[chasebank]

These posts come up often here, seemingly more so since the pandemic. The most successful people I know all learned at some point in their lives to take large goals, dreams, work duties, etc, break them down into manageable sized tasks and go through each one. Some tasks will become second nature, others won’t. This is not rocket science. Just do it. There’s no secret, shortcut, magic pill. Eat right, get good sleep, exercise, laugh a lot.

There are 8 billion people on this planet, nobody else will look out for your well-being except you.

[ineedausername]

You said there's no magic pill? You are mistaken sir, there are pills for such things...

[danShumway]

> Just do it

I think this is a little dismissive.

The most successful people I know all learned to be productive and to break apart tasks. I don't think it's unreasonable for people who don't have that skill/muscle for whatever reason to try and figure out how to build it. It is possible to get better at this.

And the "there's nothing to learn, just do it" argument that pops up so often in these kinds of threads to me ends up reading as a kind of moral/essentialist reduction of discipline and executive function. It's just super-unhelpful when going to someone and telling them "I don't know how to do X" to get a response back of "well you'd better learn." The whole point is that they don't know how.

> There’s no secret, shortcut, magic pill.

Highly agreed, but I think this is also part of the reason why "just do it" is such bad advice; it assumes that there is some kind of switch in someone's brain they can just flip to change their behavior. In reality, getting better at productivity is the result of a long, difficult, everyday effort to learn about yourself and to learn what strategies work and what strategies don't.

Most people can not decide to "just do it." They can't just make a resolution to not struggle with something. They have to instead take an inquisitive attitude about themselves and daily work on getting better little by little. And part of that process involves asking questions and getting tips. Even advice like exercise and sleep is not really useful if someone is struggling with getting the motivation to do that stuff in the first place.

> magic pill.

There is no universal magic pill, but medication in conjunction with therapy for some people does unlock additional strategies that would not be available otherwise. Half of the productivity strategies I use would not work if I was unmedicated. Keep a calendar so I don't miss events? The only reason I can do that is because I'm medicated.

Medication doesn't magically solve problems, it doesn't mean you don't have to care about the other stuff, but for some people, medication is an important part of the process. At its best, medication prompts a kind of spiral of success. If medication helps you eat/exercise more often, that gives you more willpower to do even more stuff. If it removes enough anxiety to get rid of insomnia, that can be a game-changer for motivation.

So not exactly a magic pill, but definitely occasionally a process that can kick-start other processes. Very individually dependent though.

> nobody else will look out for your well-being except you.

I guess as long as I'm quibbling; asking for help and taking proactive steps to better yourself is looking out for yourself.

You owe it to yourself and to the people around you to take your mental state seriously and to take your problems seriously, and if that means asking for help, then that's better than staying where you are and struggling to handle that entire process on your own.

Do what you have to do to better yourself, and let go of any ego about self-reliance. Don't let embarrassment about where you are prevent you from moving to a better place.

[ineedausername]

You cannot better yourself :)

[danShumway]

This is a good opportunity to offer another tip that I don't see mentioned super-often on these threads: keep logs/records of your performance, so you can look back at how your life/habits have changed over time.

Most habits form gradually and it can be hard to see them taking effect, and that can be really demotivating. For me, being able to look back at photos of what my house used to look like and being able to go over some of my old sprint logs is sometimes a good way to combat these kinds of brain worms and to get a sense of the general direction I'm headed and what progress I've made.

[ineedausername]

I'm not sure I follow.

I never found a reason to force myself to form any kind of habit, life lead me to my habits, either out of a specific need at the time or some kind of inner drive, but that's it.

I think this self-betterment I keep reading about online is nonsense, maybe we aren't talking about the same thing tho.

[deterministic]

> I think this self-betterment I keep reading about online is nonsense, maybe we aren't talking about the same thing tho.

Not at all. It is very much real. I used to lack confidence as an overweight shy teenager and decided to start doing kick-boxing. It completely changed my life. Not only did I loose weight but I also learned that I can do so much more than I ever imagined. Walking into a ring to fight a 6’3” bouncer and realising that he was afraid of me blew my mind.

[ineedausername]

The way you guys define "better" is so obvious that I really thought you were talking about something more than that.

In terms of what you talk about, confidence, muscle, productivity even... these are ways to become a better narcissist. But a better person? Nah... I'd argue you're worse now that your ego is pumped.

[danShumway]

Habits are formed through repetition, and that repetition can be a conscious decision. It is very obviously possible to train yourself to have better habits, people do it all the time.

I'm not sure what your specific definition of self-betterment is, but mine is that you can through guidance, external help, environmental changes, personal reflection, (occasionally) medication, and (importantly) personal repetition, practice, and conscious effort slowly fix problems with your behavior/attitudes and pick up working/life strategies that make you more productive and healthier, and it is good for most people to try and do so.

This is a kind of out-of-left-field comment that I'm not sure how to reply to. I don't think I understand what you're saying, because obviously there are good reasons to force ourselves to form habits? A huge percentage of learning any skill is in learning fundamentals in such a way that they become instinctive and where practicing them becomes habitual. Even day-to-day life habits like brushing your teeth are ingrained in us via conscious effort and conscious reinforcement, they're not something we accidentally pick up. So I have to assume I misunderstand what you mean by self-betterment and habits because I assume you're not arguing that people shouldn't consciously try to form habits, and I assume you're not arguing that it's impossible for people to learn to be better people or to pick up healthier habits than they have currently. I mean, that argument wouldn't even be a philosophical difference or a perspective difference, it would just be observably false.

If self betterment in general the way that most people understand it was nonsense then nobody would ever stop smoking, rehab would always be a waste of time, no one would ever lose weight or improve exercise habits, etc... And that's so clearly not the case that I have to assume you're using those words differently than most people.

----

In any case, OP asking for help at the top of the thread is a kind of self betterment (although HN might not be the best place to do it or to get advice), and it's healthy for them to be putting in effort to understand themselves better and to get better at controlling their productivity. And it's extremely possible for them to see results; I bring up the records advice out of personal experience with it and out of personal experience looking back and seeing, "oh wow, I am way better at day-to-day tasks than I used to be." You can get better at this stuff. It's not a matter of just magically deciding to (which is part of my objection to the "just do it" advice I was replying to above), but self-improvement is a totally feasible thing for most people to do.

[ineedausername]

Alright then now it makes sense, the degree of what the word betterment entails is our difference.

I thought it meant to alter yourself, far more than just the results of adopting a healthy lifestyle, and i really believe it's not possible to really alter oneself.

[deterministic]

Not true at all. The only person who can better yourself is you. I became a much better person because I decided to put in the work. Nobody did it for me.

[ineedausername]

Work doesn't make you a better person. I don't think you became a better person although I certainly don't know you.