[petsormeat]

> why women often make the best spies for our times

When I worked as a secretary, I was amazed at how unguarded men are in front of women in the workplace, particularly those of us in lower status roles. They seemed to think we had no capacity for thought or language, and were safe background decor for any conversation. I really worry that foreign service clerical staff are treated appropriately.

[marliechiller]

I found this extends to lower status roles in general - I have also worked as a secretary as a male and found the same thing

[aliqot]

Everyone talks to the barber.

[seanhunter]

I used to work in financial services as a quant. Friend of mine told me about when they were doing a huge arb in the metals markets they needed to do a trade where they took physical delivery of a very very very substantial amount of gold. Like think super villain in a movie doing a heist type of levels. So naturally the team who knew what was going down was kept super small and the details were kept really tight. Morning of the trade my friend goes to get his hair cut. Barber says to him “so I hear you guys took delivery of a bunch of gold”. My friends chin hit the floor.

Turns out one of the security guards came to get his hair cut and was moaning about how tired his arms were from unloading the vans and putting it all in the vault.

[ZephyrBlu]

Something something weakest link.

[PenguinCoder]

Not me. I just want them to cut my hair. No talking, just cut.

[sudomatic]

ἀδολέσχου δὲ κουρέως ἐρωτήσαντος αὐτόν, “πῶς σε κείρω;” “σιωπῶν,” ἔφη.

When a talkative barber asked him [Archelaus, king of Macedonia], ‘How should I cut your hair?’ he said, ‘In silence!’

— Plutarch

[lifeisstillgood]

Oh yes :-)

There have not been enough "HN moments" recently but here we are ... following a thread on spies, we perfectly segue into a quote from Plutarch, that is not only on point and unforced, but in the orignal Greek.

You have restored my lost faith in social media, my recently-signed-up friend - long may you enjoy our weird corner of the internet. We have cookies.

[jeffrallen]

> We have cookies.

But we block 'em.

[hallway_monitor]

Obligatory "I'm sure you're fun at parties". Honestly though why would anyone have this attitude? It seems like having a conversation with someone while getting your hair cut has zero downside, and the guaranteed upside both of you being a little more entertained. Possible upsides are actually getting into a meaningful conversation or stumbling on a new opportunity. Seems like a win-win to me.

[northwest65]

As somebody with that attitude, it's because I find it quite zen just to relax and be groomed by a professional. I won't shut down conversation, but I won't initiate it either.

The other thing is that decades of motorcycling without ear plugs has rooted my hearing, so talking to people with thick accents (I'd say 50% of hairdressers here are immigrants) can't be tiring, which is the opposite of why I actually enjoy getting my hair cut. There's a nice Korean lady I sometimes see who chats away merrily, but I feel like an arsehole having to ask her to repeat herself the whole time.

[Reason077]

> "rooted"

Aussie?

In any case, you may not have good hearing, but at least you have good hair!

[mym1990]

Not everyone wants to be entertained 100% of the time. It feels weird to assume everyone should be a talkative person all the time. At the end of the day barbers are still doing a technical job, some of them probably would prefer to focus on the work as well. How do you feel when you are focused on something and someone is asking you pedantic questions?

[species9606]

Right near the CalTech campus, there was a barbershop owned and operated by a sole older gentleman. You’d sit down, tell him what you wanted, and he’d give you a magazine (often Scientific American) and cut your hair in silence. It was perfect.

[pyuser583]

Best haircut I ever got was by and Indian gentleman in the Dominican Republic. He was so intensely focused he never said a word.

[wink]

Do you really think 100% of hairdressers LIKE to make smalltalk for 8h per day? Probably rehashing some news event with 4 different people?

I like to talk to people I'm friends with, so far that has not included any of my hairdressers, so I sit there in silence, answering when spoken to and being generally friendly, but not initiating any conversation.

[comprev]

For 5yrs my friend was a barber by trade and I would always go to him (wherever he worked regardless of price) and would sit in silence while he did his job. He appreciated the silence as, like you say, most of his clients would make smalltalk about the same current affairs. Sometimes the prices were outrageous but my friend was only an employee, and loyalty was far more important.

After the cut we often used to go out for a meal and then we'd chat for hours.

The cut was a business transaction, the meal was between friends.

[blep_]

Because I... don't like talking to people? It's not entertaining to me, it's excruciating.

[porknubbins]

When forced to make smalltalk with zero shared context with someone I find it a huge burden to avoid saying something weird, or offensive or too random, its like the filter is too strict to be able to say anything interesting so its not worth the mental effort. People who enjoy smalltalk seem to be much less sensitive to whether the person is interested or agrees and are more willing to take conversational chances.

[dmix]

I don’t talk to cab drivers either.

My girlfriend always finds a way to start conversations with ever driver but I rarely ever do unless I’m in some peppy mood.

The pressure to talk to barbers seems much higher though.

[phone[phone]]

Sitting at the barber's getting my hair cut is one of only a handful of times that it feels like I'm spending time just for me. So I'd like to keep that time for me and let my brain wander.

[PenguinCoder]

> Honestly though why would anyone have this attitude

WHAT? I am paying for a service. I expect that service to be completed well. And it typically is. The service I am paying for does not include nor warrant "small talk", why should it?

> has zero downside

Incorrect. I have to pretend to be interested in whatever inane topic they want to discuss, or ones I don't have any interest in or care about. I have to use my brain power on a useless distraction.

> a meaningful conversation

I don't want a meaningful conversation from a haircut. Nor do I want it while shopping, or a mechanics shop, or any other random ass place where I am trying to get errands done. Service, money, done. Nothing else needed. Not everyone wants to deal with -you- or your fake ass pleasantries. I don't want to deal with someone pretending to know me, or like me, or be nice because _its literally their job_. I want to pay for my services and go away.

[GlacierFox]

Obligatory "You must be the person that doesn't stop talking to breathe at parties." Honestly though, some people just don't like nattering away and would rather just sit and relax for a few minutes.

[trenning]

I worked as a security guard in various locations and same thing, people would speak unfiltered and candid around me to others.

[GuB-42]

We experienced a surreal scene at one of our workplaces. We were subcontractors and therefore lower status than full employees. It was an open floor plan, next to it was a meeting room. One guy left the room while on the phone, went straight to where we were working, and said "Ok I left the meeting to isolate myself, what did you want to say?". As if we simply didn't exist.

[belfalas]

"Admins run the world, never make them angry." :)

[grogenaut]

Bribe the IT staff and the Admins with whatever treats they want constantly... -me

I worked in an amazon building where we got free energy drinks but no one else did... the head of IT for the building loved red bull sugar free. I'd roll down there to get something fixed and bring one for him and I knew what the others wanted. He'd waddle over from behind his desk and see what I needed as soon as I set the drinks on the table. He was a manager, never did anything for anyone else but the EAs in bulk. People complained verbally, he'd just say "he filed a ticket yesterday". I'd sit around sipping a drink while he told me about working on paul allen's yacht's AV system even tho I was missing a meeting. You gotta know who to be nice to. His stories were good too.

Another guy loved me forever cause I walked in to IT on my first day looking for a mac when they didn't give them by default... before talking to me he was like "WTF is this thing how do I quit" and I said "escape : wq" and he's like wtf how do you know that and I was like "it's that or emacs"... instant first person service from then on.

[_carbyau_]

My first days of work included first level IT support including onsite. The secretaries or personal assistants were THE people to go to. They knew everything!

[thatcat]

They were probably just flexing and thought they were impressing you or something.