Can anyone here give me an honest review of the doc I send people who reach out to me who I don't know? I definitely want to know if this doc comes off as condescending.
To be honest (as you asked for), it does come off as egotistical and a bit condescending. I would remove the "Thank you and sorry" and "The bar is high because my word carries weight" sections. The tone of sentences like "I'm insanely lucky to be where I am today", and "My word carries weight" is a bit self-aggrandizing.
Without those sections I think the rest is fine. If you want to introduce the whole thing to explain why it's necessary I would entirely leave yourself out of it because it comes off as self aggrandizing. I would just write something like, "I appreciate your interest in working at Loom. I can't simply pass your resume on if you contact me, because it isn't fair to my hiring manager. It makes it easier for everyone when I provide the below information up front because its saves us both time".
Given that this is a completely different context, one where someone is still outside the org and trying to get your attention to become their advocate it is a totally different vibe from TFA.
I don't see how 'humble, hungry and smart' will go together in most applicants, you'll be lucky to have one out of three, extremely happy to get two and all three is usually a question of broken self assessment.
Adding 'hungry' also seems to select for people in need, giving you an advantage over them in negotiations. As for humility: you will not find it in most sub 40 year olds, they don't know what they don't know yet. So this might cause good candidates to back out.
Finally, the extra heading 'We cannot hire within these countries' is superfluous, it is already covered by the previous heading.
Thanks for the feedback on humble, hungry, and smart. Tbh I do find that most people at Loom exhibit all 3 of these traits, but I could definitely be totally off due to people likely changing their behavior whenever I'm in a room or having a conversation with them (e.g. people on their best behavior).
> As for humility: you will not find it in most sub 40 year olds, they don't know what they don't know yet
This is interesting and very different from my experience. I feel like humility is actually the hardest thing to find in anyone (controlled for age and all). I haven't actually seen a clear trend line between humility and age.
> Adding 'hungry' also seems to select for people in need, giving you an advantage over them in negotiations.
Interesting I never really thought about it like this. Do you associate "hungry" with "desperate"? I've always seen them as completely distinct, but, if enough people see them as closely related, I probably should figure out how to qualify this.
I don't know the other people at Loom, so I'm modeling you after your typical scale-up with talented young people, the likes of which I see every other week or so on average, but it is definitely possible that Loom is in a different order all by itself.
Also, keep in mind that my viewpoint is Euro-centric and that just that alone could easily qualify to make up the difference.
As for terminology, eager might be a better term than hungry.
We hire people in the EU, so I definitely want your perspective!
> As for terminology, eager might be a better term than hungry.
So funny, I associate eager more with "desperate". Maybe this is a US vs. EU sorta thing. I'm going to noodle on this - thank you!
Comes off as very silly and insecure. It seems like it's written purely for you to curate your professional persona and to give people a good impression of yourself. A corporate kool-aid drinking work-a-holics version of a Twitter bio, just needlessly long and self-indulgent. At least Twitter bios are limited in length.
If you actually cared about the recipients of this document it would be half a page or shorter and have bullet points of your biggest weaknesses or eccentricities and other actionable info. You aren't Napoleon, nobody needs to read more than a half page about you, especially when most of what you have to say is meaningless corporate jargon.
I will gladly revise so I don't come off that way.
For the "work-a-loholics" comment, I certainly am a workaholic and you can easily find that online. I don't apologize for it, and I don't mind if others aren't but it will be a problem if that fact makes you salty. I'm doing a lot of shit, and I'm not sorry if that makes you insecure in yourself, although I do hope you work through that for your own benefit.
> have bullet points of your biggest weaknesses or eccentricities and other actionable info
The point of this document is to respond to someone who already wants to work with me and get signal through our hiring process to know if I should refer them in (ideally quickly). Highlighting my biggest weaknesses (something you can Google for - I'm very open about myself) feels off topic and doesn't seem to actually solve anyone's pain points (mine or the candidate's).
That said, I have been told that I can be long-winded in my writing, so it's valuable to get that feedback. I will take a stab at cutting as much fluff as possible - thank you!
Without those sections I think the rest is fine. If you want to introduce the whole thing to explain why it's necessary I would entirely leave yourself out of it because it comes off as self aggrandizing. I would just write something like, "I appreciate your interest in working at Loom. I can't simply pass your resume on if you contact me, because it isn't fair to my hiring manager. It makes it easier for everyone when I provide the below information up front because its saves us both time".