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by cientifico 3296 days ago
Workout, meditation, distraction, talking with people didn't work for me. They were ways to silent the emotions and postpone the problem.

What worked for me was a lot of self reflexion. Understanding way I was angry in the first place.

I found out that happiness is just the way of approaching things. That the world is just a projection on your head. An interpretation of the five senses + state (learned experience mostly).

Changing the input, just mades you an slave of the environment. Changing the state, gives you back control over your feelings.

If you reflect about why the feelings appear in your mind that generates stress, anger, you can start accepting them, welcoming them, until the point you no longer get anger, or stress...

For me, it become a routine. A) a way to trigger the self reflexion, or consciousness while stress happens B) find the reason for the feelings.

Example: People don't understand what I say, and then do other things. It bring up fear, rejection, mostly coming from childhood. Ok. I converted an unknown unknown into a know unknown. I excuse my self and decide if better communication skills is a task that I am willing to commit learning, on that case I do, or I just acknowledge that I often going to have mistakes and laugh about it.

Time over time, I was able to have happier live. Even enjoying the sadness that sometimes generates things not going the way I wanted at work.

6 comments

I love your comment. It is raw.

I have also begun to look at the world reductively, sense + state, as you said. It helps.

What I found is most powerful, however, is to fall in love, then to focus on building intimacy.

Not very scientific, I know. But I think we can all agree that being in love is a wonderful feeling. The problem with love science is that love feels out of control and science requires tight controls to measure and validate results.

There is no way to do this with love, thankfully, but it works.

In the process, I have come to accept my faults and helped my partner to accept hers. Through mutual understanding and support, we have been able to grow together through shared experiences.

We have also had our share of arguments, and we have both given in to moments of human weakness and self-destructive behavior. But, through accepting responsibility for those off moments, apologies, and forgiveness, we have only grown closer. If we never fought, we wouldn't recognize how good we have it otherwise.

I would make one addition to your beautiful comment by suggesting that the ultimate answer does not lie within.

The answer to anger and host of other issues lies in the deep, time-tested reflection of who we are in another person's eyes.

This is especially true when a person feels unworthy of love.

You touch my heart...

I think in live, we go through phases. Once my best friend told me my ex, lied to me for six years and both of them stop talking to me.

It was a huge disorienting dilemma. It implied a lot of suffering, even desires of committing suicide. Then I started to do tens of therapies of different types, meditations of different types, studied psychology and physiatry and overall, I think all the experience was profit. But was difficult.

Right now, I think is really difficult to change the way we see live from a comfort zone, as there is no incentive for the brain to change that values. Being said that, we can improve behaviour from the comfort zone. Not the values.

Coming back to your comment, after your best friend and your girlfriend betray you, all the trust schemes are destroyed, and any partner that I found... fears kick in, and I ran away.

So I decide to stop trying to have a partner, and let my brain to do its magic, and decide for me when I should fall in love.

One of my favorite quotes:

"There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved."

-- George Sand

Happiness is dependent on other people holding up their side of the bargain? You have to have luck as well as effort, in order to be happy?

A grim thought.

This quote does not actually imply the same person(s) in both clauses.
It certainly does when it's posted in the context of a romantic relationship!
Meditation is broad on possible styles. Mindfulness being on of the simplest practices to explain and practice. We're all experiencing mindfulness all the time, we just haven't become aware of it yet, or we judge ourselves to harshly, "That was to simple, I can't be doing it right."

What you describe is a analytical type of meditation where you step back from the stimulus of a thought and accept that it happened and caused you to feel a certain way and if it reflects reality or not. This is a wonderful meditation practice that you can use to make good change in your brain. You are more mindful then you give yourself credit! :)

Makes sense. I think what you are describing here seems to me like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and that probably indeed will help your symptom (and then maybe over time the new ways of seeing things may become easier or more permanent - or you could/should consider changing jobs?)
I really like your explanation. Incidentally, what you describe in paragraphs 2+ is what I understand "meditation" to be.

You mentioned that meditation did not work for you. Can you explain what you take "meditation" to mean? It may help me and others what meditation is and what it strives to achieve.

Really good point. Thanks.

As you pointed out, the understanding of the word "meditation" is not shared by all the people.

To prevent some kind of bias from applying to the person, and knowing that on average, these ideas are going to bring fears like "I don't want to be a monk", "I don't want to be weird", I prefer to separate the concepts far away from the word from the beginning, even before the thought of association appears in the mind.

For that, and without knowing the audience, I prefer to go to the concept first and forget about the word or start and endless discussion about what the word really means that most times bring us far away from the initial topic.

You probably saw the same with feminism. It is easier to talk about the concepts behind, without referring to it, than start a discussion about what feminism really is. Right?

Do you think this makes sense?

Precisely, it's Vipassanā (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vipassan%C4%81), the original wisdom developed by the Buddha.
Or is it? There's not much evidence that the Vipassanā of modern practice is exactly as Siddhartha Buddha taught it: https://vividness.live/2011/07/07/theravada-reinvents-medita...
There are alot of meditation techniques and meditation practices. Most of them revolve around the idea of using the thinking mind, the analytical process, to gain insight about something.

If you do orthodox meditation, you should know there are levels called "dhyanas" or "samadhis" that roughly correspond to your concentration level. The higher the concentration level, the easier it is to see whats going on (like the levels of a building, higher = more range), so you gain a better insight.

This information is not much shared in meditation circles, so people waste their time and lives not knowing they should really request a teacher to show them how to increase their samadhi power and continue to make progress.

Where could one go to start learning?
I found this book very helpful in approaching some of the things OP talks about.

https://www.amazon.com/Anger-Cooling-Thich-Nhat-Hanh/dp/1573...

Also, check your blood pressure regularly every morning and evening, for a few weeks. You could be non-symptomatically hypertensive (for all sorts of reasons); talk to your doctor if you find your blood pressure consistently on the higher side.

What you described is essentially meditation, more accurately dzogchen meditation