[gonehome]

I thought it would be funny to make a joke site with this idea (even grabbed sadsingles.com a few days ago for it) - it's interesting someone is actually trying it.

The dating situation is so bad for single men in their early to mid twenties on the west coast that I'm starting to think it's worth bailing on the area entirely and moving to NYC just for that purpose. (Palo Alto has got to be magnitudes worse than SF which is still pretty bad).

At first it looked like the situation in NYC was even worse for women with the 150k vs. 50k difference, but the population of NYC is 8.2million where SF is only 805k. Still dramatic, but not nearly as bad.

[nostrademons]

I think the numbers are a red herring. Finding a date is a numbers game. However, if you've spent any time in a committed relationship, you'll know that pretty much the only things that matter are how she feels about herself and how she feels about you (and the converses for you, which are heavily influenced by those). All the stuff about hotness, income, intelligence, background, careers, etc. fades into the background, and you figure out how to make it work.

I suspect the reason that dating sucks in the Bay Area is because the Bay Area attracts guys (and women, but to a lesser extent) who are overly concerned with how they're perceived by others. After all, everybody is chasing the latest hot startup that will make them wealthy and famous. That same insecurity - and the same insecurity that would make you bail on an area just because there are no girls - is massively unattractive to women.

I spent a year and a half dating around, including some very hot women. After realizing that none of that mattered and the only thing important was how I felt when I was with her, it took me all of 3 weeks to find a partner.

[gonehome]

If dates are generally a prerequisite to relationships than the numbers issue tends to have a lot of influence (age does too).

My impression from living here isn't that it's people worried about their status, I think it's just that there aren't enough people - do you live in the bay area?

[nostrademons]

I do live in the Bay Area.

And my point is that there are enough people around that getting dates should not be a significant problem. I went out with about 25-30 people before finding my girlfriend; to get to that involved about 200 OKCupid messages. There were about 5 dates in the 3 weeks before and 3 weeks after I first met her.

[pyrocat]

SF != "the west coast". Easy on your generalizations.

[gonehome]

Bay Area then?

SF to San Jose - I've also heard LA isn't really better, but I guess there's the central coast.

[ballard]

The proper name is "Man Jose."

[xivzgrev]

What assumptions / observations underpin your conclusion that "The dating situation is so bad for single men in their early to mid twenties on the west coast"?

[maratd]

> What assumptions / observations

There are twice as many single men as single women in LA. Exact opposite of NYC.