[nostrademons]

I think the numbers are a red herring. Finding a date is a numbers game. However, if you've spent any time in a committed relationship, you'll know that pretty much the only things that matter are how she feels about herself and how she feels about you (and the converses for you, which are heavily influenced by those). All the stuff about hotness, income, intelligence, background, careers, etc. fades into the background, and you figure out how to make it work.

I suspect the reason that dating sucks in the Bay Area is because the Bay Area attracts guys (and women, but to a lesser extent) who are overly concerned with how they're perceived by others. After all, everybody is chasing the latest hot startup that will make them wealthy and famous. That same insecurity - and the same insecurity that would make you bail on an area just because there are no girls - is massively unattractive to women.

I spent a year and a half dating around, including some very hot women. After realizing that none of that mattered and the only thing important was how I felt when I was with her, it took me all of 3 weeks to find a partner.

[gonehome]

If dates are generally a prerequisite to relationships than the numbers issue tends to have a lot of influence (age does too).

My impression from living here isn't that it's people worried about their status, I think it's just that there aren't enough people - do you live in the bay area?

[nostrademons]

I do live in the Bay Area.

And my point is that there are enough people around that getting dates should not be a significant problem. I went out with about 25-30 people before finding my girlfriend; to get to that involved about 200 OKCupid messages. There were about 5 dates in the 3 weeks before and 3 weeks after I first met her.