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by louhike 1688 days ago
"Is it normal?" just sounds like you saying "it isn't normal, she did something bad", almost putting the guilt on her. The thing is, it's just of no importance. We do not have the whole context, she might have loved him or saw an interest in the relationship, but it does not matter for this. It does not change the crime of the sexual assault.
3 comments

That’s not at all what’s being asked. It was an honest question and you are attacking the asker for not being as woke as you in how relationships of victims often play out.
I'm not putting the guilt on anybody. I just have a hard time to understand the dynamics of such relations. I don't have any hidden motives for my comment.

> she might have loved him or saw an interest in the relationship, but it does not matter for this

That's exactly the part I have trouble digesting. If I was sexually assaulted by person (that I want to take them to jail for it), how can I pursue a relation (later) with them? I don't think, also, that I'll be able to love such a person. But I guess that's just me?

I disagree. Yes the law is the law and he should not have raped her, but she also should have had the moral fortitude not to then get into an affair with him.

The guy checks all the boxes, and will have to be punished, but giving the appearance of a scorned mistress doesn't help her convince something so wrong happened a decade ago.

But, no need to be perfect to he heard, and she'll have to have her chance.

> she also should have had the moral fortitude not to then get into an affair with him.

> giving the appearance of a scorned mistress doesn't help her convince

Given that we are certain both of those things can exist together, the case must at least be investigated. People should not have to be punished (or disbelieved) for being what they are: imperfect beings.

GP:

> "Is it normal?" just sounds like you saying "it isn't normal, she did something bad", almost putting the guilt on her.

You:

> I disagree.

Also you:

> she also should have had the moral fortitude not to ...

This seems to be a contradiction, unless you disagree on some metalevel, disagreeing with the course of events in general.