[matheusmoreira]

Power and control.

Females have a wide range of birth control options, all highly effective. However, they are all entirely under the woman's control. They can stop birth control without the man even knowing about it.

This isn't some conspiracy theory, either. Women do show up to gynecologists to ask them to remove their IUDs with the explicit intent to have a child regardless of their partner's wishes. This is not considered rape.

Male contraception eliminates this problem. Men are now in direct control of whether their sperm is able to fertilize. Just like women are currently in control of whether they ovulate.

[krageon]

If your relationship balance and trust is based on whether or not your partner can secretly make babies with you without your consent, that is something to be addressed (in a human way, not by using ultrasound on your testicles).

[matheusmoreira]

Relationships are hard and often imperfect. People often lie and act irrationally. I've seen justifications like "he won't leave me if I have a baby with him".

As men, this is absolutely something that we should worry about.

[krageon]

They are hard and can be imperfect. More importantly, you cannot have a good relationship founded on this kind of thinking:

> People often lie and act irrationally.

If that is your fundamental truth in interacting with your partner(s), your relationships will never really get anywhere. It is just not good advice to tell people to do so, unless you want them to never create meaningful connections with their partners.

[matheusmoreira]

My experiences with relationships are overwhelmingly positive. However, there's always a non-zero risk that such a maneuver can happen. I've seen it happen, many times. Even in otherwise happy couples. Are you willing to bet your future on it?

[dingdongbing]

Your partner can also kill you in your sleep, life is never a guarantee

[matheusmoreira]

Somehow cold blooded murder of a defenseless person doesn't seem at all comparable to an unplanned pregnancy.

[krageon]

Betting your future on your partner is the whole point of having a shared household. You and I must have a significantly divergent of what a positive relationship looks like.

[matheusmoreira]

> You and I must have a significantly divergent of what a positive relationship looks like.

I guess. I've never had reason not to be open about these issues and it's never disrupted trust in the relationship. I've discussed these ideas with every partner I've ever had. They weren't offended, they understood. Many even had their own stories of unplanned pregnancies to share.

My girlfriend lets me give her the trimestral birth control injections.

[dingdongbing]

Finally a real answer, and not an increase of 2% chance of blood clots for a certain type of contraceptive pill.

But this doesn't make a difference either because now the man can stop going to the ball blasting session.

The main issue is trust, and why are you having unprotected sex with people you don't trust in the first place?

[matheusmoreira]

> But this doesn't make a difference either because now the man can stop going to the ball blasting session.

It makes a huge difference. Actually it changes everything. With male birth control, there are 4 possible outcomes:

  1. Man and woman don't use birth control.
     Conception is likely.

  2. Man uses birth control. Woman doesn't.
     Conception is unlikely.

  3. Man doesn't use birth control. Woman does.
     Conception is unlikely.

  4. Man and woman use birth control.
     Chance of conception is astronomically low.

Notice how conception is only likely when both partners want it.

When only women have access to effective birth control, they have a lot more leverage and therefore power:

  1. Man has no birth control. Woman doesn't use hers.
     Conception is likely.

  2. Man has no birth control. Woman uses hers.
     Conception is unlikely.

Currently, the choice to have children rests almost entirely on the female. All she needs to do is secretly stop her birth control.

> The main issue is trust, and why are you having unprotected sex with people you don't trust in the first place?

Trust should not be necessary for a matter of this importance. Children should only be born when both partners consent. It's as simple as that.

Also, condoms are not particularly effective at contraception. The statistics assume perfect use and that doesn't happen in reality. Their main purpose is protection against sexually transmitted diseases. That isn't perfect either.

[dingdongbing]

What kind of relationship do you think you're building without any trust and explicitly telling your partner you don't trust her by both of you using contraceptives?

Let the fairer sex have some power

[matheusmoreira]

> What kind of relationship do you think you're building without any trust and explicitly telling your partner you don't trust her by both of you using contraceptives?

One where I don't end up with children I didn't plan to have.

> Let the fairer sex have some power

They do have the power to prevent conception. That's nice.

They should not have the power to have our children without our consent. The reasons for this should be obvious to anyone. I'm honestly surprised it's not considered rape.

[gambiting]

>>The main issue is trust, and why are you having unprotected sex with people you don't trust in the first place?

I guess you never had a condom break? As rare as it is, it happens.

[dingdongbing]

Actually I've had it happen quite a few times, but it's been my own fault every time either for using condoms that were too thin or the wrong size when I first started using condoms or being drunk when putting them on.

[gambiting]

Right, as you yourself admit - it has nothing to do with trust. You can absolutely trust or not trust someone, and a condom can still break, maybe because you made a mistake, maybe for some other reason, but trust isn't the "main" issue.

[dingdongbing]

This guy was talking about female contraceptions, not condoms

[FooBarBizBazz]

Men also have a second option that preserves power and control: Just avoid penile-vaginal sex until pregnancy is desired. I.e., say "no".

[matheusmoreira]

Yeah, sure. I want to be happy though. Why can't we have our own pill?

[FooBarBizBazz]

Sure, I don't disagree. But, you know, my post contained a little bit of a payload; I wasn't saying you need to be celibate.