[jessedhillon]

One time in college, I went to a busy ice cream restaurant with some friends of mine (Fenton's in Emeryville).

After entering, we saw there was just one single open table, so we went and put our jackets down on it and then got into line. After getting our ice cream we went back to the table only to find our jackets gone and some fat people sitting there, eating ice cream with their fat kids.

When I asked where our jackets were, a man, presumably the father of the obese family, told us that there were "some jackets" on the table but that they had the security guard come and clear them. As we went to find our coats, he informed us that "putting your jacket on the table doesn't count" for reserving a table.

In reading your post I am reminded of the certitude with which this large, stupid man asserted the correctness of an arbitrary and stupid set of rules, completely of his own making.

[discostrings]

> After getting our ice cream we went back to the table only to find our jackets gone and some fat people sitting there, eating ice cream with their fat kids.

> When I asked where our jackets were, a man, presumably the father of the obese family, told us that there were "some jackets" on the table but that they had the security guard come and clear them.

Is it just me, or is this comment really absurd, off-topic, and offensive?

First, why would you leave your jackets on a table out of your sight? The whole "put your jacket on a table to reserve it" thing is somewhat socially acceptable (though irritating), but it usually also involves keeping an eye on your jacket. You're lucky it wasn't on the floor or taken by someone other than the security guard when you got back.

But the larger issue I have with your comment is your reference to the size of the people who you're still mad at for taking "your" table. What does their obesity have to do with your story? In response to an article about discrimination, it almost seems like you must be trolling. Seriously, you could just substitute "slanteyes" or "niggers" and the substance of the story would not be at all changed. It read exactly that way to me.

Normally I'd just move on and assume others were offended as well, but this is somehow the highest voted reply...

[jessedhillon]

You're right. Well, maybe -- I'm not agreeing that obesity slams are on the same level as racial slurs, but what I wrote was needlessly offensive and I can understand that it was hurtful to some others. I apologize to you and anyone else, I could have written the story without those references and the point would still remain. I should have known better.

[niuzeta]

> Normally I'd just move on and assume others were offended as well, but this is somehow the highest voted reply...

And this reply is the highest voted reply to the offending reply, including mine.

Just throwing this on the table...

[icecreampain]

Being fat is an unhealthy choice. Slanteyes and niggers are born that way and remain that way no matter how much they diet.

[jpatokal]

Seriously? You should be thanking the large, smart man for teaching you the correctness of a wise set of rules designed to maximize the number of people who can use the limited number of seats in a popular fast food joint. Unless you called ahead and made a booking, you had no right to reserve those seats and inconvenience all the other people (including said gentleman and his family) looking for a seat.

[jessedhillon]

A) I was in college then. I'm inclined to agree with the reasoning you gave here now.

B) But, the reason he gave was that it was against "the rules" -- that's the point: no, it's not. It's rude and inconvenient, maybe. It's not an abrogation of a code that everyone knows. It's an unwritten agreement, at best.

[omni]

From your telling of the story, he was referring to the set of unwritten rules that I personally refer to as "the social contract," which you absolutely broke by selfishly reserving a table ahead of a family that, by your own admission, had their ice cream and was ready to eat before you were.

[Dylan16807]

> the reason he gave was that it was against "the rules"

That's not how I see it at all. He informed you that there was not a jacket rule. He did not in fact make up any rules or tell you anything about said rules or in fact acknowledge that there are table-reserving rules. I don't understand where you're coming from.

[throwaway9848]

You are really inconsiderate. And way to be a bully and pick on their weight because you didn't get your way.

[jessedhillon]

Oh fuck yourself.

I'm not saying what I did was right or defensible -- in fact in the comment you're replying to I said that I agreed that I was wrong. And in a reply to a sibling comment I apologized for thoughtlessly slamming obese people.

I wrote about a time I was a jerk and put my name next to it. You ran to your throwaway account so you could show that you're effectively illiterate.

[FatGuyInACoat]

This post REALLY isn't going like you thought it would, is it?

[jessedhillon]

I think your comment reveals more about you than me. Do you think people only post to flatter their own egos, or that the purpose of posting is vanity? Going by votes, many more people find my comment helpful, additive or interesting than those who had some criticism.

It began a discussion so that was a bonus: human interaction. I learned that I was wrong as other people made good counterpoints. So what's the problem? That I wasn't the all-knowing master of the universe at the time I posted?

Of the critics, some simply don't understand the point of the story even though it's spelled out clearly at the end. Some people have taken exception to the fat language, which I understand. I am not particularly sympathetic to them but I do admit that it was insensitive of their feelings and have apologized.

What should I be expecting here? Petals in the street?

[WoodenChair]

You already admitted you were wrong. No need to swear, be petulant and be even m o r e wrong, but in a different way.

[throwaway9848]

I've been a jerk plenty of times, and those are my problem and I feel badly about them. I try to be a better person through introspection, patience, and humility.

[Nursie]

The system doesn't work if everyone reserves a table, it really grinds my gears when people do that in fast food joints etc. You don't need the table at that moment, people don't take long to eat there, you're bringing down the efficiency of the place by doing that.

(sorry, pet hate...)

[jessedhillon]

What if everyone sat at the table and one person ferried the money and ice cream back and forth from the counter? Would that be better? Actual utilization of the table for eating is still zero, and the table is still engaged for the same length of time.

But try and evict bodies from their seats for the sole reason that their ice cream isn't in their hands yet and you would look crazy.

[Nursie]

It's every bit as irritating, not that I would bother to confront anyone over it, it's not worth the effort. Still rude though.

Take a table when you need one in a fast food place, not as you're joining the queue. Reserving tables before you have food makes it less likely that people with food can get a table.

[rgbrgb]

I get it, I really do. But if you want to stop being annoyed about this, just realize it's the norm and do it yourself. It's definitely a waste of time/vibes to be irritated about other people doing it. It's not like a grave moral issue or something. The world is full of inefficiencies and stuff to be annoyed with and a lot of them aren't actually a big deal. :)

[Nursie]

It's not the norm, though. Not here in the UK where queuing is basically a religion.

And it's not like I dedicate hours to being annoyed at it, or think it's a really big deal. I'm rarely in fast food joints anyway.

[niuzeta]

funny, you're mad because he broke your untold rule on method of reservation, on basis of his untold rule on method of reservation? And why is this particular anecdote constructive to the discussion, in any way?

It sounds to me that the kind man even let the security personnel know of a possibly lost and found articles of your belongings. I'm not going to bat you further on blatant bullying on the man's physiques, as many other have pointed it already.

[yutyut]

It's amusing to me that you find this extremely insignificant story worthy of mention on HN in a thread where it's not even tangentially relevant.

P. S. He was right. No way that shit counts.

[surge]

One, there was one open table, they had purchased their ice cream and were entitled to a table before you do. You don't "call shotgun" on tables. So what, the family who has their ice cream has to stand now while you wait in line (during which time another table may clear by then that you can sit at).

Your rules are just as arbitrary and inconsiderate. Let the people who got their first and need to eat their food sit first, there is no point in having an empty table go to waste while you wait in line.

[bangbang]

Right. So how did you react? Did you have your mom write the family a letter? Post it to tumblr? Write an angry post about the poor management of the restaurant? Or did you handle the situation as an adult and move on with your life?

[kefka]

And if it were women, they'd harangue you for your use of "jacket" as a metaphorical sexual slur.