[jack-r-abbit]

Really unfortunate about the NSFW part! This could have been a great tool to show kids about the darker sides of social media and the skewed perceptions you can have with digital communication... and stuff like that. But I don't really want my kids to see a bunch of dicks. The Chatroulette part could have been just as powerful without actually showing dangling cocks and jerking off.

[jessedhillon]

Hey, you know, I'm not a parent so feel free to disregard my advice.

But think of when the first time you saw any kind of pornographic or erotic material was. Did your parents know? Were the next n years of your life composed of, in part, hiding that fact from your parents? I found a porn mag in the park once when I was maybe 9 and the next several years of my life were filled with confusion and stifled curiosity.

Being that I'm Indian my parents did not want to even think that I would ever want to know anything about women until age 30, when they would marry me to one of their friends' daughters just after we both finished our residencies. They thought that through denial and obstinance they could force the world to be a nice, pleasant reality. The only thing they communicated to me is that they were unable to help me with any of my "real" problems so I would have to seek answers elsewhere.

So to me, not having a frank discussion about what exactly the Internet has in store for naively inquisitive minds, including a journey through the perverted forest of cocks that is chatroulette, seems like a decision that serves you more than it serves your kids. I would implore you to investigate whether its your own discomfort that you're trying to avoid, rather than upsetting children who will invariably see penises before you want them to.

To me it seems likely that something will happen that will disturb them and leave an impression -- this could be an accidental glance at something they weren't meant to see, a discarded piece of porn, driving past an adult bookstore when the door is open, or it could be something more intentional and malicious.

Wouldn't it be great if they were prepared for those moments, instead of being caught clueless and unaware?

[leokun]

As a parent, I'm gonna go ahead and disregard your frankly terrible advice.

[jessedhillon]

Nice.

Don't add anything useful like, say, why you think it's terrible. Just go ahead and post a passive-aggressive, oblique insult at my life experience and what I've learned from it.

Bonus points for framing it in a way that asserts your right to exercise an option I clearly articulated and invited you to in my first sentence.

I don't know why OP is concerned about keeping his kids away from chat roulette. Seems to me that HN is the home of the dicks.

[alphakappa]

You are right. It's normal to want to shield kids from sexual imagery because we are fearful for their supposedly pure minds. However, from my own experience (and of friends) , we all saw sexual stuff growing up. Porn, erotica, suggestive imagery in movies (that wanted to avoid showing sex, but it's not like we kids were fooled) and outright sex in the few R-rated stuff we saw anyway.

I don't believe any of those affected me in a negative way. It would be weirder to be shielded from all that, and then suddenly be exposed to what the real world is like when you leave for college.

[stephengillie]

My parents caused way more harm to me by trying to shield me than any sexual scene could have caused. I've spent years just trying to convince myself that I'm allowed to express that I'm attracted to women.

[jfarmer]

> Just go ahead and post a passive-aggressive, oblique insult at my life experience and what I've learned from it.

This runs the risk of being pedantic, but that comment was neither oblique nor passive-aggressive. It was just plain aggressive.

[shocks]

The worst responses always start with "As a *". Haha.

[redcircle]

You're kidding right? How are pictures of cocks more dangerous than insincerity, lies, trophy girlfriends, mistrust, and narcissism? There is a reason the movie contrasted these elements. Something about American morality.

[jack-r-abbit]

Too many replies all bashing me for the same opinion to reply to them each so I'll just reply to myself and address them.

I don't think making a PG edit of this video would be any different than the radio edits they make to songs or tv edits they make to movies so the FCC doesn't kill them. Anyone who enjoys the edited version but would still like to check out the original is free to. I would never tell an adult what they can and cannot listen to or watch. Have at it. But I do like to keep a certain level of appropriateness for my kids. If you want to show this to your kids.. have at it. You're free to do as you feel is best for your kids.

There will come a day when the sex talk happens. It will probably come sooner than I would like but I'm not blind to the reality that kids find out about stuff from friends before their parents. But I don't think the sex talk needs to be wrapped into a more general talk about the dangers of the internet and digital communication. There are more things to worry about on the web than cocks. I'd like to address those things with my kids without cocks. There will be plenty of time for us to talk about and look at cocks when it is important to the subject at hand. IMO, it is not that important for this topic.

The creep factor of Chatroulette could still be portrayed without actually showing the cocks. The creator chose to show them. Fine. That was his/her choice to make. That just limits the audience a bit.

I don't think of it so much as "sheltering" but more like waiting for the appropriate time and way to talk about certain subjects.

As mad as everyone got at me for having an opinion (one that I am certain is not unique)... I can only imagine how angry you'd get if I treated your opinions the same way. I feel like some of you want to come to my house and force me to show the video to my kids.

[gw]

The video has nothing to do with the "dangers of the internet", whatever that means. Moreover, I don't think anyone cares whether you shelter your kids and/or teens from sex (err, sorry, I meant "wait for the appropriate time and way to talk about sex").

I think people perceive that as being a facet of modern suburban parenting with a historically lopsided set of priorities. You may disagree with them, and that's fine, but to accuse them of wanting to come to your home and force you to show the video is a truly bizarre overreaction.

[csallen]

This is nitpicky, but I don't think people are mad at you for "having an opinion." They simply disagree with your opinion. Two different things.

[stephengillie]

If your kids can watch this, then it's past time to have "the talk".

[honzzz]

But I don't really want my kids to see a bunch of dicks.

Your kids will see dicks, period. They can either see them with you and you can talk to them about that, explain possible dangers, emotionally support them and create the atmosphere of trust and openness to make sure that your kids come to you when there is something confusing or even dangerous... or you can leave your kids to see them on their own while you live in some kind of illusion that you have protected them from the things you did not want them to see. That is the only real choice you have.

[stephengillie]

50/50 chance your kid already has seen his own dick.

[electic]

I think perhaps you can look at it another way. Maybe it is meant to show you, the parent, what happens if you don't teach your kids another perspective early on. They might fall into this trap of not getting out and interacting with people in real life and, instead, engage with everyone they know through a computer screen.

Honestly, if small kids see this, they won't understand. It is up to you to show them another way.

[jack-r-abbit]

That same lesson does not need to involve porn. Maybe I'm crazy for thinking that. But I don't think so. I don't need to show them pictures of bloody bodies smeared on the street to teach them to look both ways before crossing the street.

[electic]

This is not about showing them. It is about showing you. The reality is that is what the net is like and yes, getting hit on the street is gruesome. There is blood when that occurs. Welcome to life.

[jack-r-abbit]

I think you missed something in my first comment. I think it was a great message. I liked it. But I already understand all that. The unfortunate part is that it can't be used to show the same great message to kids... the ones that are less likely to already know that. It would be great if someone could edit the content a tiny bit for a non-explicit version. You know... like they do to songs so they can play them on the radio.

[anu_gupta]

Any kid who has anything to gain by watching this has almost certainly already seen more than a few erect penises.

[stephengillie]

Censorship is a nice, slippery slope.

[ndesaulniers]

I'm also not a parent, same disclaimer as jessedhillon.

I'd posit that that the harder you try to shelter a child from something, the more shocking it is when they inevitably get exposed to it. You hope that maturity will help with the exposure, but that may not always be the case.