[NoMoreNicksLeft]

I read alot. I probably see 5-10 new "theories" on how to raise children per year, and have for the past few decades.

I've never seen anything even resembling a "don't punish kids if they say they don't know why they misbehaved". I do remember being chastised for it when I was a child myself. And in the last 3 or 4 years, I've seen hints of a few psychological studies that have posited that people often don't know why they do things, but make up reasonings for their behavior after the fact.

But never has anyone put two and two together that I am aware of.

I could write books on the evidence I have for why we've not "improved our understanding of how to discipline children".

[maxbond]

> I've never seen anything even resembling a "don't punish kids if they say they don't know why they misbehaved".

I don't know very much about parenting strategies (I don't have any children yet so I've never taken the time), but I feel like that's compatible with some things I've heard about responsive parenting. I'm guessing you'd know more though?

[NoMoreNicksLeft]

I wouldn't claim I'm anything other than "well read". Definitely not an expert.

Based on past exchanges, there's a 20% chance of someone linking to something from 10 or 15 years ago titled "Don't punish your kids if they say they don't know why they misbehaved".

If so, I'll be happy to see it. If not, still a decent chance that it's out there, and no one knew it to link to it.

But I'm unwilling to assume it exists merely because I'd like to live in a world where it was true. Someone's going to have to show me.