| Fantastic Article. Three weeks ago I hit absolute rock bottom with exhaustion from working hard for the last 2 years (I worked out I've been working 70-80 hour weeks since Dev 2010 with 8 days off in 4 years). I resolved to get my life sorted out, I cut back work hours drastically, started riding my bike more and went to the Doctors to get help with sleeping tablets and pain management (the last 3 months I've been waiting for a double wisdom extraction) and stopped trying to carry the world and it's problems on my shoulders. Later that week I found in a fairly horrible way that my partner of 7 years had cheated on me and I threw her out. I stuck with the resolution I'd made to keep changing my life. Now I'm sat at work taking a break after writing some really nice code to handle a problem that had stumped me for a month, I'll pack up for the day in a couple of hours then I'm going home to have a shower and going out on my bike for a 45 mile ride then home, netflix documentary and sleep. In the last month I nearly destroyed my business, my health and my wellbeing as well as losing a long term relationship and I'm happier today than I have been in 4 years. I have off moments but I just remember how bad I felt when I was sat at 2am watching the moon wishing everything would end and that they will pass in time. The anxiety attacks have just about gone completely and meditation seems to control the ones that I do get. I've also realised that none of this stuff business, relationship or whatever is worth sacrificing my own long term happiness over, I was miserable for 4 years, no more. |
Some days just the act of leaving the house and coming home has me beat down. There's a serious lack of energy just spending 4 days in an office and working from home on Friday. I guess I'm saying the amount of time spent doesn't equate to the feelings of burnout. I'm fairly positive now many of my symptoms that you've expressed are likely due to some form of depression, however serious or mild it may be. I don't have anxiety attacks that I'm conscious of but that and thoughts of "wishing everything would end" are pretty clear indicators to me.
I'm glad you're on the right track and it looks like what you're doing is having some positive impact. Always stick with what works because it's clearly a push in a positive direction for you. Like me, however, you may wish to look into dealing with depression because I've exhibited many of these same symptomatic behaviors. That can affect us the same no matter if we're working 4 hours a week or 40 really, it all feels the same to me at least.