[NikolaeVarius]

I can relate.

I went on a fitness binge a bit back. These days I can run a 10k in 45 minutes pretty easily, hit very good lifts for my weight class, and eat salads basically every single meal.

After work and after the gym, all I want to do is drink or anything similar to get rid of all the thoughts in my head about how pointless it all is. Why the hell do I care if I can do all that crap.

I feel like how others do. I work 60-70 hours a week because work is the only thing that keeps me away from more depressive thoughts. I don't enjoy doing anything. I've tried going on vacations, hiking, all the things people say young people should do.

All it ever does is make me more depressed that I don't enjoy these things at all, especially since I'm in my early 20s. I've tried doing hacking with Arduino and Raspberry Pi's because I'm supopsed to enjoy that, but no matter what, I don't care because it all seems like junk. I don't care about that shit at all.

I sold a majority of my stuff, and the majority of my possessions fits into a single SUV. No permanent furniture, nothing that costs more than a grand.

Owning stuff brings me no joy, so why even bother having it around.

[ZeroGravitas]

One of the symptoms of depression is losing interest in things that you previously enjoyed.

I was mildly depressed for a while and even things that previously gave me great joy, like music and hanging out with close friends, lost their charm. I believe the technical term for this is ahedonia. Luckily I got better and the joy came back.

So perhaps you do enjoy some of the things you've tried, your just not in a physical state to feel it at the moment.

[a3n]

Yeah, this is how most things felt for me. Why do I care? And then I'd look at other people enjoying their lives, doing things they do, things that I do too, and wonder WTF? What's wrong with me?

For me, with treatment, I've gained back the capacity to enjoy life. I've gained myself back. It's not happy pills and shining eyes, it's just me, still with my individual qualities and quirks, who's been in there all these decades.

I hope you get help. It's hard to think that help is worthwhile, when everything else seems pointless. But it's worth talking to your doctor or other professional, and it's worth continuing to try if the first methods don't work. You are in there somewhere.

[mistermann]

Do you hate what you do for work?

Kudos on being able to accomplish all the fitness goals under the circumstances, fwiw.

[NikolaeVarius]

No, I actually somewhat enjoy it. I do wish it was a bit more technically challenging, but really, if I didn't work as much as I did and at the very least took a bit of enjoyment out of it, I probably would have killed myself last year. It's the only lifeline I have.

[mistermann]

I was just thinking maybe you could find something you love. At this stage the salary you receive probably isn't terribly important. If you're that close to the end of your rope, trying fairly random solutions maybe isn't that bad of an idea.

[studentrob]

Are you curious about anything? Travel, girls, sports? Could you put yourself in a new environment to renew some curiosity?

[NikolaeVarius]

Tried out travel. Went to about a half dozen countries. Didn't do it for me. Everywhere is pretty much the same. People trying to live their day to day lives with minor difference in culture. Meh.

I'm terrible with people in general. I'm generally a huge bummer to be around and people don't really interest me too much.

Sports are boring as hell to me. I used to play tons of soccer, but I don't quite enjoy it all that often. Tried hiking and mountain climbing and never really enjoyed it. Even after dozen hour hikes, mostly just got a dull sense of meh.

[studentrob]

Fair enough. Can I just say, you don't know for certain you're a huge bummer to all others. That is just your perspective. There are people who enjoy being around people who others consider a huge bummer.

I get that you don't like being around people yourself. But I know there are some who'd enjoy your company despite your own feeling. I don't have a magic solution for how to find such friends.

My only other suggestion, aside from speaking to a therapist, would be trying meditation. Taking a few deep breaths in a quiet space, sitting in a relaxed but upright position, and trying hard to think about nothing, or only your breath, for 20 minutes, can do wonders. It is harder than it sounds and can open your mind to a lot of possibilities that previously seemed impossible. I recommend the book Mindfulness in Plain English if you're interested to learn more. It's free and available online. You're as valuable as any other person on this planet. We're all equals. Once you believe that, you can do anything you set your mind to.

[Zeeem]

I don't recommend giving this advice to people who are seriously depressed. Speaking as someone who went through that for two years, it's more of a disease than a lifestyle problem. I could have done all these things and still have been miserably depressed.

What helped me was talk therapy, medication (the biggest factor), and having really supportive friends.

[studentrob]

What is the process of talk therapy? Isn't it just asking questions? Did I actually give any advice there?

For sure friends are best. But if someone vents online, how are we to know whether this person will go elsewhere or not for support? I'm not offering to take the place of a professional but I wonder if it really hurts to converse with a depressed person online by asking questions. Silence certainly isn't helpful. And if everyone just says, seek professional help, is that really empathetic? Sounds a bit robotic to me.

[DanBC]

> Isn't it just asking questions?

Not really. It's really easy to find out how, for example, cognitive behavioural therapy works, and it's not about asking

Counselling is just talking (or perhaps "active listening") but the evidence shows that counselling is pretty terrible as a treatment for depression.

[studentrob]

Cool, I see some who do CBT promote mindful meditation, particularly for people with severe depression [1].

I think we'd be a better society if this form of treatment were prescribed more often.

[1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness-based_cognitive_...