What I encounter in Dutch restaurants is that they give you (sometimes ridiculously expensive) bottled water when you ask for 'water', and when you ask for 'tap water' they say they only serve bottled water.
Yeah. The lack of complimentary water at restaurants is probably my biggest complaint about traveling in Europe. When I sit down, I want a big damn glass of water immediately. This is the standard in the US, and I really miss it in Europe. Like you said, even ordering water is a trial when you don't speak the language. Learning "water" isn't hard, but remembering between it and "tap water" is hard, and the waiter has a decent excuse for failing to get your order right. And they usually treat you like cheap scum for failing to order an expensive drink. Ugh.