I used to work in financial services as a quant. Friend of mine told me about when they were doing a huge arb in the metals markets they needed to do a trade where they took physical delivery of a very very very substantial amount of gold. Like think super villain in a movie doing a heist type of levels. So naturally the team who knew what was going down was kept super small and the details were kept really tight. Morning of the trade my friend goes to get his hair cut. Barber says to him “so I hear you guys took delivery of a bunch of gold”. My friends chin hit the floor.
Turns out one of the security guards came to get his hair cut and was moaning about how tired his arms were from unloading the vans and putting it all in the vault.
There have not been enough "HN moments" recently but here we are ... following a thread on spies, we perfectly segue into a quote from Plutarch, that is not only on point and unforced, but in the orignal Greek.
You have restored my lost faith in social media, my recently-signed-up friend - long may you enjoy our weird corner of the internet. We have cookies.
Obligatory "I'm sure you're fun at parties". Honestly though why would anyone have this attitude? It seems like having a conversation with someone while getting your hair cut has zero downside, and the guaranteed upside both of you being a little more entertained. Possible upsides are actually getting into a meaningful conversation or stumbling on a new opportunity. Seems like a win-win to me.
As somebody with that attitude, it's because I find it quite zen just to relax and be groomed by a professional. I won't shut down conversation, but I won't initiate it either.
The other thing is that decades of motorcycling without ear plugs has rooted my hearing, so talking to people with thick accents (I'd say 50% of hairdressers here are immigrants) can't be tiring, which is the opposite of why I actually enjoy getting my hair cut. There's a nice Korean lady I sometimes see who chats away merrily, but I feel like an arsehole having to ask her to repeat herself the whole time.
Kiwi! But yes, polite way of saying my hearing is fucked. Odd phrase... if I were to use that in the context of actual fucking, I'd consider it a vulgar way to put it!
Not everyone wants to be entertained 100% of the time. It feels weird to assume everyone should be a talkative person all the time. At the end of the day barbers are still doing a technical job, some of them probably would prefer to focus on the work as well. How do you feel when you are focused on something and someone is asking you pedantic questions?
Right near the CalTech campus, there was a barbershop owned and operated by a sole older gentleman. You’d sit down, tell him what you wanted, and he’d give you a magazine (often Scientific American) and cut your hair in silence. It was perfect.
Do you really think 100% of hairdressers LIKE to make smalltalk for 8h per day? Probably rehashing some news event with 4 different people?
I like to talk to people I'm friends with, so far that has not included any of my hairdressers, so I sit there in silence, answering when spoken to and being generally friendly, but not initiating any conversation.
For 5yrs my friend was a barber by trade and I would always go to him (wherever he worked regardless of price) and would sit in silence while he did his job. He appreciated the silence as, like you say, most of his clients would make smalltalk about the same current affairs. Sometimes the prices were outrageous but my friend was only an employee, and loyalty was far more important.
After the cut we often used to go out for a meal and then we'd chat for hours.
The cut was a business transaction, the meal was between friends.
When forced to make smalltalk with zero shared context with someone I find it a huge burden to avoid saying something weird, or offensive or too random, its like the filter is too strict to be able to say anything interesting so its not worth the mental effort. People who enjoy smalltalk seem to be much less sensitive to whether the person is interested or agrees and are more willing to take conversational chances.
Sitting at the barber's getting my hair cut is one of only a handful of times that it feels like I'm spending time just for me. So I'd like to keep that time for me and let my brain wander.
> Honestly though why would anyone have this attitude
WHAT? I am paying for a service. I expect that service to be completed well. And it typically is. The service I am paying for does not include nor warrant "small talk", why should it?
> has zero downside
Incorrect. I have to pretend to be interested in whatever inane topic they want to discuss, or ones I don't have any interest in or care about. I have to use my brain power on a useless distraction.
> a meaningful conversation
I don't want a meaningful conversation from a haircut. Nor do I want it while shopping, or a mechanics shop, or any other random ass place where I am trying to get errands done. Service, money, done. Nothing else needed. Not everyone wants to deal with -you- or your fake ass pleasantries. I don't want to deal with someone pretending to know me, or like me, or be nice because _its literally their job_. I want to pay for my services and go away.
Obligatory "You must be the person that doesn't stop talking to breathe at parties." Honestly though, some people just don't like nattering away and would rather just sit and relax for a few minutes.