Same wrt my wife and I. She’s quite clumsy and to my assertion doesn’t always think things through. So it’s a bad combination for “accidents” to always happen which I think are very preventable and quite obvious to occur using her approach. A lot of it is just mental errors that I don’t make, but it’s not that I’m perfect I probably just make different mistakes (I think less volume too ;)
Yesterday she literally failed miserably at a single task. Her mission was grocery shopping. She drove to grocery store, shopped, and came home and left the groceries in the car. Didn’t realize it until she was making breakfast the next morning and there was no milk.
I see this two ways; 1) I would never make that mistake 2) I know her quite well, partners for over 20 years now, and this kind of thing is just her normal par for the course type of “oops”. The second part is what frustrates me the most, I like to learn from my mistakes and she treats it as a given that she’s just spacey/dimwit by nature and leans into everything being an “accident”. Obviously not healthy if I treat her like a child so I just watch her fumble through life and try to have a sense of humor about it all.
Well, how hard should you beat yourself up over a mistake like that? If I forgot my groceries in the car, I'd just laugh about it being a silly one-time mistake. But if it happened twice I'd take it more seriously, and maybe make a note or something to remind me. I'm sure everyone has made some silly mistake like forgetting a jacket at a party or leaving a phone at home sometime. I think we should be a little extra forgiving toward others, because we'd so easily forgive our own mistakes
Does your wife have ADHD? She may not be physically capable of learning from her mistakes without the use of frameworks built to address the disorder.
If she's unsure, it's worth looking into. The immediate relief available by way of the strategies that documentation on the disorder provides can be life-changing and don't require medication nor therapy in order to be put to use.
Yesterday she literally failed miserably at a single task. Her mission was grocery shopping. She drove to grocery store, shopped, and came home and left the groceries in the car. Didn’t realize it until she was making breakfast the next morning and there was no milk.
I see this two ways; 1) I would never make that mistake 2) I know her quite well, partners for over 20 years now, and this kind of thing is just her normal par for the course type of “oops”. The second part is what frustrates me the most, I like to learn from my mistakes and she treats it as a given that she’s just spacey/dimwit by nature and leans into everything being an “accident”. Obviously not healthy if I treat her like a child so I just watch her fumble through life and try to have a sense of humor about it all.