[conductr]

> Imagine walking through life and everything is clear, obvious, easy to process and having to watch humanity make stupid choices over and over and over again when the answers have been long known...

I don’t claim to be book smart or have a high IQ or whatever but I feel this way about small things that I feel are common sense. It’s maddening to me to watch people fumble around. Or do X when obviously it will result in -Y a bad thing. I really have learned to just not vocalize it, most of the time. It’s especially unhealthy for my close family relationships as I just see so much of it that I could nag them to death.

[ryandrake]

One of the things I try to teach my kid is: You are going to have to deal with the fact that there are deeply stupid people all around you, without it affecting your mental health. Those stupid people might be in a position of power over you, they might be other kids in school (or coworkers, later), they might be the president of the country, they might be your neighbor, or they might just be obstacles on the road on your way to work every day. You need to learn how to cope and accept this, gracefully deal with them, and how to protect yourself from their stupidity when it might affect you. It's emotional regulation that smart people need to learn or they go crazy.

[ben_w]

A lesson which I wish I had learned as a kid; I had examples to work from, but nobody taught me how to deal correctly. To cope and accept without it eating me up.

I'm still not sure how to deal with people being not only wrong but either too dumb or too arrogant to change how wrong they are. (Which is of course me being wrong and unable to change…)

[apsurd]

i hope you don’t actually refer to these others as “deeply stupid people” to your presumably young kids.

[ryandrake]

Of course not. I'm translating for HN

[jaggederest]

The older I get, the more I realize that individual variation in humans is truly enormous. Any trait you could pick is much more widely distributed than any individual human can see from their perspective.

Just the other day I was watching a video on youtube, of someone absolutely struggling at a task that had a built-in checklist, verification steps, pictures, and basically (in my opinion) perfect guidance. This is something where, if I was doing it, I would just... do the steps. in order. and it would work, probably... 99.9% of the time, the first time, and relatively quickly, to boot.

I watched them fail to succeed like... 5 times in a row. At no point did they actually complete all the steps and verification in order. And this was a reasonable, intelligent, thoughtful, thorough person. They just could not follow a checklist, visual or written instructions, probably to literally save their life.

[TonyStr]

>video on youtube, of someone absolutely struggling at a task that had a built-in checklist

This sounds like Bog who records himself setting up Linux distros or configuring software

[maerF0x0]

It certainly doesnt help that 50% of the population is below 100 IQ, and something like 15% of the population are below 85.

[pjm331]

i feel fairly certain everyone has some set of activities or tasks they feel this way about

my wife and i have two non-overlapping sets haha you can imagine how that plays out

[conductr]

Same wrt my wife and I. She’s quite clumsy and to my assertion doesn’t always think things through. So it’s a bad combination for “accidents” to always happen which I think are very preventable and quite obvious to occur using her approach. A lot of it is just mental errors that I don’t make, but it’s not that I’m perfect I probably just make different mistakes (I think less volume too ;)

Yesterday she literally failed miserably at a single task. Her mission was grocery shopping. She drove to grocery store, shopped, and came home and left the groceries in the car. Didn’t realize it until she was making breakfast the next morning and there was no milk.

I see this two ways; 1) I would never make that mistake 2) I know her quite well, partners for over 20 years now, and this kind of thing is just her normal par for the course type of “oops”. The second part is what frustrates me the most, I like to learn from my mistakes and she treats it as a given that she’s just spacey/dimwit by nature and leans into everything being an “accident”. Obviously not healthy if I treat her like a child so I just watch her fumble through life and try to have a sense of humor about it all.

[TonyStr]

Well, how hard should you beat yourself up over a mistake like that? If I forgot my groceries in the car, I'd just laugh about it being a silly one-time mistake. But if it happened twice I'd take it more seriously, and maybe make a note or something to remind me. I'm sure everyone has made some silly mistake like forgetting a jacket at a party or leaving a phone at home sometime. I think we should be a little extra forgiving toward others, because we'd so easily forgive our own mistakes

[morserer]

Does your wife have ADHD? She may not be physically capable of learning from her mistakes without the use of frameworks built to address the disorder.

If she's unsure, it's worth looking into. The immediate relief available by way of the strategies that documentation on the disorder provides can be life-changing and don't require medication nor therapy in order to be put to use.