[serf]

petition to add word 'pivot'.

countdown until an addon with 'cloud', 'disrupt' , and 'pivot' functionality initiated.

[nnnnni]

Let's add some more:

  lean
  vertical
  arena
  ninja
  rockstar

It'd be nice to have a plugin that masks all of the lame business-speak on the internet...

[ffn]

You need to suggest what those words should map to, otherwise, what are we suppose to do with them? Map them to bullshit also? That would make the article not necessarily make sense.

I propose the following:

lean -> no money

startup -> small business

disrupt -> survive

vertical -> business

arena -> business

ninja -> obedient intern

rockstar -> young and naive

growth-hackers -> salesmen

cloud -> rental servers

social media -> facebook clone

analytics -> number crunching

Consider the following sentence translation:

"We are a lean cloud-based startup looking to disrupt the analytics arena in the social media vertical, we are looking for growth-hackers who are also ninja programmers and rockstar coders."

Maps to:

"We are a no-money rental-server-based small business looking to survive the number crunching business in the facebook clone business, we are looking for salesmen who are also obedient intern programmers and young and naive coders."

[yellowapple]

But I already have "cloud" mapped to "butt". I'm conflicted now.

[krapp]

closures to the rescue...

    var dict = {
            'disrupt': 'bullshit',
            'growth hacking': 'marketing',
            'rockstar': 'arrogant jerk',
            'ninja': '2cool4u',
            'guru': 'knowitall',
            'lean': 'cheap',
            'startup': 'small business',
            'social media': 'facebook clone',
            'FREE': 'free',
            'cloud': (function () {
                var a = [
                    'rental servers',
                    'butt'
                ];
                return a[Math.floor(Math.random() * a.length)];
            }) ()
        };

[autodidakto]

How about downcase all instances of FREE?