[a3n]

Yeah, this is how most things felt for me. Why do I care? And then I'd look at other people enjoying their lives, doing things they do, things that I do too, and wonder WTF? What's wrong with me?

For me, with treatment, I've gained back the capacity to enjoy life. I've gained myself back. It's not happy pills and shining eyes, it's just me, still with my individual qualities and quirks, who's been in there all these decades.

I hope you get help. It's hard to think that help is worthwhile, when everything else seems pointless. But it's worth talking to your doctor or other professional, and it's worth continuing to try if the first methods don't work. You are in there somewhere.