I know it's not intentional, but when I scrolled down and saw "parental duties" at the bottom of the list I laughed and said to myself "that's not how this works!". Move that one to the top, above sleep even, when the kids are young.
Feature request for the calculator: if you say you have kids, it asks you what time they are in bed and asleep by and what time you try to go to bed: this window of time is now your chores/maintain relationship with spouse/gym/relax/hobbies/whatever time.
To be fair, a "lifehack" is that once the kids are old enough (~1? 2? Depends on the kid and the couple) at least one night a week should be a solo night for a parent, while the other one gets the night off. Bonus points for having a weekly babysitter (or grandparent) for date night.
Kids from elementary school onward have homework, friends, books, games, TV, etc occupying several hours of most nights. It’s not like they’re interacting with both parents continuously for every moment between work/school and sleep.
for a first grader in a country where schools are very intensive, it takes 100% parental involvement for every minute of homework. have more than one kid, and both parents are busy...
You kind of chose that life with complete impudence, internet stranger. No one trips while walking and finds themselves with twelve kids.
...You're not the person that decided to have so many kids because of a fear that having only a few, and then all of them dying of some sort of one in a million chance catastrophe would leave you distraught, were you?
1. Is there some rule that people are only allowed to make decisions that make them personally and continually happy? There are any number of good and pure reasons to choose a difficult life and also remain human and be able to communicate the difficulties of that life.
2. Why the general disdain for people with more than the normal number of kids? This person that you have admitted do not know is very different from you, certainly, but does not deserve the negative undertones given here.
I say these things as a father of 4 adopted children that are both the biggest challenge and blessing in my and my wife’s life.
It's 100% natural with 1 wife. Homeschooling takes time.
I almost bought a house that had been used as a foster home. It was disturbing. Everything everywhere had locks. Even the drawers in the kitchen had individual key-based locks. You needed a key to open the drawer. There were camera feeds all across the house. The windows were secured against exit.
Genuinely curious as to why you chose to have 12 kids. I don't have any and have no plans to father any either (you've had my quota for me, thanks!) but I can vaguely see the appeal of one or two but 12? That sounds incredibly difficult physically, mentally and financially.
I have a three-year old. He comes home from daycare at 3pm and is asleep by 7:30, and I don't have to be in bed until 10pm to get my beauty sleep. You double-up on 'parenting time' and things like cleaning up and cooking dinner, but even if you didn't it's not hard to see how two people could divide the time between 3pm and 7:30 with uninterrupted 'parenting time' and still have lots of time left over to take care of obligations and yourself.
And that still leaves 2.5 hours after he goes to bed that you get to spend however you like.
I filled the form in and it tells me I have 11 hours of free time per week, that's with accounting for three hours of parenting per day (i.e not counting it double-booked with any other time, which is how you're really spending it).
People generally have more time available to them than they think, especially if they try to make more effective use of their time.
Feature request for the calculator: if you say you have kids, it asks you what time they are in bed and asleep by and what time you try to go to bed: this window of time is now your chores/maintain relationship with spouse/gym/relax/hobbies/whatever time.