[bitwize]

I have a tendency to info-dump to establish shared context, and people find that insulting as well. So it can turn into a dilemma of:

Info-dump: "I know that already! What do you think I am, an idiot?"

Assume context: "In English, please! I didn't get my MBA to be made to look like an idiot."

Excuse me for failing to read your mind and know exactly what you know and what you don't before I begin.

Those of us on the spectrum are set up to fail by NT-centric culture. You think we're mind-blind? It goes both ways, look up "double empathy problem". It's just that most people are NT, so by default we have to accommodate your neural quirks but the vice is not versa.

[pickledish]

When you say “NT-centric culture” I think you’re talking about this, right?

https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/underst...

[yberreby]

I assume it means "neurotypical" here.

[aeze]

I think there are ways to learn how much context the other party needs - like asking them in the beginning of the conversation.

[kaashif]

If you ask people if they know something and they already do, they can sometimes be insulted. I'm never insulted when people do that, I think it's considerate, but I have seen people get all "of course I know that, what do you think I am, an idiot" on me.

I still ask if I'm not sure of someone's level of expertise - I think any reasonable person would react positively.

[b3morales]

Yup, absolutely; this is yet another angle on empathetic communication. When in the listener's seat, it's important to be mindful of the fact that the presenter is trying their best at the difficult task of conveying this information to you.

[Hermitian909]

I've found it super helpful to frame conversations establishing shared context with "I have no idea what you do or don't know about X" It helps re-center the conversation so that I'm the one who's ignorant, and the other person potentially has an opportunity to show off.

[ambrose2]

Yea, that’s simple in a one on one. But how do you simultaneously provide the right level of jargon and context in a standup with a mixed crowd of MBAs and developers? Either the PM is frustrated that they have to listen to you go in the weeds, or they don’t understand why is this is important, or the fellow dev isn’t getting enough technical detail to understand precisely the crux if you’ve oversimplified.