[dev_jim]

I couldn't give you the math, but the optimal strategy is to always date two or three women at any given time. This allows you to always keep your favorite while giving an opportunity for new contenders to rise to the top. Now of course this strategy only works for about a year with any individual girl until exclusivity becomes an issue.

This is similar to how most companies solve the secretary (or at least the software developer) problem. You have a body of candidates who get decimated as you go from round 1 => round 2 => ... => round X.

[kelnos]

A year? Damn. I don't know any women who would date a guy for a year before expecting exclusivity. More like 3-4 months, max.

Or maybe I'm just not interested in the types of women who would date someone for a year without expecting it to be going somewhere. (Not passing judgement, that just appears to be how I am.) Perhaps it's an age thing?

[ajays]

I came here to say this. Dating multiple women takes the pressure off your primary pursuit. I know this may sound immoral or bad to some people, but: believe me, it works.

Just the fact that you have a couple of backups makes you a lot more relaxed, spontaneous and fun to be with. Maybe it's the ego trip; maybe it's the fact that you always have a backup. But whatever it is: you are a lot more fun to be with when you are, shall we say, multitasking. Just one word of caution: do NOT bring up the other women at all, for any reason.

[john_b]

It's worse to actively try to hide the other women than to bring them up. I have never done this myself, but my dad did when he was younger. He wouldn't bring up the other women on purpose, but if one of them wanted to spend some time together on Thursday and my dad had a date with a different one on Thursday, then he would be honest with her. He was honest with them all at the beginning though; you have to define what you want and expect early. Not all girls will be ok with this kind of relationship, but a surprising number will be. It probably has to do with common fears that women have concerning the guy becoming needy or too attached. Dating multiple women at the same time signals that your expectations are modest and you are not looking for anything serious, which takes the pressure off of the girl.

But beware: one of those women my dad was dating turned out to be my mom. No relationship can go forever without becoming serious or dissolving.

[Swizec]

The problem with dating that many women at a time is that it's a giant waste of time, effort and ultimately money.

I don't know about you, but I don't have the funds to go on that many dates even if I am the kind of cheap who always splits the bill.

[danssig]

What are you wasting all your money on then? If you don't have the money to take a girl out do you really think you're financially stable enough to have a family?

[Swizec]

I'm a student. There just simply isn't any money to begin with.

[danssig]

Then why are you in a hurry to get married? I would expect dating to just be for fun at the student phase.

[Swizec]

I'm not. I just said dating three people at a time is a drain on my resources such as time, money and effort.

[danssig]

The main reason to date three people at a time is to find a wife.

[HeyLaughingBoy]

I dunno. I found dating fun. If it's a waste of time and effort, then why bother hanging out with women at all? As far as money, I certainly don't expect to pay for everything, all the time. Even the least "financially capable" of the women I dated insisted on paying when she could afford to, and often just cooked me dinner because she couldn't afford to go out.