[rada]

As someone in this 62%, I can tell you that the numbers may be correct but the terms are anything but. Men hear "rape fantasies" and think real rape, while women think "intense sex with a hot stranger which requires no effort on my part and furthermore absolves me of any decision making so no one can brand me a hoe".

As always, it helps to remember that women are people and therefore the overwhelming majority do not fantasize about actually being tortured and possibly killed or maimed for life. (Not saying that the parent actually said anything to that effect, just trying to drive home the point that these stats use bad terminology).

Edit: for some reason I cannot reply so I will post an answer here.

Is the survey methodology flawed in what they ask the respondents?

I think so. The linked study said it counted self-reported incidents of fantasies of sexual encounters that fall within "the legal definition of rape", and that's where I have a problem. The central point of the legal definition of rape is the lack of consent. So how could sexual fantasies, which are by their nature something you want in that moment, be counted as non-consensual? You are asking people about a consensual sexual scenario that's only staged as non-consensual but then you are counting it as non-consensual. It's like asking people if they fantasize about the doctor/nurse scenario (or whatever) and when 20% report that they've had that fantasy, you conclude that 20% of the population wish they had a serious illness.

[wavefunction]

That's not rape though. I guess I wonder why this 62% figure comes up if it's actually "hot sex with an attractive stranger" rather than "forced intercourse." Is the survey methodology flawed in what they ask the respondents? Are the respondents confused about what they're agreeing with? Are the results being incorrectly reported?

[magicalist]

"absolves me of any decision making" certainly implies it (and meets the "legal definition of rape" the study was looking at).

It's also easy to miss that figure is "have had" a rape fantasy, meaning at least once would qualify. This survey study[1], for instance, found estimates of 31% - 57% "have fantasies in which they are forced into sex against their will". However, for only "9% to 17% of women these are a frequent or favorite fantasy experience".

In any case, I'm not sure why this is surprising. Power dynamics are a powerful part of any sexual experience, whether they be a central part of it or just fleeting. The point that rada made above is important, though, that when speaking of fantasies we are talking about people deriving pleasure from circumstances that are imagined by the very person who wouldn't be able to give consent were the situation reality.

[1] http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18321031

[e12e]

Apart from all the things you point out, I also can't help but wonder - for eg. the US "1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed rape; 2.8% attempted rape)."[1, numbers from 1998]

So, how those that jive with "rape fantasies"? Are we to assume that many women that have been the victim of rape, still have rape fantasies? Without going into the deep topic of coping strategies for trauma, and what is considered "normal" sexual behaviour etc -- at the very least it would seem that the "rape" in one survey isn't quite the same term as the one in the other?

To reply to the sibling comment about "legal definition of rape" -- that kind of disregards the fact that these are fantasies. Isn't there something from Freud about us being everyone in our dreams? I don't think it's wrong to claim that when you fantasise about having control of someone else, you're also fantasising about being the one in control.

As for the low numbers for men (3%), I came across an article[2] on the prison system -- that doesn't really seem to change the overall picture that much: Men are less likely to be sexually assaulted in general, while inmates (of both sexes) are more likely to assaulted.

One depressing thing that can be gleaned from the second article, is that female correction officers apparently have a higher rate of abuse of juvenile inmates. Overall, I'm not sure the article adds much to the discussion of rape fantasies -- but I add it here as it might be of interest to those that are curious about rape statistics in general.

[1] https://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assa...

[2] http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2013/oct/24/shame-o...

[kidsthesedays]

Well....

I've been raped but also have (what I would consider) rape fantasies. My sexual assault isn't at all like my rape fantasies. I can't say I understand it either but they are totally different in my mind. My fantasies are different in that I have fantasies about resisting my husband (someone I trust completely) who then holds me down "against" my will and "forces" it on me while I struggle to physically "resist" but ultimately lose. It's roleplaying and when you are roleplaying it isn't like reality by definition. When I was actually raped it was different but I'm not going to describe that here because I don't want to have to defend myself.

Of course that also has absolutely nothing to do with whatever that creepy dude was talking about comparing yellow lizards with breeding rapists. We can just also say the best rapists aren't the kind that are strangers who jump out of bushes (the kind that society hates). My rapist was a charismatic "lady's man." My rape was never reported but many years later my rapist is currently sitting in jail for raping someone else. Part of me feels like I'm responsible for the other women who he raped after me because I never said anything. I'm also sure the other woman who reported him probably got a lot of backlash too.

It probably helps that my assaults was a very long time ago and I didn't start having these fantasies until probably a decade later.

[Dewie3]

> One depressing thing that can be gleaned from the second article, is that female correction officers apparently have a higher rate of abuse of juvenile inmates.

Would it be less depressing if male correction officers had a higher rate of abuse instead?

[e12e]

I meant depressing in the sense that I learned something new from the article, and what I learned was depressing.

[abduhl]

I'm having trouble tracking this here. What is the difference between "real rape" and your description?

[Dewie3]

> As always, it helps to remember that women are people

Uh, I'll try to keep that in mind.

I might sometime fantasize about fighting in a battle. That doesn't necessarily mean that I for real want to do it.