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by markpercival
6236 days ago
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I'm the same way, I click with intelligent, inspiring and often wonderful people and horribly with people that go by the name grandalf. Seriously, I think this is horrible advise. You can certainly surround yourself with people just like you, or you can challenge yourself and meet a whole slew of interesting people. Some of my best friends are about as polar opposite as it gets. Some even like sports! As for the lines: "wanna go on a treasure hunt? I'm looking for bits of radioactive ore" This WILL NOT get you a girlfriend. "i'm looking for a soul mate and i am feeling this weird connection with you" This WILL. Three months later she'll kill your cat and you'll be seeking a restraining order. My advice - be yourself, add confidence and stop worrying about how it's going to turn out. One day you might even run into someone that is both highly educated and like sports! |
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The poster's question was about initiating smalltalk. Why waste time with smalltalk when there are big, fun things to talk about? I used to waste time with smalltalk but then one day it dawned on me that it's a total waste of time -- I typically forget the name of the other person immediately when all I've done is exchange smalltalk which creates its own problems.
I'm not a professional diplomat and I'm not interviewing for a job with you, so if all you can talk about is smalltalk, then I'd rather just be alone. If you're afraid to talk about anything controversial, or can't handle it if I disagree with you, then I don't really respect you.
Sure it's fun now and then to try to click with someone who is totally different (someone who holds traditional values, more average in aspirations and interests), but the most I've ever gotten out of it is a vague sense of flattery if the person is physically attractive, and that's a terrible reason to attempt to repeat the experiment.
Being alone is OK. Cows wander in herds, and the human tug to be around people is a lower instinct. Sure it's fun sometimes, and yes it can even be fun to cheer in unison after someone hits a home run on TV, etc., but it's all an attempt to trick yourself into feeling an artificial sense of belonging with strangers.
If you want a s/o with low self esteem, then make a lot of money and try to act normal. She'll find you.
If you want a s/o who is a unique person with a life, just be yourself (even if you're a geek) and don't try to conform to perceived norms. You probably perceive the norms slightly incorrectly in the first place (or else you wouldn't be a geek) and you're likely to overthink them.
Most importantly, don't try to "find" someone. Just be happy being alone and you'll attract similarly independent people.