[hnnewguy]

>You can refuse to compromise on your rates, provided that you can afford to walk away if necessary.

This is very important advice, and I've applied it to car purchases, condo lease agreements, cable and phone contracts, you name it.

It's about leverage. If you have alternatives, and what the person on the other side of the table offers doesn't fit your needs, take your business elsewhere. You have to be prepared to leave or say no.

On the other hand, if you can't say no, then you don't have any leverage.

[davemel37]

This is mostly true, but not entirely.

The key is the perception of the other party, not the actual reality of whether you can say no or not.

Robert Ringer's amazing (and must read) book, "Winning Through Intimidation." Talks about how he manufactured the perception of being able to walk away, and why image and perception are more important than actual circumstances.

It's of course much simpler to play the part of being able to say no, when you can actually walk away...but you can hack your own perception to believe you can walk away even if you can't, and pull it off... or you can be a good actor and take some risks...

Either way... The premise is true...but it's more about the story you are selling than anything else.

[bawigga]

Would love to hear more about the book you mentioned "Winning Through Intimidation". Just marked as to read on Goodreads. What'd you like about it?

[davemel37]

Where do I begin :)

My favorite quote from the book is...

"I didn't mean to cut off your hands, but I had no choice when you reached for my chips." This is his argument for DEMANDING a contract for every business deal, especially with friends or people you trust. (I admit I am not great at this...)

He opens with a theory that most successful people who claim "hard work and a positive attitude" drive success are lying. They are either too embarrassed to admit how easy it was for them...or they can't see the forest from the trees and really have no idea why they are successful.

He has a few key points that really stand out for me...

"The results you get from a negotiation are inversely proportionate to how intimidated you are."

"With every deal...The key is to hope for a good result, but expect a negative one. (otherwise you will get discouraged way too quickly and give up.)

Image is everything... "It’s Not What You Say Or Do That Counts, But What Your Posture Is When You Say Or Do it."

I wrote a few blog posts over the years about his book... http://www.davidmelamed.com/2012/11/19/robert-ringers-theory...

http://www.davidmelamed.com/2012/11/20/i-really-didnt-mean-t...

Edit: I have a few extra copies. Would be happy to mail one to the first two people who ask. Just find my email on my profile and email me.

[mreiland]

I'd love to read that book, but I'm not comfortable giving out an address.

Do you have a link to amazon? I'm willing to buy the book and give you a little profit while doing so.

[jrs235]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0449207862/ref=as_li_tl?ie=... (affiliate link)

http://www.amazon.com/Winning-Through-Intimidation-Robert-Ri... (Non affiliate link)

UPDATE:

I actually have a Prime account and Kindle so I was able to read the book for free using the Kindle Owners Lending Library.

http://www.amazon.com/Winning-Through-Intimidation-Robert-Ri... (kindle edition link affiliate free)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00KQZU7SY/ref=as_li_tl?ie=... (kindle edition link with affiliate id)

[AlexeyBrin]

Doesn't seem to be available on Amazon, try on abebooks http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?sts=t&tn=Winni... it is a few bucks (book + shipping).

[exidy]

Booko lists 7 editions, latest one published October 2013: https://booko.info/works/65280 which is also the cheapest.

[davemel37]

You are better off finding a local goodwill or used book store. It was a very popular book in the 70's and 80's...

[mreiland]

I was able to find a used copy published in 2013 on Amazon :)

[ww520]

Sounds like a pretty interesting book. Is this the one? http://goo.gl/FXXRTy

[jrs235]

"It's about leverage."

I highly recommend Winning Through Intimidation. It's not about what you think. I read it after someone else recommended it in another discussion on HN.

http://www.amazon.com/Winning-Through-Intimidation-Robert-Ri...

UPDATE: After posting this I read the sibling comments and see someone else also recommended the book. Seriously, read it!

[eru]

> On the other hand, if you can't say no, then you don't have any leverage.

Yes. You can try to bluff, but someone might call you.