[aborsy]

> Peng says Zhang did not contact her for several years after the initial assault. But in 2018, the year Zhang retired from the government, Peng claims he got back in touch with her and the two began a tumultuous but consensual romantic relationship which ended when he cut off all contact.

The story is a bit confusing. Sometimes it’s romantic, sometimes it’s not. There is also consent mixed in, that fluctuates.

[garbagetime]

Maybe I missed something, but wasn't confusing for me.

He sexually assaulted her, then at some later point in time they had a consensual relationship.

There's not a contradiction there.

[csomar]

> He sexually assaulted her, then at some later point in time they had a consensual relationship.

I understand that the consensual relationship doesn't rule out the sexual assault. I do have, however, trouble digesting such relations. Is it normal that people get into relations with other people that they intend to take to court?

[garbagetime]

I would say that it is not greatly unusual. A frequent scenario, albeit slightly different, is that sexual assault occurs partway through an otherwise consensual relationship. And then the relationship continues for some time.

[ceejayoz]

> Is it normal that people get into relations with other people that they intend to take to court?

Yes, it's very normal. Abusive partners can be very skilled at breaking down their victims; "you're so worthless, no one but me will ever love you" sort of scenarios. It's a very common phenomenon.

[vadfa]

Oh, let me explain some things about women...

[cafard]

Be my guest, if you are a woman. If you aren't, then I think this is what even I'd have to call mansplaining.

[edit: added 'this' initially omitted]

[Viliam1234]

How a person perceives themselves, and how other people perceive them, those can be two quite different things. I agree that women are more qualified to talk about the former, but the latter is also interesting.

[pvaldes]

A part of the advantages of being human is that you can understand other humans. Having exactly the same pain receptors, eyes and body temperature... Yes, men can talk and understand about how women feel.

And "mansplaining" is a concept that was created to justify having smaller seats in a train basically. And to target and ashame people that cames in different sizes and shapes. The solution to mansplaining whatever it means is simple: bigger seats.

[amcoastal]

How did you type this entire comment and not realize that mansplaining and manspreading are two different things?

[posterboy]

Yes, "men can talk and understand about how women feel." But mansplaining is not that.

Epistemic implication is saying, for example, "she is home, because her car is in the drive way". The car is not the reason, and the first clause is not a statement of fact. It is not too odd that "must" can be found in this middle voice, "She must be (a slut/a victim) because ..."

Saving grace is that the comment did not explain anything, so it can be chalked off as self-ironic take.

[rkk3]

> Is it normal

Normal? He was the 7th most powerful person in the CCP, in a country of 1.4 Billion. He was then a 65 year old having a "relationship" with a then 25 year-old...

[louhike]

"Is it normal?" just sounds like you saying "it isn't normal, she did something bad", almost putting the guilt on her. The thing is, it's just of no importance. We do not have the whole context, she might have loved him or saw an interest in the relationship, but it does not matter for this. It does not change the crime of the sexual assault.

[david38]

That’s not at all what’s being asked. It was an honest question and you are attacking the asker for not being as woke as you in how relationships of victims often play out.

[csomar]

I'm not putting the guilt on anybody. I just have a hard time to understand the dynamics of such relations. I don't have any hidden motives for my comment.

> she might have loved him or saw an interest in the relationship, but it does not matter for this

That's exactly the part I have trouble digesting. If I was sexually assaulted by person (that I want to take them to jail for it), how can I pursue a relation (later) with them? I don't think, also, that I'll be able to love such a person. But I guess that's just me?

[secondaryacct]

I disagree. Yes the law is the law and he should not have raped her, but she also should have had the moral fortitude not to then get into an affair with him.

The guy checks all the boxes, and will have to be punished, but giving the appearance of a scorned mistress doesn't help her convince something so wrong happened a decade ago.

But, no need to be perfect to he heard, and she'll have to have her chance.

[krageon]

> she also should have had the moral fortitude not to then get into an affair with him.

> giving the appearance of a scorned mistress doesn't help her convince

Given that we are certain both of those things can exist together, the case must at least be investigated. People should not have to be punished (or disbelieved) for being what they are: imperfect beings.

[posterboy]

GP:

> "Is it normal?" just sounds like you saying "it isn't normal, she did something bad", almost putting the guilt on her.

You:

> I disagree.

Also you:

> she also should have had the moral fortitude not to ...

This seems to be a contradiction, unless you disagree on some metalevel, disagreeing with the course of events in general.

[Mandelmus]

Why did she consent to a relationship after having been raped and traumatised by him before?

[diob]

Why do folks stay in abusive relationships or situations?

Humans are complicated. I can't explain their point of view or the context, but I'm sure there's a reason. Sometimes it can be financial even. Trauma is a hell of a thing.

Think about kids who've been abused by their parents. They typically still can't help but try and earn their love. Human brains are. . . fucky, to say the least.

[raducu]

> Why?

Why does Stockholm syndrome exist?

Because it benefits survival in a violent world.

Not politically correct, and absolutely not condoning violence, but a lot of women have a deep primeval sexual response(they lubricate) to displays of physical strength, dominance, aggression and violence.

[ceejayoz]

> Why does Stockholm syndrome exist?

It might not.

https://twitter.com/sezmohammed/status/1252500993972948992

[raducu]

What about occam's razor? I mean, setting aside the insinuations of woke individuals.

Does Stockholm syndrome exist?

No doubt in my mind that it exists from the Sabine Women to the Abduction at Shiloh and every ancient siege aftermath to the war brides of WW2, the evidence is overwhelming.

[hello4353]

"they lubricate". The same applies to some men(dominatrix, mistress, bdsm). How to reason this? My point is this is not gender specific.

[raducu]

Can you explain how men lubricate?

I'm not sure why people get triggered by anybody mentioning these facts. Do you think that I or others are saying women should have no agency because they lubricate or "worse" have orgasms during rape?

> My point is this is not gender specific

I think the only stuff that is firewalled into gender specificity could be stuff that's in the Y chromosome, and even that would be debatable.

[true_religion]

Why did a powerful communist party leader manage to get “consent” from someone he previously raped… well probably because despite resigning, he still retained the power, money and influence to make other people cower before him. One could easily go into this so called consensual relationship thinking that by not resisting they are at least not getting hurt.

[robinduckett]

Gee, I wonder why.

[lrem]

Yup, humans can be complicated :/

[voidskull]

This plot is similar to Chinese "dog-blood romance" (that's what they call it, when its translated to English) novels which I've read, quite often.

[baybal2]

A consensual relationship in between an 18 years old, and a 58yr grandpa? Something not right there.

[tremon]

Familial relationships are never consensual.