[munificent]

Can I take a moment to be critical here? I hate sounding negative, but I'll try to be constructive.

I was really excited when I first stumbled onto this book. As you can imagine, it's perfectly in line with my interests. But, when I tried to read it, the prose just killed me. I think there's good ideas in there, but I can't bear to wade through the heavy-handed academic style get there.

I understand writing for a certain venue requires certain stylistic choices, but I really hope you guys can tone it down a bit. Here's a sentence plucked randomly from the linked chapter:

> "Generative grammars were originally devised as a method to formally describe sets of linguistic phrases."

Let me just go through that:

"originally devised" -> "Devise" implies originality.

"as a method" -> This adds nothing to the sentence.

"formally" -> I suppose this matters in some cases but given that the chapter isn't a precise introduction to generative grammars, whether or not it's a formal system doesn't seem very critical to me.

"sets of" -> This adds nothing.

"linquistic" -> What other kinds of phrases are there?

I would edit this sentence down to:

> Generative grammars were invented to describe written text.

I understand academic writing isn't designed to be read for pleasure, but we're all human. If you make the prose more approachable, you'll reach a much wider audience. You have some fantastic material in here, great algorithms, diagrams, and structure. I just feel that the writing style gets in the way of it.

If I could suggest anything, it's that the authors go through the prose and for every phrase ask themselves: "Does this add information? Is there a way to convey the same concept in plainer language?"

[SixSigma]

This is not "academic writing", it is writing trying to sound academic. At my University you would get higher regard for your version and consequently better marks.

If it is a subject you are interested in, then George Orwell's essay on writing style [1] is worth a read.

[1] https://www.mtholyoke.edu/acad/intrel/orwell46.htm

[munificent]

Indeed it is!

I also highly recommend William Zinsser's On Writing Well. It's a perfect gem of a book and improved my writing more than anything else ever has.

[SixSigma]

I'm on chapter 6, all good so far. Thanks for the recommendation.

The full text is available online

https://archive.org/details/OnWritingWell

[ajanuary]

To nitpick your nitpick (and not to imply your ultimate conclusion is wrong):

    "originally devised" -> "Devise" implies originality.

The word original in the original text is used in the sense of "from or in the beginning; at first", while you seem to be taking it in the sense of "in a novel and inventive way".

The phrase "originally devised" implies the usage of the devised thing has since changed or expanded beyond the purpose of its invention. This is important, because it is in a passage talking about one of those new usages - dungeon generation.

Yes, your sentence has the same meaning, and in a weak sense has the same implication, but "originally devised/invented" has a history that boosts that implication to make the purpose clearer.

[stonemetal]

"linquistic" -> What other kinds of phrases are there?

Musical phrases.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrase_%28music%29

Means almost the same thing as linguistic phrases except it is about groups of notes rather than groups of words.

[mjn]

A reasonable point. I've been doing a bit of editing for style recently, and will make another pass before sending off the manuscript. At the moment the style is very uneven from chapter to chapter, partly because the authors come from different backgrounds. If you include chapter authors, we live in 6 countries and have 9 native languages between us, and different views on how a textbook should read. To generalize really broadly, the text from Americans and Scandinavians seems to use shorter sentences and a more conversational tone than that from others. (Of course, country/language isn't the only reason people vary on style and level of formality.)

But yes, I'm aiming to bring it in a more conversational direction. It still needs editing too, but Ch. 8 is closer to the style I'm personally aiming for.

[aproposreading]

I just read Steven Pinker's "The Sense of Style" and found it to be an excellent resource on this topic.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Sense-Style-Thinking-Person%C2%92s...

[SixSigma]

From that text

“A coherent text is one in which the reader always knows which coherence relation holds between one sentence and the next.”

Sage advice indeed.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/bookreviews/1108972...