[deltaqueue]

I deal with this everyday selling software, and it's much more complex than being truthful and lying.

My job as a technical consultant to our sales staff is to bridge the gap between needs assessment and salesmanship. I have a 0 tolerance policy about lying during sales (I have to be to keep our sales guys from making false promises), but I struggle with finding that delicate balance between the truth, focusing on what's important to a prospect, and the manner in which you talk about capabilities you don't have. You cannot simply tell a prospect you don't have a feature if they don't actually need it because there's a lot of psychology at play. A competitor told them they needed that feature so you now have to mitigate their concerns. You essentially need to find a way to be truthful while simultaneously transferring emphasis to your selling points or to their needs.

[allochthon]

It's one thing to have a product that will meet a customer's needs and make them happy and to not say anything during initial discussions that will present a distraction or needlessly turn them off. It's another to say something misleading or to elide a detail that is material, which the customer will reluctantly suffer later on, in order to close a deal. It seems to me that modern sales organizations have incentives perfectly calibrated to do just these things. This situation corrodes trust.

[forgottenpass]

I struggle with finding that delicate balance between the truth ...

Oh, so you lie, but lie by omission? Or one of the other forms of lying we tend to morally wallpaper over? I don't see how else to read that because you said your goal was to avoid making false promises, not to avoid "bending" the truth.

[deltaqueue]

Your inference was incorrect. I said my job was to keep our sales reps from making false promises, which includes (but is not limited to) bending the truth, lying by omission, making incorrect assertions, etc.

My industry is highly mobile and quite competitive so we don't gain anything by stretching truths. Customers can leave as quickly as they come, and since we're a small shop we use a consultative sales approach to ensure customers will be happy long-term.

Again, the solution is more complex than "just tell the truth." Tell the truth in a positive way, offer viable alternatives, and re-emphasize what matters. We're selling to humans, not Vulcans.

[efsavage]

If a 5 year old child asks you if he will be killed by pirates (yes this has really happened to me), would you say no? If so, you're lying, but I don't think there is any "moral wallpaper" here, it's simply letting a kid sleep at night.

Not to say there aren't many dishonest people out there, but the parallels between sales (especially software) and this story are all too common.

[forgottenpass]

If so, you're lying, but I don't think there is any "moral wallpaper" here, it's simply letting a kid sleep at night.

If the reasoning starts with "This lie is OK because..." you're using the fact it's easy to argue that the lie was moral to extinguish the weight typically associated with lying.

The reasoning here is based on the idea the child is really asking is if there are monsters under the bed/in the closet/down the street. You lie because the truth wouldn't be reassuring, because they can't handle the complexities of the answer "Anything can happen, but the chances are infinitesimally small if you stay out if international waters."

So, are you making bad analogies or do you consider your clients children that couldn't handle the idea you're selling a complex product? It's fine if you do, people can be real dumb sometimes, I won't mind.

It just seems like you're trying to build yourself a cozy little nest between the "truth" and "lying" that extends beyond genuine misunderstandings. The weight of a lie exists on a scale. I do lie to children, but don't consider it not lying, I just don't worry about it too much. I do tend to believe in telling less "white lies" to children than is typical but that's a tangent.