[plantwallshoe]

You’ll get much more out of a good therapist than a book.

A good therapist isn’t just there to help you work through past trauma or personal issues, they can also help with all your interpersonal interactions and relationships.

[solardev]

I dunno, the therapists I've been to (half a dozen or so of them) weren't anywhere as helpful as some of the books recommended in this thread (like How to Win Friends and Influence People or Nonviolent Communications).

They often tried to hyperfocus on whatever they saw as issues in my life, or else parrot and rephrase back to me what I told them, with very little in the way of concrete actionables.

The books were dramatically more helpful and totally changed my life.

[runjake]

Counterpoint: I've only been to two therapists (via word of mouth) and they were both far more helpful than HTWF&IP and NVC, even despite how highly awesome those books are, and everyone should read them repeatedly.

They asked me intelligent questions designed to help me come to my own conclusions through reasoning, and they provided me with actionable activities for growth.

[solardev]

Maybe I need better therapists, then! Wish there was a good way to identify the good ones... that goes for all healthcare, actually. It always seems like such a gamble.

[runjake]

It is. I think I lucked out because I found mine through recommended word of mouth. It's definitely a matter of personality fit, though.

My life has been pretty successful, and my mental health has generally been pretty good[1] in my adult years, but one therapist, in particular was super, super instrumental in getting me to both learn about myself and reframe things.

1. No depression or other significant disorders. Most I get these days is the blues.

[anon373839]

Yep. Best analogy I’ve heard: it’s like stepping through your thought/emotional/behavior patterns with a debugger, but with a pro to help you spot the bugs.

[mplewis]

Yes. Please go to therapy.

If you need help finding a therapist, PsychologyToday has a great search on their website.