I don't know about you, but speculation about the reality of international affairs certainly "gratifies [my] intellectual curiosity". See: http://ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
Aliens, it's definitely aliens. Wait, it's called the Arctic Sea, penguins it's definitely penguins, emperor penguins! Wait, it was sailing too far south for penguins in a non-refrigerated vessel, Alien-Emperor Penguin Hybrids! Being, er delivered to North Korea, to, er, make counterfeit US One Dollar Bills!
There, solved it. So now that's over and done with, can we find something else to satisfy your intellect, not mysteries that are only a mystery because the investigation isn't complete yet.
You caught me, I have plans to release Emperor Penguins onto the Arctic glaciers, now you might want to forget this whole conversation . . . unless you want to fight a Mexican Snorkelling Kangaroo!
Dammit I haven't made those yet either. Supervillanry is hard :(
P.S. You pointed out the most logical flaw in an illogical conspiracy theorist dig, I feel quite honoured.
There, solved it. So now that's over and done with, can we find something else to satisfy your intellect, not mysteries that are only a mystery because the investigation isn't complete yet.