[throwaway99923]

Not great. I got separated and have been struggling with depression the last couple years. I'm stuck in a foreign, expensive location paying spousal support so I barely have any money left over and no family and few friends. Rents keep going up and I don't see how I'm ever going to buy a place now or retire. My single friends who are junior to me are grinding leetcode and getting into big tech companies, making twice as much as me, which makes me feel left behind. I'm either in single dad mode or spending my free time catching up on household jobs, and preparing for interviews is really tough to fit in (but I started doing it anyways). I feel completely stuck and screwed, now throw the anxiety of interviews on top of that, and I can never relax. Just steeling myself now for failing my interviews due to lack of time to prepare.

[taesu]

compare yesterday's you vs today's you. comparing yourself to others is a losing game, often detrimental. I'd consider moving away from the current place of living and reorganize your thoughts.

[throwaway99923]

Thanks for the words. Can't move due to custody arrangements, unfortunately. I dream of simply leaving it all behind, but I'm not willing to lose my kids so I endure for their sake.

[taesu]

I suggest you to speak to a mental mentor. I never thought of doing it but recently did and it helped me.

I have a friend who went through similar. I've known him about 10 years now. Trust me it gets better over time. He did move to another state(province in Canada) though.

[lifeplusplus]

This too shall pass, and don't forget to speak to a friend