[bradlys]

As someone who did get older and went through this - it does not get better. Your hair doesn’t suddenly get thicker. The pounds don’t suddenly become easier to keep off. Your skin doesn’t tighten. Your complexion doesn’t smoothen out.

It gets worse. This is just copium we give to men to make them think it gets better. The stats show that it doesn’t get better. If you’re single now and have never been on a date - the only thing that increases is your time on the market. Your value though - it will continue to plummet unless you do something about it.

Often the stories about men who didn’t do well in their early 20s but managed well later are due to weight loss, fashion sense, not being poor, etc. If you didn’t catch on already - none of these are unsolvable at 22. You can fix them at 22 and be much better off than a 28 year old.

The quality of people you’ll be able to date will also vary even more wildly. You’re going to get far more jaded people who used their 20s to burn every emotionally healthy neuron they had in their brain, people who are desperate to settle down but are bad at making long term choices with it (thus high risk of divorce), and many single parents. (40% of children are born out of wedlock today)

It does not get better as you age. This is a myth. If you’re a shit candidate at 22 - you will be a shit candidate at 28 unless something markedly changes about yourself. (Which - again - can happen at 22 - there’s no reason to wait)

[pizza234]

> Your hair doesn’t suddenly get thicker. The pounds don’t suddenly become easier to keep off. Your skin doesn’t tighten. Your complexion doesn’t smoothen out.

If the only change that occurs to a person until the more advanced age, is only physical decline, then they're certainly "less valuable" than their younger counterpart.

However, there are people (I hope most) that actually do have many other (inner) qualities that grow with them, and compensante and exceed the physical decline, thus, their "value" is higher than their younger counterpart.

[bradlys]

Inner qualities don't matter with online dating. You're not choosing someone based on inner qualities with online dating or even first dates. You're choosing your dates based off of superficial qualities then hoping maybe there will be good inner qualities that come along.

This is why if you're not getting dates now - you will not get them later unless you change something about your most superficial appearance.

[tasuki]

> Inner qualities don't matter with online dating.

Were we talking about online dating? Afaics it hasn't been mentioned anywhere in the chain you're replying to.

[bradlys]

https://www.statista.com/chart/20822/way-of-meeting-partner-...

Tell me - what does it look like here as to how people are going to get into relationships? Do you think bars and especially clubs are going to be great places to really get to know someone and let their personality shine for greater than 5 minutes?

I'm not gonna bother getting newer stats but they show the trend getting even more pushed towards online dating. You're not escaping it.

[BlargMcLarg]

>not being poor

That's a pretty darn big reason when women select for financial stability rather aggressively and with the "do your dues" mentality the job market has combined with prolonged studying. By far most people would not point out "just age" as the cause, but the things which come with age to most men naturally.

[bradlys]

Poor is different than not-rich. I've seen many "poor" men get many relationships and dates. Money is only a minor factor. SV should be an indicator of that - we have an overreaching amount of men making $400k+/yr and yet they're also some of the most single people out there.

Besides - when it comes to online dating and getting first dates - not looking poor just means don't appear homeless.

[BlargMcLarg]

Not sure why you're arguing in extremes when we both agree "don't appear homeless" is a pretty big deal, in fact "don't be homeless" is an important deal to most women, and more and more men early to mid 20s aren't in a position to afford rent due to their life choices and economic pressure on young adults in particular.

If you're going to argue being financially stable is in fact a pretty big deal, aging and gaining experience to remain financially stable is a pretty obvious perk that comes with age. Especially outside SV and the US. If only as simple as to afford going to places with more prospects and bringing someone home to your place without hassle or worries. It doesn't need "rich" money but it sure as hell needs "money" spent in an effective manner.

[kbelder]

Sorry. You appear to be in the subset where it didn't get better.

For many men, it works the other way. You become smarter. More confident. More emotionally, psychologically, and financially stable. All those make you more attractive. Your prospective partners are the same. Everybody has more experience, and doesn't freak out and act self-destructively like they did when they were 23. People are more aware of what a relationship entails.

Simply, relationships are just more pleasing.

At least for some subset of those growing older.

[bradlys]

Tell me you haven't dated in the last 10 years without telling me you haven't dated in the last 10 years.

> You become smarter. More confident. More emotionally, psychologically, and financially stable.

Cause all those are relevant for online dating and getting first dates.

[willcipriano]

> Your hair doesn’t suddenly get thicker. The pounds don’t suddenly become easier to keep off. Your skin doesn’t tighten. Your complexion doesn’t smoothen out.

All of this is also true for women.

[bradlys]

And?

[willcipriano]

The women you are trying to date get older as well, so you getting older is less of a factor.

How often do you see women in their 30's dating 22 year old men? If youth is what they are after I feel like you would see that a lot more often.

[globular-toast]

The thing is a man's attractiveness is not one-dimensional. We all know that one guy who does well despite not being physically attractive. But if you're talking about online dating only then you are probably right. Online dating isn't really good for us.

[annyeonghada]

>We all know that one guy who does well despite not being physically attractive.

I actually don't. I keep seeing these meme constantly repeated and I actually made a list of unattractive males... and they, mostly, have never had luck with relationship. Physical attractiveness is very important, whatever the consensus du jour say about it.

[globular-toast]

I think you either don't know many people or you're subconsciously focussing on the negative examples. We also all know that one guy who isn't successful but defeats himself by setting ridiculous standards. Just walk around town one day and look at the couples. You'll see most of the men really aren't anything to look at.

It's amazing how your mindset can make the world look completely different. That mindset also makes you completely unattractive to women. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. The information is out there to help, if you want it. The short version is to socialise more and think less.

[bradlys]

Same. I don't know any of these men and have never known any either. Sometimes I've wondered why some guys get some gals but then I talk to the women and they're like, "Oh, he's actually very physically attractive." So just because I couldn't see it doesn't mean the women didn't.

At no point have I heard multiple women say they are falling head over heels for a man due to his personality alone. Almost always - the man is physically attractive to them as well.