[drycobbler]

Call the mental health crisis line, please.

You don’t need to stop cannabis because it’s bad or you are bad. Stopping cannabis will help you achieve your goal of a stable living situation with stable employment. Please try it.

[clubm8]

I'm not on cannabis? I feel like you're telling me to not use things that help.

(I regret not keeping the alaprazolam script, but... when you take that drug, you're set up for twice the anxiety when it wears off)

I'm angry and frustrated I'm economically precarious, and have folks like you say "call a crisis line" when I tried that prior -- I was forced to rely on my (abusive) family for support.

Do you want to extend help, or be adversarial?

I can be adversarial if you prefer that.

Or maybe... crazy idea, someone connects me with a recruiter :-)

[drycobbler]

I definitely want to extend help. If your interviewers see that your speech and thoughts are unusual, you won’t get a job. If you get a job, you won’t be able to keep it.

If your goal is to get a job and be housed, seeking mental help treatment can help you succeed in that goal.

[clubm8]

>If your goal is to get a job and be housed, seeking mental help treatment can help you succeed in that goal.

I have spoken to these places prior -- they did not do as they promised, it's why we replaced the myor.

I'd prefer to leave Pittsburgh if folks are going to insist I "get treatment" that consists of... listing off traumas to some woman who bills for speaking to me then goes off to spend it on things I never was able to afford up til our connecting.

>I definitely want to extend help. If your interviewers see that your speech and thoughts are unusual, you won’t get a job.

I'm on the autisti spectrum, I can do an interview.

In fact, I've had people question the autism due to charm.

My blood sugar is low, I skipped lunch due to lack of funds and it's raining here so I couldn't walk to the grocer I have a card for.

Keep in mind... I'm an edge case. I knew Vilerat. I worked for an EFF board member. I'm a literal dissident.

I'm worried folks are confussing... the kinds of anxiety and depression that stem from being bullied out of CDT in 2016 and into a violent home you never were able to escape from... and... the type of mental illness that is present even in happy times.

People like say, Richard Baumhaummers(sp?), who shot up the Indian grocer down the road from where I used to get my haircut... he didn't go to Waterfall and have a nice vodka mate. He didn't go to the Louvre.

He was all insane, all the time, in a way that wasn't due to drugs or alcohol.

I feel like people like you are not listening to me, that I am worried people are not interacting in good faith, and that I'm scared I will not react diplomatically to this pattern continuing.

[Nextgrid]

> I have spoken to these places prior -- they did not do as they promised, it's why we replaced the myor.

Sounds like you definitely made a name for yourself and even though the underlying morals of your activism might be good this doesn't lessen the impact on your local community so it might be that you are effectively "persona non grata" there?

> I'm on the autisti spectrum, I can do an interview.

I second what the parent comment said - your thoughts are indeed unusual based on your writings here.

> Keep in mind... I'm an edge case. I knew Vilerat. I worked for an EFF board member. I'm a literal dissident.

Don't know who that is, but either way being an edge-case and dissident isn't something to be proud of for someone in your situation. You need to sweep all of this under the carpet and not bring it up ever until you get back on track. Lie and make up a believable backstory if necessary.

> People like say, Richard Baumhaummers(sp?), who shot up the Indian grocer down the road from where I used to get my haircut... he didn't go to Waterfall and have a nice vodka mate. He didn't go to the Louvre. > He was all insane, all the time, in a way that wasn't due to drugs or alcohol. > I am worried people are not interacting in good faith, and that I'm scared I will not react diplomatically to this pattern continuing.

Bringing these things up is completely irrelevant and weird which would put people off. The last bit especially is unnecessary - what are you hoping to achieve with such a threat? Do you just want people to tell you what you want to hear and reaffirm your misguided thoughts? That might make you feel better but won't help you get off the streets.

Based on the above you absolutely have a communication problem (and maybe indeed a mental health problem that you should seek help for) and I think this might be the reason you've basically lost touch with everyone despite name-dropping some pretty famous companies you've been involved with?

[barrysteve]

His 'threat' is a desire for empathy and a call to action for intervention.

He can see the breakdown coming, it's self awareness and a fair warning of his feelings (to himself and others).

That's how it used to be.

[drycobbler]

> listing off traumas to some woman who bills for speaking to me

I think you would benefit greatly from a different kind of treatment, with an antipsychotic. Your comments remind me so much of a brilliant person in my family who was able return to his high-level FAANG job after beginning antipsychotic treatment.

[tornadofart]

I'm sorry, but what you just wrote makes very little sense for anyone reading this.

Please consider contacting a social worker. HN cannot help you with this type of issue.

[barrysteve]

Idk what everyone is saying. What you have written makes sense to me. They appear as if they don't want to be associated with you, something like that could be a little cruel..

I'd go to a Church that fits your beliefs and access their help.

It's worth noting that the culture changed, roughly in 2010ish. Anybody following sequential, ordered, rules, today, is being dragged down by it.

Your work to stop bad behaviour, is relatable to me, but the culture has dumped it.

Nobody said any of this, they just did it and then distanced themselves from everyone else.

Again I find what you're saying relatable, but that won't save you. Don't chase relationships (or social connections), people will choose family, friends and church over randoms, even known randoms.

It's basically the opposite culturally, of the world we grew up in.

You've done well to kick bad habits and stay sober while homeless. The upside is that you don't have anyone to pull you down... keep every last cent you make and get some 'housing' you can keep to yourself, like a car or a motorhome.

Memories will drag you down, into the depths, like an emotional vortex. Better memories can be painful.

[anakaine]

Whilst there is certainly value in some churches assistance programs, religion by and large is not set up to actually help people with mental illness, isolation, or self esteem issues. Whilst it's true they can provide some services, there are few actually qualified counsellors, rarely any referrals to agenda free assistance bodies, and certainly no trace of medical help. They give with one hand, and indoctrinate with the other, often perpetuating a different style of dependence. Be wary of this - it can be very hard to put these worms back in the can. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and one must be careful when vulnerable.

[barrysteve]

I mean food and maybe shelter.

There's massive overstating of this guy's mental health. He needs a decent meal and a hot shower and he'll be talking in straight sentences again.

I find your lack of faith.. disturbing.