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by derefr 1000 days ago
> they form group chats centered around trips that only one participant was on

It never occurred to me until now, but there's actually a somewhat-coherent "sharing philosophy" woven through many of Apple's products. It seems like Apple envisions a world where social networks and "broadcast"-sharing of content don't exist. In this world, when people want to "tell people" an update about their life, they share that update on a whitelist basis — first meticulously considering exactly the people they want to receive the update, and then pushing the shared item directly into those people's faces as a realtime push-notification-generating event, as if with the intent of starting a synchronous conversation. They may then later rope a few more people into the conversation, as they become relevant — but only on a strictly need-to-know basis. Doing this pings them as well, showing them the whole conversation so far — and they're expected to read back and keep up.

In other words, in "Dimension Apple", nobody has a parasocial desire for people they don't know to see their posts. People only share things with people they know; and even then, only certain friends get to see certain things. And those friends don't mind at all that you had a long conversation that you excluded them from, until you didn't.

Even more intriguingly, in "Dimension Apple", people seemingly only find out news about you because you've shared that news directly with them. No "following" someone; no copying messages from one conversation to another; no gossip, even.

I would say that real people don't work like this... but now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure that this is exactly how people in the upper class — people for whom "discretion" is core to their lifestyle — would prefer all their "sharing" be done.

9 comments

I think this is mostly how human communication worked until the internet era. Those who aren’t plugged into social media still operate this way - sharing directly with others. In real life, when people interact, they begin by asking “how are you?” Which is the opposite of social media.
I'm on no social media (besides this site). The number of times a day I have to say, "no, I didn't see [insert random event here]." Would honestly surprise you.

There is just an expectation in society today that you know everything that's going on in everyone's life. It's very, very strange to me. It's hard to explain why, but I get serious black mirror sort of vibes from it.

At least you get asked about those events. In my family I'm known as the guy who knows everything last: often conversations go like "He's been sad for two months now, but it's understandable – Why? What happened? – Well, you know, the break-up... – What? John broke up? I didn't even knew he had someone..."

So now, my mother (who lives on Facebook) usually calls me to let me know when she learns something she might deem important on Facebook. And I honestly appreciate the attention, it's good when you feel that people think about you. And it's usually important information she gives me, because we're not into gossip.

No one expects you to view social media all day. That are asking “did you see ___” because they want to tell you about it but first check you haven’t already seen it.
That's not how it goes. The conversations usually lead with them talking about something other people are doing, as if I have any idea what they are talking about. Then I ask them to explain the context. THEN they'll ask if I saw X on Facebook or Insta or whatever.
Social networks work a lot like mass-mailing your friends and relatives with postcards / greeting cards.

Also, the lack of gossip in "Dimension Apple" is a crucial distinction. You don't need a social network to spread news, if you know that everything you tell that one aunt is going to be repeated on every phone call she makes for the next two weeks. (And she makes a lot of phone calls.)

Well, this is how I live. I don't use any broadcast-based social media. The only form I consume would be YouTube or Twitch, I believe without any parasocial weirdness.

After I finish a trip (recently I went to Supai, AZ) I send little bundles of photos to different people via my phone very much like these screenshots.

It would feel a bit weird to me, because it looks like marketing myself and my ego. In blogs or social networks, people only check you if they want.
I think different people could do the same thing for different reasons. For me it's just about catching people up, and sometimes people return the favor.

Regarding social networks, though - people aren't exactly looking at your photos because they want to. Most social networks decide what you see, so the algorithm will put vacation photos in front of you even if you don't like that content.

I agree to some extent. When I had livejournal, it was more authentic. Back then, you always have been seeing everything chronologically, and I hoped my friends will tell me about their lives. Unfortunately, writing is not for everyone, people subscribe to other users, not only their friends now, and algorithm feeds won.
I feel that a line from this could be traced back to the era prior to ubiquitous social media, where the vast majority of sharing was happening over messengers like AIM, MSN, and Skype or via email, and if you go back Apple stuff at that point was fairly geared around sharing through iChat (AIM) or Mail.app.

There was a period earlier on where macOS and iOS had Facebook and Twitter posting built in where those got some airtime in promotions, but as the shine of social media wore off those integrations disappeared and their promotional material reverted to a world where sharing happened over the modern equivalent to iChat (iMessage) or maybe Mail.app.

> where the vast majority of sharing was happening over messengers

Arguable — mass-mailing async updates (think: postcards) about your life has been ubiquitous for as long as people have been going off and doing interesting things. This evolved into mass-emails. I was BCC'ed a lot of "wedding photos.zip" and "in paris.jpg"s emails in the 1990s; much more often than such a thing was ever directed at me by a friend or relative, let alone directed at me synchronously in a messenger app.

Remember also: messengers back in the 90s and early 2000s didn't have a concept of "server-buffered message sends." For a message to transmit over AIM/ICQ/MSN/etc, both people had to be online at the same time. If you were travelling — and so potentially in a separate time zone — messengers really didn't work very well as a way to send large image files. Until very late in the lives of their protocols, most of them didn't even support sending files!

All very true. My perspective is no doubt skewed by growing up with AIM/MSN and having become an adult and starting doing interesting things right around the time social media had begun to peak, a fair deal after the heyday of mailed postcards and BCC'd email threads.
Could this be because Apple doesn't run a social media service? On some levels, are their products/ services competing _against_ social media?

Or is this just part of Apple's (and many of its users') elitist and exclusivist mentality: they're better than everyone else, they don't need to interoperate with the rest of the world, and their sharing is reserved for the select.

(Not all Apple users are like that and probably not even the majority anymore, but it _is_ Apple's mentality, it was the dominant mentality among Mac users, and it's still common enough and OMG loudly pronounced enough by current Mac users.)

it's not Facebook, but iMessage and iCloud Photos are a social media service.
This is what I do. My only “social network” is group chats in messaging clients (and anonymous Internet forums).

Given how many more people lurk in places like Twitter than post, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is more common than extensive social network use (a little social network use is unavoidable—if my wife didn’t have a read-mostly Facebook account, I’d have to)

Stapling vacation photos to every light post in the world is what seems like the bizarro-world behavior, to me. Which is what social network posting is.

Even the forum (custom Perl, then phpnuke, then phpbb) I ran for friends in high school & college was set to no-public-registration and no visibility to unauthenticated users. Like… duh.

Modern social media’s what’s fucking weird, not what we do.

I think what you are describing is how most people use Google Photos, or perhaps Dropbox or iCloud, and I think this is the main way people share photos.
I doubt that anyone on Apple’s C suite has a personal Facebook or other social media. Once you get to a certain level of fame/wealth/corporate importance your social media output will go down or at least become not personal. Having a private social network makes a lot of sense for them. Might be better for everyone else too.
Wow - fascinating observation!

Feels to me similar to the “companies ship their org chart” concept.

Did this make anyone else feel old?