Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by fratis 5044 days ago
A tip for people writing on corporate blogs: let us know who you are up front. Whether there's a byline under the title or a short intro sentence/paragraph preceding the article, knowing who you are gives the reader a way to frame what your story.

Because the tech industry is so heterosexual male-dominated, when I read that the author was engaged to the CEO, I first assumed I had misunderstood, then I thought the author was a gay man. Only upon reading further did I find that the author was a woman.

That confusion could've been cleared up in the first paragraph in which Michelle writes, "I’ve picked up quite a bit just by being around our CEO, Kyle, for the past few years." Why not tell us here why she's "been around" Kyle for so long? Further confusing the point, she mentions later that she's "friends with all of the founders." And engaged to the CEO might've been a helpful addition.

This kind of information completely changes the context of the advice – negotiating with a stranger is a completely different dynamic than negotiating with someone you (I assume) share a bed with.

6 comments

That bit of information about them being engaged was just kind of sprinkled into the middle of the article as if it was of no significance.
Yeah, it completely changes the dynamic of the situation. I can't imagine many other people are really going through a salary negotiation with their fiance as the other party.
I usually let someone else handle financial negotiations if I referred someone into a company (even if I'd otherwise be the one doing that), unless it's a totally mechanical calculation. I'm not sure how I would do that with a fiancee.
The whole post/situation was fucking bizarre.
Also, Michelle mentioned that she was "friends with all of the founders of Keen." No small detail there.
Thanks for the feedback. I realized the article was confusing so I added an intro.

However, I feel no need to mention my gender or sexuality when introducing myself. If I didn't have a clearly female name, should I have said "Hi, I'm Pat, and I'm a female in the tech industry"?

Ahh, yikes. Sorry. I should've been clearer.

I didn't mean (though it certainly sounded that way) that it's necessary for the reader to know your gender. Looking back, in fact, I realize that I weakened my position by even mentioning it (especially in the vague, imprecise way that I did).

I brought up gender because it was confusing (and I, along with other readers here, felt misled) when you – very casually, I might add – mentioned you were engaged to the CEO, up until which point I'd been under the false impression that you were a man.

So, to answer your question: no, you wouldn't have needed to inform the reader of your gender if you had an ambiguous name because what's really important here is not that you're a woman but that you're engaged to the CEO. Whether you're a man or a woman is irrelevant: all that is relevant is that you have a close personal history with the guy you're negotiating with, a fact which, again, completely skews the context of the article.

Cool. Do you think the intro I added resolves the confusion?

"Hi, I’m Michelle. I recently left my job as a technical consulting manager and joined my best friends and my fiancé, Kyle, at Keen.io (I wrote about that here <link>). This is the story of how I negotiated my compensation."

This made things much clearer for me. I just read the blog post for the first time and wasn't confused.
Totally. :)
Yes, thanks. Great article!
Yes, much better. Thanks.
I came here to say the same thing. I had to do a CTRL+F to search for "Michelle" to see if I had missed where "Me:" and "Kyle:" turned into "Michelle:" and "Kyle:".
I wish good luck to all involved with this company. I am not sure if it's a good idea to work so closely with your fiance/wife/husband in a start up. If things don't work out, there will be more than a job that's lost.
Yeah, there will be both jobs lost.

While I can see hedging your bets by having your spouse work a normal job (and possibly get you on their health insurance), if a failed startup is going to doom your marriage, your marriage is already doomed.

Also: if your relationship is strong, and the working relationship is hurting the personal relationship (or vice versa), one of the two will just find another job. People change jobs for their relationship all. the. time. --- for instance, almost every time one spouse wants to move out of state for a better job.
Well said, tptacek.
Phil - I agree :)
That makes little sense. If the domain is dominated by heterosexual males, it's quite obvious his spouse must be a woman.
I assume, I missed something obvious here. Just curious - What?