[thaniri]

I can at least anecdotally say that I am in a privileged position of being enormously happier after COVID-19 shut my workplace down and every employee was told to work from home. I associate this entirely with my commute being reduced to nothing. I hope working from home in IT becomes the future standard. Big expensive cities are not worth it.

To expand on the article. One thing I've noticed is that a lot of people in my age group (18-24 years old) are desperately trying to find happiness in "experiences" but finding emptiness due to social media. Often for them, it is not achieving something amazing like a long bicycle trip, or summiting a mountain that brings them joy, but they are thinking about the resulting Instagram photos instead.

Communication tools like Snapchat are a little bit healthier. Most people use Snapchat not to show off, but rather to regularly share their lives with a small group of friends.

Certain social media platforms like Instagram or TikTok seem entirely designed to try to get their users to pursue building a following and attach their happiness to that. Some unfortunate people end up having all the joy of traveling and meeting new people robbed from them as a result. They know that "experiences" are better for happiness than possessions, but somehow the result is a bastardized version the actual experience.

Knowing all of this, I am not taking a holier-than-thou position. I myself have accounts on several social media platforms, but make a conscious effort to not get drawn into their dopamine manipulating designs.

[ZephyrBlu]

> Some unfortunate people end up having all the joy of traveling and meeting new people robbed from them as a result. They know that "experiences" are better for happiness than possessions, but somehow the result is a bastardized version the actual experience

I'm in the same age group and this is what I don't get. If you're enjoying your experience so much, why the hell are you trying so hard to create content for social media? Just sit back and relax.

I think the biggest thing for people our age (And probably a bit older as well) is that they lack purpose. Social media is so popular because it's instant gratification, and a great way to attempt to fill that void.

[buran77]

> If you're enjoying your experience so much, why the hell are you trying so hard to create content for social media?

Because many also enjoy the experience of being admired or envied by others, perhaps even more than the original experience itself. The original experience might even be "the necessary evil"* to get the appearance. Anything that can turn into an exhilarating "high" given by the appreciation of your followers. Like any high you have to chase bigger and bigger experiences to get the satisfaction.

Those moments pay off whether they're pleasure or pain because they all translate into literally days (/s) of appreciation from your followers plus a story to throw at the dinner table once in a while for another light dose of the drug. I think it's not really about lacking a purpose. Just perhaps that the purpose doesn't give them the same or enough satisfaction. Like any other "drug", you don't need to lack purpose to take it. After all being admired can be a purpose in itself.

And this by no means applies only to social media. People buy expensive watches, or cars, or houses where the maintenance cost itself reminds them every time of the downsides but other people's admiration more than makes up for it.

* the popular Everest base camp hikes, marathons, and others. Things most people don't necessarily enjoy yet a disproportionate number of them advertise them on social media.

[ZephyrBlu]

> Because many also enjoy the experience of being admired or envied by others, perhaps even more than the original experience itself

...

> I have many acquaintances who go to great lengths and expenses for an experience they don't particularly enjoy but which pays off on social media

That's my whole point. No wonder people are unhappy when they rely on external things for happiness and fulfillment. It's peak stupidity.

I don't believe what you're describing is sustainable long term.

I think Jim Carrey said it best: "I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer."

[buran77]

> I don't believe what you're describing is sustainable long term.

I'm describing things that have been happening for millennia: people seeking the admiration of others even at great cost for themselves. Social media is the last manifestation, in line with modern times. It's still the same drug just obtained via different means.

I don't know how sustainable it is, if social media puts us above the sustainability threshold by making this practice more accessible to the masses. But as the article states people have put up with a lot of permanent downsides (e.g. a long uncomfortable daily commute) for the fleeting joy of the upside (e.g. having a bigger bedroom).

On the other hand social media allows people to get that satisfaction with a one time investment. One fancy trip = one big dose of admiration from thousands of people. Your grandparents had to take a mortgage to get this effect. Entire industries were created purely to satisfy such needs, anything containing "luxury" is a good point to start. Of course there are many other implications here but while we can agree it's probably not good that so many rely on this for their daily life happiness, it's hard to quantify how bad.

Anecdotally the worst outcome I've seen from social media induced disillusionment was couples falling apart because the more immature one lived "inside" social media and real life didn't provide any of the same highs. The disappointment took a sledgehammer to what was probably a shaky foundation but still.

[ZephyrBlu]

I don't disagree that this has been going on for millennia. I think humans are far less rational than we pretend to be (Myself included).

From the article: "The problem is, we consistently make decisions that suggest we are not so good at distinguishing between ephemeral and lasting pleasures. We keep getting it wrong".

I believe social media massively exacerbates this phenomenon rather than making it sustainable.

> Of course there are many other implications here but while we can agree it's probably not good that so many rely on this for their daily life happiness, it's hard to quantify how bad

It's a slippery slope to me. If you don't eliminate the need for external validation it snowballs, just like an addiction.

Note that I'm not saying external validation is inherently bad, but relying on it is. We all like getting praise and compliments, but relying on them to prop ourselves up is a recipe for disaster.

[skinnymuch]

> I think Jim Carrey said it best: "I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer."

Focusing on the “rich” part here.

Money can help a lot. I’ve been in positions in life with and without excess money. I wasn’t happy in either situation, but the lack of extra money is far worse.

I know many people feel pride in working for money, but I find that lacking as much as going for experiences for social media clout. I enjoy working, but having to work for 40 years on assigned work in order to have a home, healthy food, et al, is not the answer.

[tonyedgecombe]

Which is probably rooted in our need to attract a mate and spread our genes. The trouble is we don't really know when to stop. Even if you are aware of what's going on it's easy to slip back into this way of thinking.

Of course marketers play on these insecurities in rather insidious ways. They will make you believe you can't be a good father without owning a new SUV, that buying a house in the country is going to make you sexually attractive to the opposite sex and on and on.

[dminzi]

It’s hard to say whether the lack of purpose causes the addiction to social media or vice versa. I think it’s probably the reverse. It’s hard to find purpose in life when every time you’ve been bored since the age of 12 you’ve logged into a distraction machine.

What I find most troubling is that a lot of people in my age group know the detrimental effect social media has on them. They’ll knowingly waste a couple of hours everyday. And, anybody who tries to pull away from it is ridiculed for “trying to appear superior” or mocked for apparently subscribing to “back to nature” ideology. This makes it even harder to leave; it delayed my own escape by at least 1 year.

What makes it downright frightening to me is that we as a collective have several enormously difficult problems that we must solve. Information floods the brain and drowns out thoughts that should be had daily like “the past 5 years have been the hottest ever recorded.” Politics is another area that scares me. People my age are upset with the government. Yet, most could not write more than 5 tweets about why. They’ll claim the opposition has been lead astray by questionable news sources on social media sites while simultaneously participating in exactly that trap themselves.

Quick and cheap ideas became a source of easy gratification. Generations raised in such an environment are probably not prepared to face the challenge of a world sliding - admittedly slowly - towards disaster.

[prawn]

I can appreciate that for many, the competitive side of social media is harmful. People compare lives and feel inadequate. But I know others for whom "creating content" is a hobby like photography or film making. I personally find it all very motivating and as a result get to travel a lot and label it work. As you said - it can add purpose for some.

I create content because it preserves memories and/or more than pays for the experience, enabling more trips. I travel, take photos and videos, and then sell media afterwards. Just like other people watch TV or movies, I enjoy editing photos or putting little movies together from footage I've shot while having a glass of wine.

Last year, on a particularly large trip, I took a lot of video to document it: https://shubbo.com/us/ - now I wish I'd taken more. I love looking back over it and reminiscing, as does my family.

Sometimes I feel like you can create content or consume it. I enjoy both.

[ZephyrBlu]

I see what you're describing as healthy because it's first and foremost for yourself, not to impress others.

I also completely understand someone who enjoys something like photography or filmmaking taking the time to document their experiences.

However, I doubt most people who post on social media fall into either of the above categories.

[prawn]

Most people I know online are parents of young children. They, like me, post to share what they're doing with friends and family. Who is really posting their dog soggy at the beach just for selfish attention? They're just sharing their lives with friends. Maybe my social circles are generally fairly wholesome?

I'm a bit socially inept, so if I'm at a gathering and know (from Instagram) someone outside my immediate circle that I'm talking to has recently holidayed with their kids or got a pet or whatever, it's a big help prompting conversation.

For me, appearances and experiences are part and parcel. Let's say I like going on adventures and that I like people to think of me as adventurous. And so being adventurous to demonstrate that I'm adventurous is self-serving. Gets me off the couch in those moments I need a little push.

[wenc]

Because for some of us, it is a means of self-expression.

When I travel, I take lots of pictures and write travelogues about the culture of the place, and about the unusual things that might surprise me or my friends on social media. I also often try to engage with people in the local language (I usually start cramming with spaced-rep apps 2 weeks before the trip), so it's a linguistic journey as well -- I write about conversations too (that said, Basque was very difficult and nobody cared that I tried to speak it. No luck engaging in Catalan either, most folks just switched to English. But Korean was helpful in Korea, as was Portuguese in northern Portugal).

The pictures I take are not of umbrella drinks or beaches, but of local people doing their thing. I take pictures of subways and the little details that reveal the systems-thinking behind the subway system (which differs all over the world). I take pictures of pieces of technology that are localized to the domestic culture and reveal the way people interact with physical objects (Japan had so many gems). I almost always go on a walking tour so I also get to document the history that I learn along the way -- seeing physical spaces are great, but with a walking tour you also get the time dimension through storytelling.

My social media posts are an invitation to my friends to see a world that they've not seen. I often travel alone, so writing about my experiences and explorations helps me feel like I'm sharing those experiences with my peeps back home. It also helps me feel less lonely -- yes, one makes friends on walking tours but those are fleeting and you never ever see them again. The most gratifying interactions on social media aren't the likes but the comments that start with "what's that?".

Telling stories on social media also helps hone your storytelling skills. I once took a course in flash fiction (i.e. really short fiction) writing which was nice and all, but the real test of flash writing is in telling stories on social media where you have to get and keep people's attention with words and pictures within the constraints of a single post.

It really depends how you do social media. Done right, it can be extremely gratifying and can elevate the experience of travel.

(there's nothing wrong with the performative aspects of social media if you know what you're doing. Take Anthony Bourdain -- sure, he was making a TV show (trying to get the TV equivalent likes as it were) but he also portrayed cultures with an artistic sensitivity that none of the other chefs had. Gordon Ramsey for instance goes to a country to show the locals how he can cook better than them...)

[dougmwne]

Just wanted to chime in to say that you sound like you have a very self actualized approach to travel and social media. I'm not on your page at all on social media and mostly collect experiences for myself. Hearing you explain the draw, I totally get why it works for you. Thanks for sharing!

[wenc]

Thanks for your kind words!

[el-salvador]

The description of your instagram profile has made me genuinely curious. It describes the kind of pictures I take when I travel. Is your ig profile public?

[wenc]

Ah unfortunately my picture stories are only on FB and only open to my friends. I find that keeping the audience small helps me stay true to myself. Because I'm not performing for a larger audience, I don't feel I need to invest in production values or endless rounds of editing (as would be the case if I were a blogger or a vlogger).

It's just people who know me and who are amused by my posts.

[searchableguy]

> If you're enjoying your experience so much, why the hell are you trying so hard to create content for social media? Just sit back and relax.

One example that I found interesting in India is that people want to travel to religious places out of a sense of duty for their peers. I think to some extent social media works the same. You feel the need to share your life with your peer group because they do for you.

[dougmwne]

Interesting perspective. I don't share much on social media because I know I have privilege that friends and family don't have and I am concerned that sharing too much would make them feel bad. I don't want them to compare their lives to my highlight reel. Our lives set examples for the people around us, so I try to set the right example.

[yetihehe]

> I think the biggest thing for people our age (And probably a bit older as well) is that they lack purpose.

Do you have any good purposes? I already have several good ones applicable only to me, but what would a generally applicable one look like?

[ZephyrBlu]

I want to have a positive impact on the communities I'm apart of by building amazing products for them. I'm specifically interested in B2C SaaS products at the moment.

That's it for now, nice and simple. I think the community part is pretty generally applicable.

[Broken_Hippo]

Except if you are poor. I've honestly been to poor to be able to volunteer because I either worked weird hours and couldn't volunteer regularly or couldn't afford the gasoline necessary to volunteer. And I'm lucky - I didn't have children. Folks with children have it worse, though a portion says it does give some purpose. I don't know as I'm childless and plan on remaining that way.

A just-over-minimum wage job isn't really having a positive impact on the community and even if it did, you aren't treated like it does.

[thrav]

Your comment made me realize that Social Media is online gaming for the popular kids.

It's basically an MMORPG, but you're playing as an invented version of yourself.

[ip26]

why the hell are you trying so hard to create content for social media?

In theory, there are people for whom it is completely organic. Their life is charmed and they have a natural eye for photography. So with a few lazy snaps for grins, they create a compelling feed. They aren't trying hard!

That's what everyone else is trying to ape. The effortless cool.

[tsycho]

Great points. Once you get used to the dopamine high of people "liking" your posts, it can get hard to relax and enjoy the actual experience. And switching off your phone/camera is not really what you want either, because you genuinely want to save the memories digitally.

My solution was to basically completely stop posting publicly. I still take lots of photos on trips, because I enjoy photography too, and want to save the photos, but I am doing it for myself. There's no pressure of other people liking it since apart from my close family, no one will get to see them [1]. And as a result, my photographs have organically skewed towards capturing more faces and natural expressions, and not just landmarks.

[1] From a tooling perspective, Google Photos private albums are awesome for my use case.

[piffey]

Fellow photographer here. I still participate on Instagram, but rarely and only posting prints of my photographs now. I've found that the act of making a print, hanging it, or putting it into a "photo book" type form is way more satisfying of a medium to share with others.

I find myself posting less and less on social media and enjoying my own work in that context more and more. It has also led to an improvement in my own work just from the amount of time I spend looking at photo books and thinking about how they're built, sequencing, ties between disparate photographs, etc.

If you aren't printing your work now I highly recommend getting a good printer and making some large displays of your favorites for your home. Next time you have people over they'll be asking for prints.

[grugagag]

Can you recommend a good printer for large prints?

[lowwave]

>Certain social media platforms like Instagram or TikTok seem entirely designed to try to get their users to pursue building a following and attach their happiness to that. Some unfortunate people end up having all the joy of traveling and meeting new people robbed from them as a result. They know that "experiences" are better for happiness than possessions, but somehow the result is a bastardized version the actual experience.

Yeah, not surprised. Talked to a neuroeconomic PHD friend once, and he said social media FB definitely putting in a lot money in R&D to make their product as additive as possible.

[gonzo41]

Remember in the 90's when everyone thought Bill Gates was terrible and now everyone views have tempered to view Bill as a really smart savvy businessman.

I don't think the same fate is in store for Zuck. I believe history will judge him harshly. Mostly because he's damaging children more than anyone else.

[moneywoes]

I can confirm this anecdotally. If I don't open Instagram for a day, I'll always get a push notification prompting me to see some of the stories my friends have posted. Like clockwork.

[hycaria]

A claim that surely takes a neuroeconomic PhD to make !

[doublerabbit]

> I hope working from home in IT becomes the future standard. Big expensive cities are not worth it.

I don't. I hate working from home.

When my apartment is all I have to run away from life, adjusting it to be a working space just totally wrecks my personal psyche. Sure a laptop can be turned off but knowing the desk I use for general is now my work desk ruins the whole environment for me.

At least from the Office I could come home and know it was personal. Everything work related is in the office and everything home is personal.

[nicbou]

> Often for them, it is not achieving something amazing like a long bicycle trip, or summiting a mountain that brings them joy, but they are thinking about the resulting Instagram photos instead.

This reflects my experience. When you have an audience, you have a certain pressure to perform. You subconsciously start framing everything in terms of potential likes. Having fun isn't enough, you have to prove it. Checking in can easily become more important than being there.

I don't post much anymore. My profiles are all private. I do not turn moments into content. I just try to enjoy being there. It certainly improved my experience.

[rsynnott]

I'm not sure how _new_ this is, though. Here's Monty Python on the subject of people inflicting their holiday photos on others, 50 years ago, for instance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAxkcPoLYcQ

At least these days people that way inclined can get all the fun of showing off their photos without actually holding anyone hostage on a sofa.

[monadic2]

While there’s a grain of truth to this, you’re neglecting the simultaneous experience of self consciousness of this at the same time. I believe there’s a David Foster Wallace short story about this somewhere in Brief Interviews with Hideous Men.