Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

[surds]

The same question was asked just over a year ago - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20477104 and had several thoughtful and amazing answers.

There has been global upheaval over the last few months. I feel the folks here would have great advice and tons of experiences that others can learn from.

[muzani]

The world happenings hasn't affected me at all. Same job, family is fine. Things are nice and getting better.

One trick I've learned is to just show up. Instead of planning to write a whole module in a day, I now plan to just write 5 lines of code. This has helped me a lot - I've picked up two programming languages in three months just with the intent of watching one minute a day. I've had a lot of work done on my side project and have recently been getting fan mail on it. I cut down on a lot of bad things simply by planning twelve 2-minute tasks a day, and being engrossed in them.

Similarly, it's important to avoid creeping into bad behavior. Once we drop good behavior, once we're a couple minutes late for a meeting, a class, a deadline, things rapidly deteriorate from there.

Career wise, my goal is no longer to make a better salary (I have enough), but to do more meaningful work that I'm satisfied with. Meaningful work tends to be recession-proof too.

[cyberpip]

I've discovered this way of looking at work as well, though I apply it more to outside of work personally. It really amazes me how much gets done when I decide "just do it for a chapter or two" or whatever the measurement is.

[tmaly]

I like the 2-minute task idea. It reminds me of the 1-pushup micro habit. Once you get down to do one pushup, you end up doing more.

[oldsklgdfth]

I do something similar with running. I tell myself to give it a mile before I quit. Once I'm a mile in a usually finish the run.

[twox2]

Can you share some examples of your tasks?

[muzani]

5 tasks are personal, religious.

Exercise. Anything within 2 minutes - 3 push ups, some squats, etc.

Learn iOS programming. 2 minute video, which I often play in 2x speed.

Work on my side project. 2 minutes is quite a lot of progress as the bulk of the work is data entry.

One task for a game I'm playing. It's not productive but I'll do it anyway. It used to take an hour, but thanks to habit, I shortened it to half an hour and can go even less.

Spending a little time dedicated to the family, nothing else, no phones. Cook breakfast, run with the kids, tell them a bedtime story, help them with homework. I thought I might have neglected this, but it seems it's already a habit.

Two to a regular work task. One in the morning, one in the afternoon. It's usually something like write 5 lines of code, remember to keep it to 2 minutes to cut out procrastination.

What really happens is that I'd rush through all the chores. After all they take just two minutes. I watch an intro video to iOS navigation, which is unsatisfying and end up watching a whole chapter. I write 4 lines for my project when I'm busy, or code an entire module when I feel like it. I do three push ups when I'm exhausted that day or run the whole neighborhood when I'm in the mood.

It's put me 'in the mood' to do a lot of productive things. I end up delaying the bad stuff until later, or have no guilt over doing them because I had a good day.

[giantg2]

I've learnt that changing stacks gets exponentially more difficult as I get older.

I've also learnt that even the good companies that say they care are just as terrible as the rest. My company touts in interviews how they never lay off employees (contractors they will) and they essentially laid off 3000 employees recently. They have continually eroded benefits since I joined. They also don't care about your career and will use you on dead technology and then outsource your job so you have to start over.

I guess the biggest thing I learnt is the world is a shitty place and I'm screwed.

[justaguyhere]

I think we are at a tipping point - my dad had a single job all his life, for 30+ years. While the organization he worked for wasn't great, they also didn't actively sabotage their own employees (benefits etc) as far as I know.

At this point, people with skills have a choice - they can start a business, freelance etc which come with their own problems (healthcare in the US especially). Even if a small % of the current wage slaves try this, and even if some of them succeed, it might at least start a movement. Maybe it is already happening. I see a lot of people realize that most employers are the same and they don't care about anything other than short term profits and are branching out on their own.

Another option is to unionize, that is not easy either.

This world has a severe shortage of good leaders (I am struggling to name even half a dozen world leaders that are worth anyone's respect). If communities organize locally and help each other, we can tackle big problems with a lot more ease. This is happening with food though - there are communities that are trying to grow their own food where they were previously dependent on imports.

[giantg2]

Well put.

I have a friend with a union job (construction) and is overtime eligible. I would love to get paid for the hours I actually work and have a contract that details what I'm responsible for. I know tons of people who consistently work more hours than required and get a small bonus relative to the extra hours (9-11 hour days vs 7.5 required). Then the rest of us are seen as lacking potential because we 'only' work 7.5-8 hours. They are constantly adding additional responsibilities and expectations at an unrealistic rate without any real training.

When I was hired, they hired me for a Java developer position and then stuck me into Filenet work immediately. The company is notorious for hiring under a generic title and then placing you into some obscure stack like FileNet or Neoxam.

I know unions can have their downside, but having a contract and representation when dealing with violations of it would be awesome.

[justaguyhere]

From what little I know of unions, I'd say it is better to have unions (with all the problems they bring) than not at all. With unions, workers have a chance at least to get fair treatment. Without them, it is totally one sided. Just look at the way Amazon treats their employees - who has the balls to take on them? Cities and mayors are bending over backwards to get Amazon come to them. The power imbalance is pathetic.

Another problem are the middlemen. In my own case, all the middleman company did was organize an interview. I haven't met them, they don't care about the candidates they place. They do nothing but write contracts and make phone calls. They lie to everyone - their clients, the candidates they place, and fellow middlemen. And for that, they take a huge cut of the candidate's salary/billing rate.

40-50 years ago, it was easier to do protests, spend time on policy/societal issues etc. Today's society is held hostage by high tuition, expensive healthcare and a hostile police force. It is hard to muster the energy to do anything but survive.

I don't know what the solution is. It is not pretty though - we cannot continue like this and still hope to support 7+ billion people (and rising).

[giantg2]

The population and future population events (pandemics, wars, control policies) are something I've wondered a lot about. I wonder if things will happen slowly enough that a sufficient portion of the population will voluntarily say "I don't want to bring a kid into this world" or if controls will be necessary. Of course with the economy being consumption driven, we will have a massive problem either way.

[justaguyhere]

The no kids thing is already happening on a small scale. I decided when I in college that I'll never bring a child into this world.

There was even a guy who wanted to sue his parents for his birth. As absurd as this sounds, it makes one think. Maybe that was his motivation

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-47154287

[toto444]

I thought some people were acting dumb but that it was only a facade, that once things would get serious they would stop pretending being dumb.

I now genuinely believe that if there was an Ebola outbreak people would still go to underground gatherings and say 'I did not know' once they or someone they know gets sick.

[theshrike79]

Some people are unable to chat socially via text only.

Since going full remote I've pretty much lost track of a bunch of work friends, since we don't directly work on the same thing and don't have a reason to chat on Slack. We used to hang out at work and lunches regularly.

I've been on IRC since 90's so having text-only friends I know only as a nickname is a completely normal, but it seems younger people need either voice or image to connect properly.

[muzani]

I'm the opposite. I have trouble getting along in the real world, voice, and video, but I comfortably joke and socialize in text.

[znpy]

looking back to the whole 12 months:

- a job is mostly a way to earn money. the joy and pride about your work are within yourself and not in your employer. you can do amazing work at any place. it's up to you to always try to be better an improve yourself, your work and your job.

- the mood/vibe and the work load otoh are very important. if an employer overloads you then it's wise to look around.

- simpler architectures are better

- if you need to operate a custom service and need high uptime, developers MUST be in the loop

- you don't need aws/gcp/azure to be in the cloud. openstack providers do exists and work very well (and you're improving the whole market)

- switching job is nice

- some coworkers will become friends, most of them will just pass by.

- hear various opinions, but then decide with your own head.

- taking care of your own body is super important. can't do that much coding if you're dead or sick in a hospital.

- sometimes you just have to do grunt work ("toil"). meh, it's life.

- starting doing something when you don't feel like starting is the best way to get past that feeling.

- time in the early morning >>> time at late night

- work from home is possible and not that bad. not that i had doubts, but we finally had a general, large scale, realistic test run. remember this to recruiters when they'll forget in a year or two.

- having money saved up in the bank is more important than owning shiny things or doing fancy vacations. i realized this during the lockdown when a lot of companies were halting production and/or laying off people, and i had saved up enough money not to have to go sleep under a bridge in case of job loss.

[ralphstodomingo]

> the joy and pride about your work are within yourself and not in your employer

I just wish I realized this sooner. No one else is responsible for your career progression, job satisfaction and personal fulfillment other than yourself.

A recent experience I've had was to initiate a conversation with my boss for five years that I've been unfulfilled with how I haven't been receiving actionable, meaningful feedback for a year or two, and that I'm having problems engaging myself with the current progression of our projects due to this.

Expect how I was treated?

I find it how hard to imagine how I wound up with an insubordination charge when the reason I initiated such a discussion is because I wanted to work out the relationship and wanted to stay. I'm in charge with all of the projects, and I've been deeply involved and accountable for the whole business.

The anxiety and tension the whole situation brought to me wasn't worth it. I'm just passing time until this all blows over.

[pestaa]

Damn that must have been a tough discussion to start. I've been burned by similarly brave moves. I, too, consult the inner stoic, and with increasing frequency it recommends silence.

[oldsklgdfth]

If you have a problem you can fix, fix it. If you have a problem you cannot fix, accept it. Either way complaining gets you nowhere.

Building consistent daily habits takes a while, but after a year you will marvel at your progress.

The medium is the message. Social media [probably] cannot be built in a way that promotes "healthy" discourse.

Not all things can be understood in a scientific context. That does not make them any less real.

[mister_hn]

I can work remotely productively, even with kids at home and that I am more productive than being in the office.

I've learned that I can be very fast in changing environments and being able to do my job from home after the very next day I've started working from home, without disruption, on a new, unconfigured machine.

I've also learned that interviewing for jobs has become something horrible, with most ghosting and coding challenges well done but poorly reviewed, maybe due to the high number of candidates/required salary expectation.

[souprock]

I find that even with 12 kids, working from home is productive. The difference is that I can go do a bit of work between other tasks. If I have an hour to spare and need to walk to work, about 50% of the time would be walking. It just isn't worthwhile. At home, I can put the whole hour to use. Also at home, I know I'm there for emergencies, so my wife can go out to run errands.

[FELDO]

You have 12 kids?

[kleer001]

Likely Mormon, they do that. Source: grew up across the street from a Mormon family. No value judgement, it's just the only pattern I see that matches.

[FELDO]

Catholics? Hasidic Jews? They also have large families sometimes. It indicates a lot of love between the parents, in any case!

[doublesCs]

You have 12 kids?

[jakkyboi]

You have 12 kids?

[surds]

Last year, I did have a comment on the question - It was good to express what I was feeling and get considerate feedback on that - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20477882

For me, the situation right now is almost amusing.

Had I been writing this comment yesterday, I'd have stated that things were fine despite the upheaval in the outside world and I was doing OK remotely in a job that paid well and it was fun to work with very smart people.

Today, I am out of a job and staring at sudden uncertainty in the near future. Still, compared to a year ago, I am more like myself - calm and composed. I am around family and have things to look forward to. The trauma and near-depression from a year ago seems significantly reduced. I am almost glad to realize that the damaged me from a year ago seems to have healed quite well.

The near future is uncertain, but I am optimistic. This shock and uncertainty might just be what I needed to finally get going and find my own path. Time will tell, and perhaps I will too - in the next year's thread.

[krageon]

The past 12 months have taught me that a life mostly without peripheral colleagues is amazing and also that I should have gotten a dog years ago.

[throw_away_45]

It's important to hold on to good habits and not slip up beyond an acceptable threshold.

The world happenings have definitely affected me significantly. I had a great set of habits, pre lock-down with a meditation practice, exercise routine and just generally getting out and about in the city over the weekend.

Now, I have a sense of hopelessness that seems to have percolated through my body. I find movement and just generally motivating myself to do anything as a big challenge. I've tried the 1 push up mindset, but somehow I keep tripping up and eventually feel 'gassed' and 'exhausted' from just being.

Job-wise - am barely making it. Just about touch and go. Life wise - don't really have one. We are expecting a kid soon, preparing for that, but otherwise not really much going on.

Would love suggestions from the community here around working one's way out of a rut. Just nervous af in general knowing that I was at a much better state few months ago.

[Mr_Sweater]

Professionally : Leave IT asap, I'm fine with the "latest and greatest" leaving me behind, given all the time and freedom of a remote workday with no children or spouse to distract me, Id rather workout, watch tv, cook and read than implement yet another infrastructure automation tool. I cannot work remotely. I do not know what to do with myself professionally.

Personally : I lack life experiences, the Midwest is homogeneous and I need to upend my life the moment the world returns to normal. Planning life more than a few weeks at a time is very hard but not impossible. Two workouts a day puts me in a very happy place mentally. There is immeasurable value in community bonds, I lacked this for the first 25 years of my life and having found it recently I cant believe I never sought it out sooner.

[thelastinuit]

It’s chaos out there, be good.

[tcbasche]

It's taught me that I can work from home pretty productively. I was worried at first given the lack of separation between home and work but the discipline required I've found has benefited other areas like making sure I get outside and drink plenty of water etc.

[archenemy]

By this time last year I was starting to enjoy my first summer with a driving license, finishing the first renovation on my recently bought home (no mortgage!), choosing a venue for getting married in September, and earning a decent salary (while working from home) for the first time of my life. Things were looking good!

I started to make plans: renovate the rest of the house, taking my extended family on a trip, and maybe eyeing a second house as an investment.

I was fired the first day I set foot on the office as soon as I got back from my honeymoon on october. No explanations beyond "you cost too much", when I had got the raise without asking. No negotiation, no talking about new arrangements. I got depressed, and then angry, and then depressed again... you get the idea.

I tried to keep myself current, freshen up my skills with some new languages, but I've been unable to think about coding since then. As soon as I see a screenful of code I get angry again.

And then 2020 and you know what happened. Fortunately I still had some savings. The fact that I feel like this and still have it better than many, many people makes me sad, and compounds on the frustration.

So TL;DR: what have I learned?.

- Don't get too invested in your plans.

- Control your expectations.

- So much of life is outside your control.

- F*ck "where do you see yourself in five years?"

(edit: reduced typos and profanity)

[giantg2]

How did you buy a house with no mortgage?

Sorry to hear about your job. If you can prove that they fired you because they didn't want to pay the increased benefits costs since you got married, then you might have a case.