[GavCo]

This is cute, but in all seriousness it would be much more effective to shout "I'm a winner"

Research:

- https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3354773/ – Low self-esteem + rejection hurts self-control

- https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2007_Power... – Self-criticism predicts less goal progress

- https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9916102/ – Social exclusion slows inhibitory control

- https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1191... – Low teen self-esteem → poorer self-control

- https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8768475/ – Meta-analysis links shame to regulation drops

- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28810473/ – Self-compassion boosts self-regulation

- https://www.researchgate.net/publication/312138882_Self-Cont... – Ego threats deplete self-control resources

- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21632968/ – Self-criticism tied to worse goal progress

- https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-025-96476-8 – Low self-respect → low self-control → problems

Remember to be kind to yourself.

[hodder]

But the point is you aren't a winner if you are unlocking social media. You are opening the gate to loserdom. I'm not sure how the I'm a winner concept would apply here using one of the four methods of operant conditioning.

The research stands, but the practical application of his app is based on a Positive Punishment operant conditioning.

[haswell]

> you aren't a winner if you are unlocking social media. You are opening the gate to loserdom

That is not a psychologically healthy way to frame this.

And I think it’s a stretch to say that screaming “I’m a loser” is positive punishment, which seems just as likely to reinforce negative self beliefs that lead to the outcomes described in the parent comment’s research and opposite of what the user presumably wants.

To your point, just flipping this around to “I’m a winner” doesn’t seem quite right either. But more importantly, reinforcing the idea that “I’m a loser” seems counterproductive either way.

[janalsncm]

> And I think it’s a stretch to say that screaming “I’m a loser” is positive punishment

A positive punishment is giving the subject something they don’t like. For example corporeal punishment.

A negative punishment is taking away something the subject does like. For example food.

Importantly punishments need to happen after the unwanted behavior. So being punished before the behavior occurs doesn’t make any sense.

[haswell]

> Importantly punishments need to happen after the unwanted behavior. So being punished before the behavior occurs doesn’t make any sense.

Also importantly, punishment as a mechanism for changing behavior is generally considered less effective than reinforcement approaches, which tend to be more effective and carry fewer downsides (like internalizing the idea that I'm a loser).

[nemomarx]

Positive in the conditioning sense just means "something you have to do" where a negative punishment would be something being removed. It doesn't specify if the outcome is bad or good

[haswell]

Fair. I was conflating this with positive reinforcement, and the nuance of the terminology got a bit mixed up.

To your last point, I think the conclusion remains similar. Even if yelling “I’m a loser” qualifies as “something you have to do”, it seems unlikely to be an effective “punishment” in that framework for the reasons explored above.

[asdf6969]

> That is not a psychologically healthy way to frame this.

But lying to yourself is so much worse. Eventually you won’t hold the illusion anymore and you’ll crash hard. It’s better to be honest and grounded in reality if you want any improvement to be sustainable

[doublerabbit]

Just because surveys say X = Y it doesn't necessary mean it has to apply to everyone's mindset.

[haswell]

In practice, I have never encountered a person who benefits from such negative self beliefs in the long term, or anyone who would claim they were beneficial. My perspective on this is driven by many years of real world experience with addiction and related communities, and more personal exploration of the negative bias than I can quantify.

There’s a good reason addiction recovery is now often focused on the underlying issues of shame and other negative self beliefs. They tend to be at the root of the issue, despite being the default reaction people feel towards themselves due to social conditioning.

[doublerabbit]

Your not wrong, I do agree. But for a pet-project, it's a bit of fun? Or should we just face it.

Everyone is a loser for using social media?

[haswell]

This just doesn’t land for me.

Quite a bit of social media use happens for perfectly good reasons. Organizing local events, finding and attending local events, meeting people in other regions who care about a common cause, etc.

What tends to distress people is that social media is also a toxic hellscape that simultaneously stresses them out and addicts them by playing on their evolutionary instincts and needs for social connection while feeding them engagement bait.

And so unplugging is a common topic these days, because people are trying to live better lives.

I get that it’s a pet project, but if this pet project was aimed at alcoholics trying to get sober, I think people would look at it in a different light because people take alcoholism seriously, and reinforcing negative loops that actually perpetuate alcoholism would be justifiably criticized.

I personally don’t think we’re taking social media harms seriously enough collectively, although there are signs that people are catching up. So while I think this project comes from the right place and I’m all for having a bit of fun, I think it’s actually quite problematic in its current state given the issue it attempts to address, and I don’t think the fact that it’s intended to be fun should shield it from the feedback it’s getting.

> Or should we just face it.

The sentence following this is just objectively false to a degree that I don’t even see the humor in it. It’s schoolyard stuff that perpetuates the problem.

[latexr]

Of course not everyone. That goes without saying, everyone is different and you’ll always find someone who is an exception. But when you build something for other people to use, it is useful to understand what is the most common mindset for your audience.

[latexr]

> To your point, just flipping this around to “I’m a winner” doesn’t seem quite right either. But more importantly, reinforcing the idea that “I’m a loser” seems counterproductive either way.

Maybe the solution would be to have to shout something embarrassing but not deprecating towards your own self-worth. Like “I eat spaghetti through my nose” or “my poop comes out really soft”. You’d certainly avoid using social media in public.

[haswell]

I think the issue is more broad though.

While a “punishment” that involves calling oneself a loser is a problem, the entire approach of punishment-based learning has given way to reinforcement approaches because they tend to be more effective in the long term without the negative effects of punishment-based approaches.

To put this another way, using punishment to stop using social media is probably not a good approach either way. Yelling “I’m a loser” is just one of the worst variants of this specific approach.

[stared]

Yes - but then you go into the vicious cycle. Something in the line of The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry:

Why are you drinking? — the little prince asked.

- In order to forget — replied the drunkard.

- To forget what? — inquired the little prince, who was already feeling sorry for him.

- To forget that I am ashamed — the drunkard confessed, hanging his head.

- Ashamed of what? — asked the little prince who wanted to help him.

- Ashamed of drinking! — concluded the drunkard, withdrawing into total silence.

---

What helps is self-forgiveness and being gentle towards oneself. (I also was in the mode of guilt-tripping myself; and still, I do that often. But it does not help.)

[jigarjain]

I imagine what the OP meant is that when you feel you are wasting time on Social Media, if you say "I am a winner / I am better than this" (or something more positive), it will block the social media for you. So basically the reverse.

[9rx]

What suggests that shouting "I am a winner" is less annoying than shouting "I am a loser"? In fact, not just less annoying, but it has to be pleasant as in that scenario you would have to scream it while you are already struggling with impulse control. Even the slightest reason to not to do so would see you not do it in that type of situation.

[packersville]

“Don't speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn't know the difference. Words are energy and they cast spells, that's why it's called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself, and you can change your life.”

- Bruce Lee

[ljm]

If you’re addicted to scrolling social media then you’ll just get used to calling yourself a loser to get another fix. Or you just uninstall the extension.

There needs to be a healthier alternative to that replaces the social media habit, that is reinforced by enjoying it. I do this by reading books I wouldn’t normally read, which also gives me a reason to browse indie bookshops.

[janalsncm]

Punishments need to follow unwanted behavior, not precede them. This is a technically interesting demo but it isn’t effective.

[snek_case]

Then the command should probably be "I summon you to open the gate to loserdom!"

[jlongr]

You're on social media.

[jerf]

I have on some occasions been tempted to wire up a shock collar to myself (or equivalent) and do some experiment for things like not visiting social media websites during certain times, but I find myself concerned that I may be reaching way, way further down the metaphorical "brain stack" than I really intend with that and could do some seriously weird things to myself in the process. So far I've always judged that risk as greater than the reward.

Yelling "I'm a loser" too much reminds me of that, though on a different level of the "brain stack". I get the sentiment, and I understand the somewhat playful intent, but quite seriously I'd suggest something more neutral at the very least. Maybe it's completely harmless, but that's clearly the best case scenario, and it goes down hill fast after that. "First, do no harm" strikes me as relevant here, and important as ever.

[egypturnash]

hmm, maybe

"social media is for losers, and I'm a winner!"

might be both comedic and positive?

Maybe that's a little too close to the WINNERS DON'T USE DRUGS! splash screens that dominated the video games of my youth. We all snickered at those and I don't think it made a bit of difference. Dunno. Heck of a thing to holler when you're on the bus or whatever before you can get your fix, that's for sure.

[toss1]

For sure, important to be kind to yourself.

But screaming "I'm a winner" doesn't do it either, and is perhaps even more undermining

Everyone knows if you yourself have to say "I'm randomPositiveAttribute", whether it is "winner", "genius", "brilliant", "good-looking", etc., you are NOT that — you are just a loser trying to tell everyone you are somehow a winner.

Perhaps the best thing to yell is the most straightforward — "Unlock Social Media Now!". It doesn't overtly characterize you, it honestly exposes your weakness, which is probably a more powerful shaming de-motivator.

[serial_dev]

Then it would be even simpler to build an app, because if you shout "I'm a winner", the extension doesn't need to do anything at all, just keep everything blocked as before...

Be kind to yourself, but think through the problem before sending a week worth of research articles.

[janalsncm]

It could work if they were rewarded for not opening social media. Otherwise that doesn’t make sense.

[patcon]

If only there was an API to only allow closing an app on a specific condition.

Then you could make it so the pain was in leaving to go back to other work, so you'd enter knowing it would not be an easy exit. (But you'd get to yell self-affirming things on exit :) )