[chime]

I might be the odd one here but I don't think this article was about the practicality of working part-time but rather a motivator. Here is the key point:

> When we were done, they took me to chai, and asked me about my life in the mountains, my time in theater. “I can also say ‘I want to go and live in the mountains.’ But who will let me?” one of them asked.

> “Remember this,” I laughed, “you need no one’s permission to be yourself.” When I got back, I read The Top Regret again—”I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

It is a weird coincidence that this is the exact debate I'm having with my wife right now. I make more than enough for us to live well and I'm trying to show her how wonderful her life can be if she goes part-time or quits her job. I've told her that she can finally do all the things she really wants to do - more time to spend with our newborn, joining mommy groups, more time to exercise, cook/eat healthier, time for hobbies etc.

She keeps coming back with her worries of future career prospects, financial problems in case I can't work, her prestige in her line of work etc. I counter with the fact that she was the valedictorian of her medical masters class with numerous open job offers with no expiration date, how we can buy sufficient life/disability insurance, how she can continue to work part-time or teach an advanced class or two if she wants to remain involved in her profession without a lapse.

For me, this would be the dream. I'd love to work half as much as I do but I can't because of finances. She CAN work half as much without worrying about finances but she is still afraid of the major change. Frankly, it is just too alien of a concept for her. I would never force her to pick a specific path so all I can do until she makes up her mind is to offer her suggestions and paint a picture of what life could be if she picked the unconventional path.

[abrahamepton]

Sounds like maybe she should work full-time, because perhaps she wants to, and you should work part-time or not at all, as you clearly sound like you would prefer.

[zellyn]

Hmmm. You're writing this as if being a stay-at-home mom is pure bliss. It's not. It is completely wonderful to spend a lot of time with your children. But it also has a huge cost in adult self-actualization and development. Some of that is completely silly (the way our culture values people who work more than those who don't, or who are experts at projecting a sense of workplace-type competence). But some is completely legit: striving and succeeding in the adult work world can also be rewarding and exciting. From our experience, looking after a kid leaves very little time for hobbies.

That finances thing is a pain... same situation here :-)

[chime]

Of course it isn't. I've been consulting from home for past 5 years myself and there is good and bad in any option you pick. I keep bringing up part-time because of the self-actualization reasons. I am just saying look into non-full-time possibilities because being away from the baby all day is already stressing her too much.

[lukego]

> For me, this would be the dream. I'd love to work half as much as I do but I can't because of

[rokhayakebe]

Perhaps you can rearrange and be the one to work part time while she continues doing what she enjoys doing. You are the one who wants this more than her, and perhaps you will both benefit better if each one did what they wanted.

[SubuSS]

So why don't you do the part time thing and let her chase her career dreams?

[chime]

We can't afford that at the moment for numerous reasons. Also I love what I do, she isn't married to her specific job, and she misses the baby a lot all day.

My point wasn't that I'm forcing her to make a major life decision because I prefer that for some reason. I was saying she has the ability to go part-time, she wants to spend more time with the baby, yet she is very concerned with making this change because it is a rare thing to do in medical field.

edit for s73v3r: She's already near the top of her field's salary range.

[SubuSS]

I don't know if part time is that rare a thing. My family has a couple of doctors who have the option of switching into emergency care / drop in clinic care etc. where they can decide how many hours to work. In fact their hours are way more solid than ours - they are usually done when they are done with their x hours and the pay is very very good as well. Do see if you can dig around more about the alternatives.

[s73v3r]

But if she's allowed to pursue her career ambitions, then it might be possible in the future.