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> Basically, he went to a therapist and they told him to confront himself with increasingly uncomfortable social situations. It was horrible but he managed to do it. This does sound like survivorship bias, because you hear about the success stories where people successfully confront their issues and overcome them, not the people who fail miserably until they can no longer keep trying that approach. You also don't hear about people who fail and feel worse because the only things they've heard are success stories and that make them feel more broken. Edit: perhaps using "survivorship bias" (it also originally said confirmation bias, it was early, my bad) is too strong of a suggestion here, it's just that people will react to different situations differently, not every approach will work for everyone and if nothing else, it's nice to remember that. I went through that in university, decided to go to a tabletop game evening with complete strangers, had a breakdown, went back to the dorms and cried. Tried going to a few other hangouts, same outcome, feeling worse every single time, not better, which lead to lots of negative thoughts. I guess it might have been committing to doing too much, but the people were pretty chill and I still couldn't do it. Same with things like random small talk. I guess I was lucky enough to have a group of friends that I opened up to and eventually got better at certain social settings - nowadays basically everything work related and things like giving presentations is a non-issue, where I feel like I have a "goal" and the terms for that social interaction are well understood, versus freeform interaction with strangers, that I've never handled well. > After a few months and many more challenges, the therapist told him: "Do not, under any circumstance, accept isolation again. That will drive even a sociable person into introversion. Avoid it like the plague. There will be minor set backs, but we are now all equipped with the knowledge and techniques to overcome them - along with the memory that we've conquered it before." Every time we face the fear, and decide to go through with it anyway, we become a little bit stronger. Some people get stronger, others get worse. I'm not saying that this isn't worth a shot, it probably is - but also consider seeing a professional who can advise on different things to try, identify patterns of thinking that could become an issue and how to address those, or possibly even certain medication should your brain chemistry need a little help to function better. Possibly even multiple healthcare professionals or different types of medication (if needed), until you find something that actually works for you. Guess this is a bit of a vulnerable moment, but at the same time I don't entirely buy the expectation that exposure therapy of this sort will work for everyone and always, or that people should go in believing it will. The advice of gradually ramping up seems good, as does actually trying to do something (anything) about it, though. |
> This does sound like confirmation bias, because you hear about the success stories where people successfully confront their issues and overcome them, not the people who fail miserably until they can no longer keep trying that approach. You also don't hear about people who fail and feel worse because the only things they've heard are success stories and that make them feel worse.
Well ... exposure therapy is an actual therapeutic technique that is used to successfully treat social anxiety and is usually one of the first methods tried, often as part of a CBT process, so let's not all jump on the "confirmation bias" band wagon. An anecdote is not data but an anecdote doesn't magically somehow prove the opposite.
As a fellow SAD sufferer, I'm trying not to be too harsh, but you clearly have a serious version of SAD, so applying your situation to this self-help site is a bit over the top. Yes, this may not work for a particular individual, but if you are having breakdowns you shouldn't be self managing your disorder anyway.