[kthrowaway]

Despite having access through acquaintances to recreational ketamine for quite some time, I refused to try it until a couple months ago when a major life event left me spiraling and borderline suicidal. Upon taking it (nasally), I was amazed at how effectively and immediately it stopped my runaway panic and allowed me to feel peace. I fully believe that having access to ketamine at that moment allowed me to stay grounded and made it tangibly easier to bounce back and recover in the weeks following.

I have depression and anxiety, so it wasn't long before something else, less severe this time, set me on another spiral and I decided to address it with ketamine again. I found that the same dose was now less effective at quieting the anxiety. As I continued to experiment with ketamine as a potential anti-depressant and anti-anxiety drug, I found that I was building up a tolerance alarmingly quickly. Doses that would put others in a k-hole would leave me still very much able to feel my panic and anxiety. Realizing that, I decided to stop using it before the ratchet of tolerance turned too far. I still keep some ketamine in the house, but with the personal rule of "only reach for this if you'd otherwise be reaching for a gun."

My personal hypothesis is that whatever chemical difference makes my brain more depressed and anxious than a typical person is also making me more resistant to ketamine, though of course I have no science to back this up. (If you do, please link me!) I'm grateful that I don't have a very addictive personality - I know many people who have made a regular habit of it.

There isn't much point to this post other than to share my personal experiences with ketamine. I'd love to hear the experiences of others with it. I think it has an incredible potential as an acute anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication, but would love to see more studies on it, particularly on how it affects the neurodivergent.

[snackwalrus]

How often were you taking it? I use ketamine for depression and I don't think I've experienced tolerance before. While I usually feel less depressed during the high, I don't feel the long term anti-depressant effects for 2-7 days after treatment. Once it comes, it lasts for 3-6 weeks. It makes me a completely different person. I can go from borderline suicidal to living in the moment and relishing the simplest parts of life in an unbelievably short time. I fully realize that depression is more than just neurochemistry and that its just as important to use these windows of joy to create healthy physical, mental, and social habits to prolong wellness. I'm still figuring out how I can create a long term regiment using ketamine, but for the time being it seems like using it once every month-ish is making me feel well enough and is not leading to tolerance or addiction. This is after over a decade of constant crippling depression. If I were you I would definitely not think about it as a "feel better in the moment drug", that will only lead to overuse and potential psychological addiction. I was briefly prescribed anti-anxiety medication I can tell you that having a pill that instantly stops chronic symptoms is unbelievably addictive. Ketamine is different in that the effects can last longer than the high itself when used correctly. It takes time, research, experimentation, and understanding of contemporary ketamine assisted therapy methods to really figure out what works for you. I wholly believe that this is going to replace the majority of antidepressant use in the next twenty years.

[kthrowaway]

The ramp-up to "I need to save this for extreme circumstances only" happened over about a couple months, during which I'd use it maybe once or twice a week. I didn't feel any particular longer-term boost attributable to it; it felt very much like just an acute treatment. Maybe I'm due for more experimentation, I'll keep your comment in mind the next time I'm anxious and feel like giving it a another try. Regardless, thanks for your comment.

[snackwalrus]

It's different for everyone, it may be that it works better for my neurochemistry that it does for yours. And for what its worth its never really helped my anxiety, only the depression. You can also try doing it in a more clinical setting with a therapist, that makes a big difference for some people. It can allow you to work on deep-seated emotional issues in a very profound way.

[lordfrito]

Similar experience. I suffer from PTSD. A friend recommended ketamine therapy.

Ketamine hole is wild. The first time was the most intense and almost impossible to describe. I now understand what an "altered state" is really all about. It's like all of my senses were turned off, but my consciousness was fully present and I could think clearly. Even though I lost my senses, I could hear music more clearly than I ever could, it's like it permeated my whole being.

Later times are less intense, and a bit predictable, since my brain is more used to the altered state. I've gone probably 8 times in 2 years (6 in the first year, twice last year). It's pretty expensive, so unless you're getting real life-changing results I say it's fun to try but not necessary. It's a small reset of sorts. A nice pick me up.

The biggest upside is that it opens up a part of your mind you didn't know was there. Kinda gets the junk out of the way. I found it is a good place to contemplate things and think about bigger picture. The perspective I gained in my inner space I get to carry with me outside.

Every time I go the clinician asks me what is it that has brought me here. I tell them it's like deciding it's time to get a massage. You don't really need it, and will do just fine without it, but it's a nice thing to do for yourself from time to time.

YMMV

[plusminusplus]

The anesthetic doses I've been treated with caused very bad dissociative psychotomimetic episodes. Emphasis on YMMV

[lordfrito]

Yes this.

Please do your own research before messing around with your head.

I only did it because it was in a controlled clinical environment, and my vitals were monitored the entire time. Early in the experience as my senses faded and I lost touch with my body I thought I might be dying. It's a ride, and it's not for everyone.

[tbalsam]

The tolerance runaway with Ketamine is legendary, and how people get addicted.

At some point, people have to give up "that first dose" effect and take what Ketamine does offer in the long term.

That's why doctors tend to lock the dose at one single point. This is what happens with nearly any drug like this, but Ketamine is certainly severely strong in this aspect.

Let's not have another opioid crisis please.

[kthrowaway]

> At some point, people have to give up "that first dose" effect and take what Ketamine does offer in the long term.

Yeah, I was quite sad that I could never quite achieve the bliss of that first dose again. If I didn't have things going on in my external life right now to keep me busy, I definitely would have chased that bliss to a dangerous degree.

> That's why doctors tend to lock the dose at one single point. This is what happens with nearly any drug like this, but Ketamine is certainly severely strong in this aspect.

Do you happen to know what that dose is (or could point me at a paper/some other reputable source that states it)? Would love more information on being able to dose myself responsibly.

> Let's not have another opioid crisis please.

For sure - hence why I stopped using it once I became uncomfortable with how my body was responding to it (or rather - not responding to it).

[MivLives]

Ketamine builds up a tolerance in a way that feels not like other drugs. The tolerance is sticky. The tolerance does fade overtime. What it's really good for is catching yourself and setting up better habits so hopefully your next. Ketamine shouldn't be used regularly as it does cause bladder damage.

Personally I'm interested in them exploring analogs of Ketamine in depression treatment. Ketamine is not particularly manic especially when compared to some of the others in its family. That may be helpful in some cases, but not others. There is at least one that doesn't seem to have the holing/disconnected effects but does seem to have some of the antidepressant ones at least from what I've seen. The smaller doses of a lot of them (ketamine is much less potent than DCK, or 3meopce).

[upsidesinclude]

This is a very suspicious statement for anyone unfamiliar with ketamine and it is exactly the type of text one would expect from a pharmaceutical company.

It is also coming from a throwaway account, so please take "the same dose was less effective" with a grain of salt.

I know many people with depression and anxiety that used ketamine and never experienced this type of response: extremely limited use and immediate reduction in effectiveness.

I don't buy it.

Edit: Initial studies show even microdoses of ketamine can cause immediate and lasting (+2 weeks) reduction in depression and anxiety. One should not be going into a "k hole" which is regarded as somewhat of an overdose even to partiers

[ketaway]

I disagree. The above is actually a (perhaps unwitting) story of what to avoid in ketamine treatment.

My experience is that I dislike the feeling of ketamine high, and I use a small dose fortnightly. If I go longer than that, the depression and suicidal ideation return. I use a small enough dose that I do not feel the immediate effect. It takes a day or three before I experience a reduction in depression and suicidal ideation, but after that, the part of my brain that says "kill yourself" every few minutes goes completely silent.

I also know people who seek out the k-hole and have built up ridiculous (and very expensive) tolerance to the drug. Their stories are very similar to GP. To be avoided.

[upsidesinclude]

I appreciate your input and it helps to clarify my point as well.

I believe we agree on most everything else if not our perception of the poster.

[kthrowaway]

I dunno what to tell you. I will say that I have also been prescribed multiple antidepressants (Sertraline, Lexapro, fluoxetine, wellbutrin) and I stopped them all because I hated the side effects, so pharmaceutical companies haven't been any help to me either. That's why I was so initially interested in the potential in ketamine as a treatment. If it works for you, more power to ya. I have a friend who goes in for regular infusions and says it's better than any antidepressant she's ever been prescribed.

[qnt5]

Ketamine not only saved my life, it saved my marriage, and my job. I had a mental breakdown. Went catatonic while at work from life/work stress and 13 years of 80 hour weeks. I was able to take a six month leave from work, and had been on all different anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds for 10 years. A mix of ketamine, time away from work, and therapy quite literally saved me. It's crucial to understand that everyone's mileage may vary, as with every medication/treatment.

[in3d]

You’re making unsupported assertions. It is unclear how dose-dependent the therapeutic effects are. I definitely haven’t seen anything to suggest that microdoses can work as well as larger doses.

[upsidesinclude]

You are making inference & unsupported assertions.

Please feel free to investigate and provide educated feedback