[sverige]

Every time I read one of these articles about genius and madness, I become smug for a little while, then I get depressed because I realize that I haven't accomplished anything noteworthy, then I'm mildly reassured because occasionally my wife will spontaneously aver (contrary to all expectation) that I am a genius, then I get distracted and start chasing some ideas, then I get depressed again because, well, shit, I still haven't accomplished anything that anyone but my wife knows about, and anyway these ideas I chase are very interesting but once I've figured it out, I am satisfied and don't share it with anyone, because I don't really give a shit about becoming known as a genius, if I even am (which I doubt seriously).

Then, as a general rule, I start drinking if I have no obligations for the evening. Thankfully this evening I started drinking before I read this, so I can skip all the other stuff and just enjoy this awful feeling as I contemplate several of my friends who have accomplished things, and one of whom is actually a genius, unlike me.

Edit: Thank goodness for whisky. (Did I mention that I predicted Trump's victory back in August 2015? I'm pretty good at political predictions.) (No, I don't vote, and my predictions don't imply endorsement. All politicians suck, even those who aren't (or weren't) politicians.)

Also, if I ever accomplish anything noteworthy, I will let you poor HN comment readers know immediately.

[pryelluw]

I used to feel the same way. What changed? My brother died. Dropped dead. I realized that life is not only short but fragile.

I started to work on improving my life one step at a time. Wanting things to happen overnight but knowing that takes time. Sometimes losing faith but never losing focus on the end goal. I want to to not waste my life. Forget being smart or doing something big. I don't want to regret wasting it.

Ive recently realized that things worth doing are worth doing well. That means its going to take time before anything good happens. Having patience is paying off.

I do stumble. Sometimes choosing to not work and relax. Whatever. My way to deal with this is to not see this as a loss but as an inconvenience. I can still (and often do) work for 10 minutes after wasting an hour or two. Its better than nothing.

Lastly, if you want to accomplish something noteworthy, go and jump off the empire state building. If you want to do something worth doing, look inside and figure out what makes you tick. Then go do it. Its not wether you can or cant. Its wether you want or not. Good luck.

[epalmer]

pryelluw Sorry to hear that your brother died. More than a decade ago I had 4 way by-pass. The doctors told me they thought I could die any minute. Waiting for the doctors to take me to the operating room I had a conversation with God where I asked God if I would survive. I was told yes, that it was not about me and was about the kids.

It took me a few years to figure out what was meant by the conversation. You see I have two kids. I came to realize that it was about more than my kids. So now I work at a University after working at a credit card company and I volunteer for programs that help youth. Mostly STEM related activities like FIRST Robotics.

>If you want to do something worth doing, look inside and figure out what makes you tick.

This is so true. I used to think I needed to volunteer in ways that were public or the opportunities provided by my employer or friends. Once I got over that I searched for opportunities that were aligned with my skills and talents. So I work with STEM and more.

[pryelluw]

Thank you. Thats amazing. People here talk about disruption and changing the world with some silly SaaS. You are the one actually doing it. Im glad you are.

[sverige]

Yes, I agree. I do not spend all my Saturday evenings in this state. In fact, it's quite rare, and 99% of the time, I am very content and reasonably focused on accomplishing good things for my family, friends, and society at large.

P.S. I am very sorry to hear that you lost your brother. That must be painful.

[pryelluw]

Thank you. I wish you the best of luck. I mean it.

[vkreso]

Thank you for this, it resonated quite well in me.

[pryelluw]

You are welcome. Im glad it did.

[noir_lord]

When my GF tells me I'm really clever I just say "not really, I have a good memory and read a lot."

I'm not proud of my intelligence, why would I be? (much of it) is determined by genetics and the environment you grew up in and I had little control over either of those.

I also point out she is the one who speaks 3 languages fluently, has a degree in finance and qualified as a shipbroker, I just explain things really slowly and simply to a very fast idiot for a living.

[alanh]

> I just explain things really slowly and simply to a very fast idiot for a living.

Given that I have the same job as you do, this took me an embarrassing number of seconds to understand.

Well said.

[faraggi]

I don't know what he means. why 'fast idiot'?

All I come up with is you guys are lawyers?

[rpedroso]

They're programmers, the fast idiot is a computer.

[epalmer]

I must be slow today. I had to read this comment to know what a fast idiot is. I too work with fast idiots. But now I'm slightly embarrassed. Time for more coffee I think.

[notreal55]

I call them idiot savants.

[arghimonmobile0]

Computers are high-speed morons, according to folklore. If I had the source I'd quote it.

[smaddox]

I'm not sure he was the first, but Feynman talks about computers being really fast but dopey filers in one of his lectures for laymen.

[xapata]

> good memory

Funny, that's the same for me. People confuse memory for thought.

[yowlingcat]

Love this description, 'very fast idiot' is poignant and accurate. May have to steal that one from you.

In a similar vein, my mom and dad forked into different paths but are both intelligent in very different ways. The intelligence that allows him to speak five languages fluently, though, is something that's really far from my mom's aptitude with Fortran and laser physics, or my own with the "very fast idiots" (as you say) that I work with.

[da02]

How did you two meet? At work?

[noir_lord]

We met online, her profile and interests where a mirror image of mine, same films, same music, same outlook even the same books.

The only disagreement was over whether 2001 or Bladerunner should hold the top spot on best films, I maintain 2001, she maintains Bladerunner.

[da02]

That's adorable and lovely. You're going to have quite a life together.

[hyperpallium]

There's that TED talk about an older meaning of "genius" is something that visits you, like a muse, and not something that you are. It's just up to you to be prepared when inspiration strikes, to notice it, and follow up on it.

Noteworthiness is also very dependent on context. If you're too late, you're not a genius, even though you came up with it independently... how can what other people do affect your brain tissue? It can't; genius isn't about your brain, but the context.

Geniuses are like prospectors who get intrinsic credit for striking it rich... but they didn't put the gold there. However, it is right to celebrate them, to encourage prospecting...

[sverige]

Well said! I read those ancient Greeks a long time ago and yes, real "genius" is something that overtakes a person, not inherent.

[alfonsodev]

Would you mind to share a link to the TED talk ?

[epalmer]

This is probably the Ted talk that was being referred to: https://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius

This is one of my favorite Ted talks.

[alfonsodev]

Thanks, I saw the video, she makes some references to the spanish word olé! as an evolution of the word Allah! expressing there is god in that performance. There is another spanish expression "tener duende" literal translation "to have a fairy-goblin-like-magic-creature", mostly used in flamenco.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duende_(art) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duende_(mythology)

[epalmer]

Thanks for those references. Threads of truth in language.

[mtdewcmu]

You seem to have a fixation on the idea of genius. You are susceptible to momentarily convincing yourself​ that you're a genius, which is followed by feelings of inadequacy. Why don't you try to put this genius idea out of your head? Convince yourself that you are probably not a genius, but that's ok because you do your best. You may have to grieve for a bit as the loss of your genius fantasy sinks in. If you feel a sense of loss, then it is definitely gone.

[sverige]

Oh, how many times have I done this. I think it is a side-effect of growing up in a time when the idea of genius was especially promoted, and also of being raised by parents who were teachers and who thought geniuses were important.

Thankfully, I have a good counterbalance of extensive readings in philosophy and theology.

Now, for a real sense of loss, two days ago the grandmother of my best childhood friend died. She raised him since his mother was about 15 or 16 when he was born, and she was one of those influential adults from my childhood. She was 93.

I happened to be taking a driving trip from Iowa (where I was raised -- yes, by Swedish parents) to the east coast, so on the way I drove through the tiny town where I grew up. (I grew up with the people who made Templeton Rye when it was still bootleg. I recognize the people on the label, even though I haven't seen most of them for 40 years.)

When I drove out to my childhood best friend's farm (a mile outside of town), only two of the outbuildings were still standing. The barn is gone. The house is gone and the basement has been filled in and grass is growing there. Some of the old trees have been cut down. Even the old hand pump that was in front of the house is gone. (It worked when I was a kid.)

It's ridiculous, I suppose, but I cried, and I'm not at all what you might call "a crier." The memories were so thick and so . . . not painful, but acute. I am cursed with an extremely good memory. The sense of loss, or really I suppose the sense of the contrast of difference between reality and the ideal in my memory, made me cry.

I think that is what accounts for that sense that perhaps one is a genius: 1) the desire to be a genius, in order to impress your dead parents or perhaps your peers who have inordinate reverence for genius; 2) a better than average memory that creates a deep sense of time; 3) sensitivity to change; 4) as the article points out, noticing things others ignore.

Now that I'm mildly buzzed, I'm going to work on creating a triple boot of LinuxMint, Manjaro, and OpenSUSE on this shitty little ThinkPad T60 made in 2006 since the wifi has quit working with OpenBSD. I'm too tired to figure out why, and I've never tried any of these Linux distros, and who says doing stupid stuff like this is only for teenagers?

Please forgive me for drunken rambling on a Saturday night. I promise I won't do it again for at least a year.

[arghimonmobile0]

I don't have anything constructive to say, except that you sound like a quite special and definitely very perceptive person. It is random meetings in meatspace with people like you seem to be (I am likely projecting, but near with me) that light up my life. That is no recognition in a public sense, and perhaps not bona fide genius either, but I'm sure that you contribute more than you realise to more people's experience than you realise.

But perhaps it's just me rambling on a Saturday night.

[mtdewcmu]

The sense I get from him is that he enjoys storytelling, and the stories should not be mistaken for literal truth.

[sverige]

I do enjoy storytelling. The story above is literal truth, unlike some that I tell. The problem with drinking is that I'm more likely to share literal truth about myself than when I'm sober, when "myself" is rightly seen as a very dull topic. (How embarrassing all of this is in the morning light.)

[mtdewcmu]

You write very well, so there's that. Probably not genius level, unfortunately.

[da02]

I would recommend Void Linux if Manjaro doesn't please you.

[sverige]

Thanks, I had not heard of that one. +1 for LibreSSL. Downloaded it and will try it.

[erlehmann_]

> I still haven't accomplished anything that anyone but my wife knows about, and anyway these ideas I chase are very interesting but once I've figured it out, I am satisfied and don't share it with anyone, because I don't really give a shit about becoming known as a genius, if I even am (which I doubt seriously).

I propose to blog anonymously about those “interesting ideas” then. That way you can achieve something, but get none of the personal recognition you seem to want to avoid.

> Then, as a general rule, I start drinking if I have no obligations for the evening.

Please stop drinking alcohol regularly, especially when you feel depressed. It may make you feel good for a short while, but drinking alcohol regularly can result in liver failure, mental illness, and an increase in the risk of cancer, among other diseases.

[sverige]

Haha, I do blog anonymously! Raoul Xemblinosky and the spiders are the only ones that have found it. (If you don't know Raoul, you could google it, but I have no idea what it will show these days. Google keeps changing the reality of Internet history according to some unknown algorithm.)

I only drink alcohol very occasionally, and not compulsively. It is quite different than it was when I was compulsive decades ago. I have been to literally thousands of AA meetings, but have abandoned that philosophy as incomplete and disingenuous. (See the Orange Papers if you understand the previous sentence and are curious.) I sincerely appreciate your concern.

[taurath]

For some reason (probably my whiskey) your self aggrandizing comment was quite entertaining even though normally I'm put off by "I am very smart" posts.

[sverige]

I detest "I am very smart" posts. I just came back to delete my bullshit comment, but I have decided to let it ride because of your kind words. I am glad you found it entertaining. Hopefully I won't hate myself in the morning for not deleting it. :^0

P.S. I really don't think I am a genius, just to be clear.

[taurath]

Well then you have a clear chance of being a genius, since according to other threads those who think they're a genius aren't!

[sverige]

This, my friend, is the well-worn path to the rabbit hole.

[jacobush]

But the real problem is giving a shit. Being a genius is nothing. Be kind to you.

[epalmer]

>Be kind to you.

This is probably the best lesson to learn in life. Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Put one foot in front of the other and keep moving.

My mother used to tell me that I was a genius but I ignored her because she was a little crazy (literally).

I think we should all try to find out what we are good at and try to improve that. The more I read HN the more I get humbled into knowing that I don't know or understand much in terms of the complex world we live in. I don't even approach genius, nope not even close.

I used to get depressed thinking about what I could have become. And as I approach retirement (4 years out) I have had many thoughts of regret for what could have been. But now I seem more comfortable in being me, in being what I had and have not accomplished and being okay with that.

For me the big accomplishment has been raising a family that is well adjusted and loving.

[taurath]

I suppose we could pair it with a causality loop and be here for the rest of our lives!

[dredmorbius]

And down the Rabbit Hole lies a Templar Cave!

[sverige]

How I wish someone would discover an actual Templar Cave!

[yankeehue]

I also found it very entertaining. But, that might just be my whiskey, err, Scotch.

[Judgmentality]

I think it's because he doesn't take himself too seriously.

[e40]

No, I don't vote, and my predictions don't imply endorsement. All politicians suck, even those who aren't (or weren't) politicians.

You're good at lying to yourself, too. Bush and Gore weren't the same. Clinton and Trump weren't the same, either. Had Gore won, we'd literally live in a different world. The Middle East might not be as stable as the US, but it would be vastly more stable than it is now.

And, looking back in 4 years, I'm pretty sure the world will be very different than it would be had Clinton gotten elected.

Between you types (the apathetic) and the Trump voters, we are so fucked.

[sverige]

I used to be the opposite of apathetic. I was deeply involved in party politics at the local and state level. I met and spoke with governors and senators, representatives and mayors, presidential candidates and district attorneys, activists and money people from both parties. I raised money, I knocked on doors to get out the vote, I waved signs at busy intersections, I sat through countless committee meetings. I even ran for a state office once. (Lost, thankfully.)

All of that experience taught me that there is, in fact, no difference between Bush and Gore. There is a difference between Clinton and Trump, but there is no difference between Clinton and Jeb Bush.

By the way, Trump is different because he comes from outside of that system that has been built up since the late 60s. He doesn't fit any of the existing paradigms the Baby Boomer generation created, which is why establishment Republicans were busy attacking him during the election and obstructing his agenda right now.

Now, tell me again I'm lying to myself. Tell me how many politicians you have personally eaten with, or even spoken to in private, in the last 30 years. Tell me why your experience is superior to mine when it comes to making such a judgment.

[e40]

no difference between Bush and Gore

I'll tell you how you are lying to yourself: Gore would never have invaded an entire country because of 9/11. He would have sent in SEAL team 6 to kill Bin Laden.

[sverige]

Rather than answering a direct question, you have replied with a hypothetical action by a hypothetical president who you don't know personally. This is the sort of behavior that drove me away from politics as a useless exercise. Please, get more involved. I think it would suit you.

[godzillabrennus]

We are all capable. Most of us just choose to drink our whiskey instead of leveling up to achieve something everyone will hear about.

[furyofantares]

The value of whiskey is pretty clear, the value of notability much less so.

[CuriouslyC]

People think fame is this wonderful thing. It might be if you have a ravenous ego that needs constant validation, but if you're centered and secure it is just a huge hassle. For that type of person, fame needs to be a tool to accomplish something larger.

[epalmer]

The value of wine and coffee are very clear. Daily I am thankful for the lack of notability in my life. I like being obscure.

[jacobush]

The downsides are pretty clear too, of both these things. I see notability as a necessary evil for some kinds of good deeds.

[sverige]

Hear, hear!

[jsemrau]

To repeat an age old mantra by Thomas Edison. Success is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. All your subjective intelligence is worth nothing if you can't keep yourself focused on your task.

I'd recommend starting writing a journal with ideas you want to execute and instead of drinking / watching tv crack your habit and design something cool.

[ironic_ali]

You sound like a classic e/intp Meyer's Brigg's type... The Western isles scotch's are a personal favourite :)

[sverige]

I always come out intp or intj, depending on my mood when I take it. Very occasionally it shows extrovert, but not as variable as the p/j dichotomy. And I like Tennessee or rye. Had a bad experience with scotch in my youth, still haven't recovered. ;P

[RobGal]

I think having a wife who loves you and supports you is a noteworthy accomplishment.

[sverige]

The path to get here has been rocky, to put it mildly. The dividends of long-term relationships, especially marriage, are like compound interest. At first, sometimes it hardly seems worth it. Decades later, it's amazing how much little things done years earlier pay back to the enterprise.

[epalmer]

>I think having a wife who loves you and supports you is a noteworthy accomplishment.

Hear! Hear! Total agreement. been married almost 32 years. There were many difficult years in the first ten or so. Now it is love, support and understanding.

[agumonkey]

Train your patience and inner peace. I feel tuned to another frequency, while most people listen to some signal I care about the noise blips and wonder why nobody notices.

There's truth in the genius of mainstream and average too.

[mtreis86]

Maybe your (our, as society) definition of genius is flawed? I think genius and meditate are closely related mental practices. One is practicing integrating new information. The other is practicing mental calmness and exploration. Both are things everyone experiences from time to time, and both improved through practice. What do you think genius means?

[FailMore]

There is a big separation between your mental ability to come up with strong ideas and bringing these ideas to life. The biggest difference is fear of failure / rejection, which we feel much more strongly when we do things. I would focus on exploring if you have any issues in this area. A therapist is a great person to help with this.

[projektir]

Genius and fame are not really the same thing. In some cases, they can even be inverted. If you want to be famous, you're better off studying what people like and working on that.

[justifier]

as a you poor HN comment reader I look forward to what you're working on

[purpleostrich]

Even if you DO accomplish something amazing, you then have to figure out how to share it with people who can find it, promote it, or buy it. It's likely they will not understand the amazing thing you have done, and you'll be stuck for a week, a month, or a year.

If you accomplish some great work of genius, but no one can understand it, what then?

[notreal55]

Mmmm... my father, with very little education predicted Trump's win. My coin, predicted Trump's win with a 50% chance.

[amrrs]

I think that's when you should also remember the most influencing factor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiQ_T5C3hIM (as explained by Michael Lewis)

[takeanotherstep]

It just wasn't meant to be.

[da02]

What are some examples of why your friend is a genius? IQ or discoveries?

[sverige]

One is a genius of entertainment. He's on TV five times a week. TV doesn't do him justice -- he's much more interesting in person. He always knows exactly what to say in any given situation.

One is a genius of memory. He memorized the entire Norton Anthology of Poetry when he was a child. (I'm not even kidding.) In college we all played a game where we would give him the first line of a poem. He would then supply the title of the poem, the author, the year it was published, and generally the rest of the poem, or at least the rest of the first verse. He's a college professor. You've never heard of him, but his students invariably love him. He changes people one at a time.

There are others in this group who are very accomplished in publishing, acting, comedy. I also know a guy whose name is associated with the creation ("discovery") of several elements. (I suspect he glows in the dark from all the radiation he has absorbed, but I haven't actually confirmed that.) Tough crowd if you're in a mood to compare yourself.

[xapata]

No need to restrict yourself to friends. Feynman, Da Vinci, Alexander the Great, ... there are countless individuals who have done more.

I used to (and still occasionally) suffer from staring out into the stars at night and realizing how insignificant I am. We should all be like Zaphod, eh?

Just remind yourself that life in an absurd universe is pointless, so there's no need to achieve anything beyond having a nice snack and a beer this evening.

To be honest, the thing that's most improved my happiness is exercise. It wasn't that long ago I (re)discovered the joy that you can observe on the faces of small children when they run for the sake of feeling their muscles move.

[sverige]

I am reminded that Julius Caesar was very distraught upon reaching the age of 33 years and realizing that Alexander had accomplished everything of his life by that age.

And yes, exercise is excellent for nearly every malady. (See Plato for specifics.)

[xapata]

Oh man, totally forgot that one. 33 came and went! I guess it's too late to conquer the world.

[da02]

Do any of them have any quarks or eccentricities? What are their views of politics and economics?

[sverige]

With the exception of the poet, who is quite conservative and traditional, they universally participate in the leftist hivemind. All of them (including the conservative) are quite eccentric sexually, and in different ways, based on what they have said and I have seen. Beyond that, they are only eccentric in the particular calculus of their flaws, as is each individual when closely observed.

[da02]

I'm sorry, but I feel compelled to ask: "eccentric sexually"? Overactive libido or something else?

[jacobush]

Could just as well be inactive

[eiliant]

why do you care if you accomplish something noteworthy?

[sverige]

Please see rambling reply to another poster.

[jhulla]

Wit and whisky. Wonderful combination. Cheers.