I don’t know of any teachers, who punish teenagers extra when they say they don’t know why they did something. Honestly, they’re just being honest. They really don’t know why they do impulsive things.
I dunno about teachers, but I definitely remember being a kid and adults having explosive reactions to my saying, "I don't know why."
I think, at least here in the States, we've improved our cultural understanding of how to appropriately talk to/discipline children since then, however.
I read alot. I probably see 5-10 new "theories" on how to raise children per year, and have for the past few decades.
I've never seen anything even resembling a "don't punish kids if they say they don't know why they misbehaved". I do remember being chastised for it when I was a child myself. And in the last 3 or 4 years, I've seen hints of a few psychological studies that have posited that people often don't know why they do things, but make up reasonings for their behavior after the fact.
But never has anyone put two and two together that I am aware of.
I could write books on the evidence I have for why we've not "improved our understanding of how to discipline children".
> I've never seen anything even resembling a "don't punish kids if they say they don't know why they misbehaved".
I don't know very much about parenting strategies (I don't have any children yet so I've never taken the time), but I feel like that's compatible with some things I've heard about responsive parenting. I'm guessing you'd know more though?
I wouldn't claim I'm anything other than "well read". Definitely not an expert.
Based on past exchanges, there's a 20% chance of someone linking to something from 10 or 15 years ago titled "Don't punish your kids if they say they don't know why they misbehaved".
If so, I'll be happy to see it. If not, still a decent chance that it's out there, and no one knew it to link to it.
But I'm unwilling to assume it exists merely because I'd like to live in a world where it was true. Someone's going to have to show me.
I just assume they all are. Then, when someone gives me an actually thought-out reason for why they did something and it seems plausibly pre-hoc (so to speak), I can be legitimately surprised and delighted. But in all honesty, I’m talking about early-to-mid teenagers, for whom most random outbursts are just that, random. Which is not, as it turns out, that big a deal. Adults get huffy because they take it personally. Dudes and dudettes, they’re teenagers. Chill.
I think, at least here in the States, we've improved our cultural understanding of how to appropriately talk to/discipline children since then, however.