this is: Get rid of values that have been drummed into you and start listening to your own feelings!